Thoughts I Have

Ok, it's time to expunge my mind of all the thoughts I have that roll around and have no home.

• during a year there are more odd number days that even.
• If we had prehensile genitals (much like the way monkeys have prehensile tails) would we still have to wear pants and underwear?
• If zombies were to run amok, I would definitely use a Costco as my base of operations, plenty of food, water, and steel shutters. Unfortunately they don't' have shotgun shells.
• I've been thinking of a cheaper way to feed my snake every month, but I don't know what laws are involved in adopting kittens.
• Do the boyfriends and husbands of Firewomen feel inadequate? I mean, after handling that hose all day, how do you compete?
• If everyone had to wear name tags with ever sexual desire and fetish they had listed on it, we would feel quite differently about respecting the people we do now.
• If you're addicted to orgasm's do you ever seek help?
• When other people find out that someone wants to have sex with them, but is holding back, do they toy with them? Or is it just me?
• I know when I bought my truck it was used. But how used? I wonder how many people have had sex in my truck. Am I winning or losing this race?
• I don't trust gas stations, I mean, why is it the first ten gallons zip by faster than the last 2. Also, how do we know when it's going really slow if it's still pumping gass. You feel the hose vibrate, but that's just the fume vacuum.
• I still hate pandas.
• People have asked if they can come over and see my new place, but they don't understand how empty it is. Unless everyone intends to hang out on my bed and not watch TV (still no cable) they're in for a big surprise. On the other hand if they are intending to come over, hang out on my bed and not watch TV then I'm in for a big surprise.
• I've always wanted to own a Delorean, but I've also always wanted to mount a tennis ball gun on the front of my car. I can't do that to a Delorean, so which should I do?
• When I do get my Delorean I plan on going here: http://www.delorean.com/sales.asp
• If I could be invisible I don't think there's anything I could do that wouldn't be "naughty" or illegal.
• This morning, as I was late to work, I thought to my self "man, if I could travel through time I could make it so I was never later to work ever again." If I could travel through time why the hell would I still go to work?
• If I could create the perfect woman she'd have crazy super powers, that way we could just take over the world.
• Now that I think about it, I wouldn't want to take over the world, it's kinda lame here. I'd want to take over a really cool world. One with jet packs.
• The Phrase "hurry up and slow down" doesn't sound like it makes sense, but it does when you think about it in terms of driving.
• If you see a woman you don't know that has really nice breasts how do you compliment her on them? You can tell by the way she's displaying them that she's proud of them.
• When gay guys are at gay clubs and they have to pee, to they just openly glance. Or is privacy still in place?
• Is it true that you can go topless on the streets of Toronto? If so can someone send me picture proof.
• The other day I fed my snake a rat I got for free from the pet store. It had an ear infection that left it pretty much retarded, the thing could only roll around on the floor. Herb didn't mind doing a mercy killing and I didn't feel bad about it either.
• Most days my ambition is on par with my apathy.
• When e-mailing at work, as a matter of etiquette, you're suppose to thank the person you're e-mailing. When you make the thanks part of the automated signature, is there any point in having it?
• I hung up a "robe hook" on the back of my bedroom door about a week ago. It's slightly crooked. It bothers me, but I know I shouldn't put more holes in the door.
• My new apartment is in the ghetto. Sometimes when I walk past an open apartment door I glance inside. They all have nicer stuff than me.

Whew! Glad I got that off my brain.

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com