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Exile Industries: Department of Redundancy Department

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Getting Past The Past

while i haven't been here enough to expect to still have readers, i do have things i feell i still need to write.

durring this blogging hiatus i have found a new girlfriend, one who compliments me in many ways. and in one way, that is both a good and bad thing.

lately, we've have conflicts over the past, my past. lately it's been embodied in my flickr account. for those who are acctually up on Exile 101, you'd know that i've used a spereate flickr account to store all the pics i've uploaded on my blog. so aside from the blog being an account of my life, the flickr account is a record of the pictures.

they have all the good, and all the bad... and by all the bad i mean pictures of exgirlfriends, which has become a bone of contention as of late.

my girlfriend is upset, no, pissed that i have a flickr account that still has pictures of my ex's on them.

her view is that i'm with her now, and that i don't need to keep these pictures anymore.

my view is that these pictures, my past, are scars, they'll fade in time but i'm not going to surgically remove them either.

the scars these girls left on my heart have left me disfugured, i can't expect to be accepted for that.


Wednesday, December 02, 2009

Don't Let The Holidays Get To You



Tuesday, November 17, 2009

One Last Good-bye

as i mentioned in my last post I've been really busy, and these last two months have been the hardest.

I've written a couple posts on here about my grandma on here, I'm sure some of you even remember her tricking me into going to church (bleck.)

i honestly don't know how to start this, so I'll just vent and see where it goes...

my grandma was always a bit of a hypochondriac, as most old people are, and it wasn't the first time she had been in the hospital. but this time was different, there wasn't any "woe is me" nonsense, this was it.

it's amazing how quickly something so huge can happen. i remember my grandma calling me to pick up her new prescription on a Thursday, she was in the hospital on Monday, and the hospice nurse was scheduled to come out the following Wednesday.

she lived long enough for the family to gather around her and say their goodbyes. i stayed until midnight with her, she passed shortly after i left that night.

My grandma passed away on October Fifth, and since then I've been putting my Unemployed time to good use setting her affairs in order. as with many of the "children of the depression" she was a pack rat and every week has been us working in shifts attempting to sort through her "treasures."

we loaded nine dumpsters and three U-Haul trucks full of old plants, pots, broken furniture. we've dug up plants that had rooted their way through the black plastic containers they were in. all to make enough room in her house to hold the funeral there.

a week after the funeral those closest to her, (my mom, dad, brother, and I) took off the the Mojave Dry Lake bed to spread her ashes. Of course, in a truly perfect fashion, when my mom spread my grandmother's ashes she totally Big Lebowski'ed it...

that's right, we intended to leave grandma in the desert, but she followed us home, in our shoes and shirts... (moral of the story, check the wind before you open the can.)

Good-bye grandma, we love and miss you... even through you were crazy. hehehe

Grandma's Bowling B-day 1
this picture was taken at her last birthday, she always said it was her favorite birthday ever. (that's me in the bowling in the back ground.)



Thursday, November 05, 2009

I Live

Zombie hand

Things have been rough, i'm not going to lie to you.

last i posted i was laid off.
it's been nearly six months, and that hasn't changed much.

i've survived the last few months on a constuction gig. i worked long hours in 115 degree weather all to feed the debt that had consumed me. unemployeed, i continued on, i worked till my hands ached and my flesh was burned.

as that run spiraled to an end i picked up another gig working in San Diego (an hour away) clearing out a building for a company that went out of business. we picked the bones of the failed company. the doors were covered with eviction notices and desks were left with half cups of coffee. for three months time stopped in the building and locking in all the property and the stench of failure. we stripped everything that wasn't nailed down, then we pulled up the nails. by the end of it all the place was stripped bare, and so was the job.

now i sit here, returning to the blog i left behind back in May in the same state i was in. full circle.

i will update with more of what has happened soon, but for those still out there, i'm still here. (and yes, i've been lurking on your blogs.)



Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Peanut Butter & Sex-Jelly Sandwich

dude, wtf? why is it ever time i have to buy condoms there are 50 fuck'n kids in that isle? have you ever been in that isle? it's nothing but adult diapers, tampons, and maxi pads (young adult diapers). ugh.

and while i know i've ranted about this before, why is it buying lube is so much worse? not is the store crawling with lil' bastards but every person in the store seems to see you grab the lube off the shelf? and where does this leave me? atanding in line behind a gaggle of nine year old girls with my economy brand lube and a cold sweat.

all this because i'm conciderate... perhaps i should adopt the philosophy of "what? you didn't bring your own? well, sucks to be you. now, try to relax..."

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Tuesday, June 16, 2009

The Most Fun You Can Have With Farm Animals

So, as we all know I'm a trophy whore.

so when someone told me about scooping up farm animals and having a good time with them, i said "sure, I'm down".

so, i give you... Flock!

what's the point of this game? well, here's the deal, there's a bunch of little islands with farm animals on them. (sheep's, cows, pigs, and chickens). each island is a puzzle, your job is to take your little UFO and "scare" all the animals into your spaceship, the Mother Flocker.

the trick is that the animals are so scared of your beam that they'll run off cliffs, or into traps. oh, but there's more. Crop circles, wolves eating your sheep's and chickens, not to mention accidental ripping their fur off. (turns out my tractor beam is stronger than i thought)

surprisingly as weird as this game is it's a lot of fun, and challenging as all get out.

though, having this much fun with a sheep may mean i need to move out of the valley of the dirt people.

"I've been a baaaaa'aaad boy"



search never ending.

how goes the job search you ask? ugh.... it's beenn a month since i was laid off and i'm finally going on my first "real" job interview. the reason for the quotes is that this first non-staffing agency interview.

durring the "hunt for a job" i've been wondering which is more difficult, searching for a girlfriend or getting a job.

i've decided that looking for a job is far worse, the reason well, while the possibility of "settleing" in both regards will end badly, of the two, you "have" to get a job. (too bad there isn't a hand-lotion equivelent to a paycheck)

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Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Don't Mind Me, Just Bored...



Friday, June 05, 2009

Um, Why Would I Want To Fuck Your Crazy Ass?

Nothing special, just sitting around with my yahoo pager on and i got message from someone who answered my personal add a year ago or so.

this is what i have to deal with:

None None: hi
exile509: hello there
None None: how r u
exile509: good, haven't talked to you in forever
None None: i know
exile509: matter a fact, i think i may need to re-add you
None None: lol
(i added her back on my yahoo)
exile509: i just got a notice that you're on-line
None None: k
None None: whats new
exile509: nothing much
(i go through my archives to find a pic of this chick so i know who i'm talking to)
None None: still busy
exile509: that sucks
None None: nmo im askin r u still busy
exile509: hehehe
exile509: i've had some time free up
None None: y
exile509: work stuff
None None: dating?
exile509: sure
exile509: what about you?
None None: no
exile509: no? did you find someone?
None None: no
exile509: just not into dating?
None None: guys r like u
exile509: huh?
(my gears start turning...)
None None: if they know u wont put outthey dont wanna b bothered
exile509: oh yeah, now i remember you
(crap, i remeber this one, a born-again hypa-christian)
None None: lol
exile509: as i recall you tried to make me feel bad for being the way i am
None None: no u tried to convince me that im crazy for not putting out
exile509: no i didn't
exile509: you went on some rant on how all men want is sex and so on
None None: i still believe that
exile509: thats like saying all women want is money
None None: i want money
None None is typing a message.
None None: but i dont need a man to get it
exile509: uh huh
exile509: well listen, it's great that you decided to stop by and say hi and all, but seeing as though i'm not really in the mood to be chastised by someone who thinks i, and all men, are slime because we enjoy sex. i'll have to say fair well.

how do all the nut jobs seem to find me? and why can't they forget about me?


Thursday, June 04, 2009

HND- Half Nekk'ed Driver

Updating my blog? that's crazy talk.

Updating my Driver's Licence? even Crazier!

my first licence pic was done when i was sixteen. now, nearly thirteenly years later they finally made snap a new one. (guess they needed to update the Sexy Index for california).

So this HNT i decided to show the old and the new.

The Old:

The New:
New License

BTW, that is not a double chin, i just didn't shave that day and it created a shadow (you belive me, right?)

On a Postitive Note: i was in and out of the DMV in less that 45 min. that was awsome.



Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Who You Gonna Call?


a secret unknown to many, when i was a kid i always wanted to be a Ghostbuster. so when i heard this game was coming out i thought "cool, play as a Ghostbuster, I'm down." But seeing that you're going to be the fifth member of the team, working along side the rest of the guys? Fuck yeah.

of course, if i were one of the Ghostbusters, i think i'd probably have a different suggestion for a rookie...



Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Not The Kind Of Laid I Was Hoping For

It seems likes as soon as I'm on top i seem to get knocked back.

this post may be a little late, but for the past two weeks i've had quite a bit of "free time."

yep, Ol' Exile was laid off.

remember the post that i wrote a while back about the people in charge? yeah, well they struck again and down sized my department down to two and a half people.

i kept in good spirits while they were telling me the decision was final.
i smiled while they said that if things turned around they'd call me.
i shook hands as i was escorted out the door.

two weeks now i've been "looking" but in order to survive i've been picking up every bit of side-work can. slave labor with my dad (moving 1000 lbs trees) and making lighting rigs for someone who runs a motorcycle shop, and being a landlord.

yeah, i finally land the ideal roommate (the guy lives in San Francisco, but works out here, so he's using the room like a hotel), and start turning things around when i lose the one constant i had going for me.

as far as the job goes, i think it was inevitable. i talked to my (ex)boss and the company is up for it's bi-annual calibration and re certification. this little "chore" costs over $20,000, and according to the (ex)boss they can't afford to buy paper towels.

oh well, guess i just need to go find myself a new "monkey job"

On a side note, my Mom's cousin committed suicide today. on my mom's side of the family that's five plus suicides. so this morning when my grandma called my mom to let her know she made sure "check to see that Exile doesn't commit suicide too." Gee thanks for thinking of me, i guess.


Saturday, May 23, 2009

Anon, And On, And On, And On...

I know I've been away from the blogging world for a while, but sometimes you find pure glimmer of pure stupidity the brings that world rushing back in.

Do you remember the post i wrote a while back about the the guy claiming to be an "expert" on making women squirt? (*How To Squirt, Revisited (Still NSFW)*)

well, after five months someone left an anonymous comment that actually made me LOL out loud:

This couple - the guy doing the video and his girlfriend - were part of the
'Tantra' video series.

I don't see why you're being so critical of him. Who cares
if he has only done this w/ one woman? That's the point of tantra - a bond with
another person

The guy doesn't have to be a man whore for credibility

I can't believe how fucking critical people are on the net. How bout you put up a video series of you and your boyfriend and everyone can sit back and make dumb
comments about you

wow. i mean, wow.

your anonymous comment (with it's lack of accountability) has persuaded me to never be so critical of someone ever again...

Ok, so let's review what is wrong with your comment on my post:

1. i would have had no problem with this video if it was just "a guy doing a video with his girlfriend." if he wanted to show us how he makes his girlfriend squirt then this is very educational and would be a valuable learning tool if i ever have sex with her. but that's not the case, he's claiming that this is how all women work and this retard is actually attempting to tell people expert on this. by this logic i could say that you should always the best way to make a woman orgasm is to choke her with your belt because I've had sex with a woman who liked that. (btw, Anon, if you read that last sentence and got all huffy that I'm recommending that feel free to smack your self with your keyboard, clearly you're an idiot.)

2. so the video's were part of the Tantra video series? oh good. for a minute i was worried that a complete idiot would take Tantra, a practice that aims to spiritually liberate followers from ignorance and to rebirth via ritual and personal connection, and focus solely on the sexual aspect of it in order to make a quick buck and a new form of kink.

3. back to the why so critical. i suppose one of my biggest pet peeves are people who claim to be experts on something when they have no business doing so. you don't have to be a "man whore"to be an expert, but you do have to do research. point in being, one part of the video he actually states that the "dimples" on a woman's back indicate whether woman can squirt or not when the fact is that it has nothing to do with anything. to imply that a woman cannot squirt unless she is skinny enough to have said dimples proves that he has no idea what he's talking about. (anyone who frequents Pornohub.com could tell you that. hehehe)

4. ok, this is my favorite part. usually you can tell when someone is truly inept when they attempt to try and drive their point home by attempting to evoke sympathy while feebly insulting you and a group of innocent by standers. allow me to walk through this one:"I can't believe how fucking critical people are on the net (don't be so mean). How bout you put up a video series (you big jerk) of you and your boyfriend (who is also gay) and everyone can sit back and make dumb comments about you (so take that.)"

One thing i do like about our friend Anon is that he actually managed taunt me by saying that people would leave dumb comments on something of mine while simultaneously leaving the dumbest comment that this blog has ever seen.

(btw, why would someone who's supposedly gay be watching vids about making women squirt?)


Sunday, May 10, 2009

Smother's Day

i happy mother's day to all you mo'fos. (incidently, it's also my birthday, but my family combined my bithday with mothers day, so my day is shared with thee otheer people.)

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Friday, May 08, 2009

almost convinent

shopping at a 24 hour walmart at 2am does have it's benifits, no lines or ugly children. but you do get your fair share of odd looks when you're asking them to open up the garden centter so you can buy a plant for mothers day two days early.

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