Don't Mind Me, Just Bored...

Exile

Reclaimed

Ever fall in love with a song that embodies your love for someone else? Ever lose that love and the song with it?

while i don't need to go into details, needless to say this song was lost to me. but as with all things lost, it was eventually found again. it turns out that i put the song on my MP3 player and forgot about it. i guess i had put it on my MP3 player and forgot about it (the song and the player), but now that I'm working I've become reacquainted with my MP3 player and this song:



the first few time i heard it on the player i couldn't stop thinking of her. i knew how she felt about the song, in my mind i could see her fucking to it again...

with everything taken from me, i refused to give this up. so when the song came up i wouldn't skip, wouldn't tune it out.

while the empty place where my heart once was still aches on occasion, i can now listen to the song, and enjoy the music.

Exile

Nerdism Embeded

I decided to add some new songs to my MP3 player to tune out the scilence of working till 2am. now, when i say new, i use the term very loosely, the music on my laptop is anything but new.

but, it did lead me to discover something new about an old song...

We've all heard the song Weapon Of Choice by Fatboy Slim...
yes, yes you have, but you probably remember it as "that song in the video with Christopher Walken dancing."

here's a little refreasher for you:



when this song originally came out it was on the radio all the time, so often was it on that it became as familar as the hum of the truck's engine it's self. in fact it's been forever since i've acctually listened to the words, but having it on my MP play exposed me to a chrous unbeknowst to me.

about mid song, right before Mr. Walken dances infront of the mirrors there's is a chrous that struck me familiar...

it goes: "walk without rythum, and it won't attract the worm..."

the first time i dismissed it as giberish
the second time my ear was pricked
the third got the gears turning
and before another repitition i remembered where it was from...



My inner nerd resonated like a tuning fork at this

yes, i read Dune, and i knew the ways of the desert...


Exile

Enjoy Your VD

Two songs to capture the evening...

Sometime Around Midnight - The Airborne Toxic Event

(every time i hear this song it grabs me, pulling me in.)

Love Me Dead- Ludo

(everytime i hear this, it reminds me of what it was all about.)

Pain- Three Days Grace

(This life is filled with hurt, when happiness doesn't work...)




Exile

A Slight Distraction

Well, for someone who didn't have work i sure was busy. here are the events that followed the humping condoms post:

-I did yard work at my parents house on Thursday, it was the earliest I've woken up in weeks and i spent the whole day trimming trees, bushes, and palm trees with four inch needles. (i hate those things). To top it off it kept raining on and off, not enough to stop working, but enough to make the ladder very slippery.

-Friday i woke up with a severe respiratory infection, ever since i got back from the ER with grandma i was feeling sickish, and it finally took hold. "luckily" because i had the week off of work i took care of things real quick like. got into the urgent care, got my meds, picked up my prescriptions, and got back on the road to healthy. (i put luckily in quotes because that's the only positive thing i can get out of missing a week's worth of f'n pay.

-On my way home from the urgent care i stopped by Petco (a pet store chain) to use up a store credit on some expendable fish. here's what happened after twenty minutes of waiting for service:
Employee- Can i help you?
Exile- yeah, i would like to buy some fish
Employee- Is your tank already established?
Exile- Of course (this is a novice question, it means has the tank been running long enough to support fish)
Employee- did you have fish in there before?
Exile- yeah, they didn't last, i'm hoping these one will.
Employee- they didn't last? what did you have in there with them?
Exile- a few Barbs (a type of fish) and a turtle (a type of turtle.)
Employee- and you're trying to put fish in with a turtle?
Exile- well, sometimes you can get fish and turtles to live together.
Employee- No you can't.
Exile- actually...
Employee- (interrupts) NO YOU CAN'T.
Exile- What? I've...
Employee- (interrupts a story of my boy hood about turtle/fish cohabitation) No sir.
Exile- You're not going to sell me a fish?
Employee- No. (with contempt) The only fish i would sell you is a feeder goldfish.

With that she walked away... So i just went down the street to the next Petco and bought the fish i wanted.

-Saturday and Sunday were spent doing some gaming and hanging out with the girl from the bowling alley (we both have insomnia). while the things with the girl went alright, the gaming put me only 12 trophies behind Gary! And that just happens to be the amount of trophies in the new Penny Arcade Adventures Game. (Exile is closing in).

-On Monday i showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to put in some major work at work (my job is redundant and so is the description) only to find out that they're cutting all over time. now, seeing as though my survival is based solely on the extra cash from overtime (i get about six hours worth a week). So with short week before, the week off last week, and now not getting overtime... i'm pretty screwed.

-tomorrow i'm going to have to square off with my Chiropractor about money she owes me. Remember me talking about running fliers and such? yeah, well, she owes me for $170 for the work i did in September and October. all through November and December i've called all three phone lines, mailed invoices, and slipped them under the door, and delivered them in person to the receptionist. it's been too long to assume she's simply "forgotten" to call me back, so now i have to go down there and demand payment. And with my money situation, i can't walk out of there without it.



On A Positive Note:
I played Buzz: Quiz TV (a PS3 game) and managed to get over 5000 points on the single player match by answering 20 questions correctly each one under a second. (ba ba BOOM!)


and now, a happy song.



Exile

hehehe

Exile

I'm Drowning

as i fall overboard, i am left wondering if you would reach into the darkness to save me? or would you just smile knowing that you pushed me?



into the ocean end it all
into the ocean end it all



Exile

Dead Space

I don't even have words for how awesome this game is.

Aliens and your worst nightmare?
A first person horror movie?
Evil?

The game is called Dead Space, and there is no way to play this without being on the edge of your seat...

here's a little taste for you


the game is like this, every step of the way, corpses that just won't die, and video records from the crew of this god forsaken space station surround you.

the lucky ones died first.



Exile

Meanwhile At Work

so, lately the new Offspring song has been playing a lot on the radio, and i have to admit, I'm a huge fan.

if you haven't heard it, here's the vid (and of course, the vid doesn't have anything to do with the song, but still cool.)




and now, the conversation at work between me and a coworker:

Exile- *working at his desk Humming* hey, Coworker have you heard that new song "You're Gonna Go Far Kid"?
Coworker- Who sings it?
Exile- Offspring
Coworker- Who's that?
Exile- You don't know who Offspring is?
*at this point Doug walks in*
Exile- Doug, do you listed to Offspring?
Doug- *rolls eyes* dude, i don't even listen to my own offspring.


Exile




Exile

This Commercial Has Been Giving Me The Creeps For Weeks

Exile

Something Horrible Is About to Happen...

And Horrible is definitely a good thing.

Sprinkles turning me on to this earlier this week and it's become one of those "you so have to watch this" things with me. I've been telling everyone about it too, it's hi-larious!

the basic plot to the story is this: Dr. Horrible is a love sick aspiring super villain complete with arch Nemeses, Captain Hammer, a super powered Jock. Dr. Horrible's two driving forces are to join the Evil League Of Evil and to win the woman of his dreams (and who hasn't been there, right?)

Now, i have to admit, i empathise with Dr. Horrible. When you watch the first song in Act One you'll get what I'm talking about, just imagine Exile in Goggles...

and, well, you get the idea.

This is something you must check out (see, I'm telling everyone!) the official website is http://www.drhorrible.com/. FYI the vids will only be on the the regular site until sunday night at midnight. after that you'll have to either buy the DVD's, download it on iTunes, or watch bootleg copies on the internet (like everyone else).

i was going to post the vids from Youtube, but the sound is off by half a second and it was driving me insane, so you'll have to settle for just the trailer (i can't do all the work in this relationship, now can i?)



Are You Ready For Something Horrible?*



(*this is not the official tag line, but i thought it was cool)



Exile

Ugly Baby

so, i'm at work talking with one of the Techs (the only girl tech in the entire company), and the subject of babies come up:

Tech- Babies are so cute.
Exile- if you say so
Tech- you don't think babies are cute?
Exile- i've seen my share of ugly ones.
Tech- (offended) What? all babies are beautiful!
Exile- i beg to differ
Tech- you're a liar
Exile- i am not. i have seen some ugly ass babies. (turning to someone else in the lab) Hey Wilbert, have you ever seen a baby and said 'damn, that's any ugly ass baby'?
Wilbert- um, yeah... yeah, i've seen some ugly babies.
Tech- you're both horrible
Exile- ask anyone, some babies are just plain ugly.
Tech- THEY ARE NOT! they're beautiful and they smell wonderful.
Exile- they're loud wrinkled little people with bags of shit strapped to them. ma'am, our views of beauty differ.
Tech- you should never be allowed to have children
Exile- can i get that in writing?

after that conversation abruptly ended i took an impromptu survey of parents around the office, they all have kids, and they all have seen their share of ugly babies.

we all know how much i adore children *vomits silently in mouth* but there are some babies that are so damn ugly they belong in jar.

it's a fact.





Exile

For The Dark Little Monster In Us All (Have Fun Little Guy)

I was going to write something profound about the intrinsic nature of love and human nature... but i think this video speaks for it's self, hehehe



i absolutely love this song...
and I'm pretty fond of the girl that sent it to me too


Exile

Don't Listen To Professionals, They Don't Know What They're Talking About

My arm is complete...
My addiction is fed...

Exile Industries is back on-line and fully operational!
(well, as operational as it can be.)

after way too frigg'n long, i finally have the Internet set up at home again. (i missed you RedTube!)

So check this shizzle out:
-the cable was to be installed Saturday (between the hours of 9am and 12pm.)
-I woke up at promptly nine and promptly remembered i was drinking the night before and promptly fell back to sleep.
-10:00am i get a call that they're at the gate, i tell them to wait with a mouth full of hangover sludge
-i headed down and found one guy trying to climb over the gate, but it wasn't going very well.
-they kept forgetting their stuff

when it came to "question time" the guy got really dismissive with me like i was a tech noob. these were the bone's of contention
1. he kept referring to the "Ethernet cable" as a "Cat 9 cable" i knew they were one in the same but when he said I'd have to buy one (while he was holding one in his hand) my hangover made me doubt my self.
2.he asked if the cable was running through my closet, i showed him where it was. then asked if he was going to need to knock any holes in my walls like the last guy did and he scoffed like i was the village idiot.
3. they rigged up the router by just laying it and the cables all over the TV in my room (it looked like crap).
4. i asked him if i could use my old wireless router, he told me "no way, Verizon routers are too advanced". i ask if he was sure, the set up was the same, and he basically told me that i don't' know what I'm talking about and that i should go out and buy a new one. i tried to debate it, saying that the router has the proper connections and all that. he gave me the "do what ever you want" look and gave me my receipt.

that is one of my biggest pet peeves when someone treats me like i don't' know what I'm doing...


So i decided to set up the router with my router my way...


oh, wait, what's this?

let's go top to bottom...
power light- on
either net (Cat 9) Input- on
Internet connection status- ON MOTHER FUCKER!

(the light at the bottom is for the wifi signal, but that's always on if the router is working, which it does even without Internet. so I've been able to print wirelessly even without the Internet... but i digress).

ON, the Internet is running through their router, through mine, and working like a a fucking dream.

that's right, don't you try and out nerd me, or I'll shove that CAT 9 right up your Ethernet Port, bitch.



Exile

Chuck Norris Facts, Bitch

Have you ever heard the Chuck Norris Facts before?



well, after a long debate and discussion at work i started working on my own list of Chuck Norris facts
(seriously, i don't know why they pay me.)

so, with out further delay...

Exile Industries: Department Of Chuck Norris Facts



When chuck Norris uses the Total Gym, the machine sweats.




while it is assumed that if you fired a bullet at Chuck Norris he could stop
it with his bare hands. unfortunately we can never know this for sure seeing
as though Chuck Norris would kill you before the gun ever went off.



bullet proof vests are made of Kevlar and strands of Chuck Norris' beard.



Q: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck?
A: As much as Chuck Norris will allow.



when Chuck Norris goes dives in to the ocean Tsunami warnings are issues.
not because of the splash, be cause the water is running from him.



with a single kick, Chuck Norris can stop a train... FROM EXISTING!




Chuck Norris can do anything you can do with his arms tied behind his back.



The only person who could write Chuck Norris's biography is Stephen
Hawkings.



With a single punch, Chuck Norris can not only break the sound barrier, he
destroys it.



of course, i had to throw some props to my friend Doug, who wasted his day thinking up facts with me. here's Doug's List:

Chuck Norris's fist have their own gravitational pull, so he doesn't
actually throw a punch, you come to his fist.



Chuck Norris keeps his beard short by fear.



the only think Chuck Norris fears is another Chuck Norris




Exile

Different Paths

I don't believe in destiny.
I don't believe in fate.
nor do I believe in serendipity, kismet, or any other way you put it.

What I do believe is that our lives follow different paths. some paths start from birth (like being born in a third world country), and some are caused by outside sources (like being crippled in a car accident.)

some paths can be changed (drug addicts can go to rehab).

but there are some paths that can never change, like the path of becoming a parent (no matter what you do, for the rest of your life you are a parent.)

with all these paths that shape who and what we are, some of us have life paths. A life path is one where everything you do, every choice you make, every direction you move, will ultimately end the same way.

sometimes, and it's rare, you get a glimpse where your path will lead you. I've seen where my path leads, my path paved in pain and sorrow. and while I don't have the clairvoyance to see all the twists and turns of my path, I can see where it ends. it ends in disease and solitude, an old man who's body, the infernal machine that it is, finally gives out on him. a life time of solitude who's only companionship is regret.

this is not something I want.
this is not something that I choose (I mean, who would?)
this is just the way it is.

When Hella and I met out paths crossed. the paths entwined and for a moment, the appeared to merge like two lovers lost in a passionate kiss.

in that moment, I could see a new end to the path. an end where hella becomes the mother to a larger family, where she embraces life and passionately loves the man who cooks her breakfast every Sunday.

and for a moment I could taste it.
I could taste this impossible outcome.
I wanted it all for my own.

so I gripped my claws deep into her path and rooted my self in. I denied my set outcome and chose hers instead. I could see that her heart was closed and I knew that I was the one to open it. I thought that if I showed her what true love was I could fuse our paths together, I could be the one that would be with her...

but as I said, our paths were crossing
as I said, they seemed to merge

while her path was this beautiful thing full of hope and beauty, my path was still there, dark, over grown with thorns. I was being so greedy with keeping her and I together that I didn't see the pain I was causing her, I wanted to walk her path, but instead I was dragging her down mine, thorns and all.

when out paths crossed, I had a role to play, a simple and temporary role. I was there to awaken her sleeping heart and expose her beauty to the light. I was also there to show her just how strong she was.

I taught her to see her self as I did, as a wonderful mother and a beautiful person.
I taught her that she's stronger than she's ever given herself credit for.

I played my role, but I didn't want to give it up. I wanted to bask in her beauty and warm my self in the glow of her heart.

but it turns out my role had one last part to play out, I had one last thing to show her.

I had to show her that she deserved better than what life had given her and that she didn't need to settle.

she didn't need to settle for relationships with guys who didn't' appreciate her.
she didn't' need to settle for jobs that didn't respect her.
and she didn't need to settle for a boyfriend who wasn't there for her...

in spite of how hard I tried, in spite of my best efforts, my path was keeping us apart. A sickly father, a condo turned mill stone, 3,000 miles, what ever you want to pick as an excuse, I am not there, and I don't know how long it would take for me to get there.

This is where our paths begin to split. see, I have been alone my whole life. solitude and anger have become the walls which line my path. for me, a phone call from beautiful girl telling me that she truly loves me was more than I had ever had and more than I could ever dream possible. But for Hella, this was not a happy situation, for while it was bliss when we were together, the longing was utter sorrow and pain.

the longer I stayed on her path, the longer I held her there in her sorrow.





Monday night, Hella told me it was over.
she told me that she couldn't do this any more, that the distance was too much.

"It's killing me that i cant' hold your hand, or see you when i want to"

She said there were other reasons too, things she said she had forgiven me for:
-Not telling my parents she had a son until they found out themselves. it was part of my plan for my parents to see her as my girlfriend, not as a single mom. (they carry the old stigma of "single mom's are out to find new daddy's" and this wasn't the case)
-When we first started dating Hella told me that it bothered her to think of me being with anyone else (my past), so she told me she didn't want to know about any of it. it had come up before, but she always said "she didn't' want to know". Well before we were together i had been with quite a few people (22 to be exact). while most of them were friends with benefits or one-night-stands, some of them were friends. I happen to still be friends with one of these people, but i didn't tell her. (she asked me not to). so when she found out she felt betrayed

but it doesn't matter any more...
Monday night was the first time we said goodbye without saying "I love you," and end of always and forever

It's time for me to return to my path, a path i walk alone.





Oh, i guess it's Thrusday too, so i guess i should throw up an HNT too...

this was me waking up friday at 3am

it was the fourth day waking up that early for my four "twelve hour days"


i wasn't getting much sleep then, and that hasn't changed much



Exile

Haiku Fridays

it's been a long week
counting down makes it longer
but so exciting

yelled at by my boss
"you best isn't good enough"
teach me to be late

Day eight accomplished
sent Hella a saucy pic
oh, speaking of which...


click here

Friday, February 8th– Send your partner a Saucy picture of your self (extra points for sending it on their phone while they’re still at work.)



(i shot the pic while at work, but no extra points, i sent it on my way home)


and now for something completely random...


Exile

Just A Hint

click here


Sunday, February 3rd- make a hand-made Valentine’s day gift. You can save it till the day, but feel free to drop a few hints.


So here's are three hints for you Hella *muah*:










Exile

Parenting

Exile

Just A Cool Vid

Man, and to think of all the things that i've been doing with my hands, when i could have been doing so much else...






Exile