The 14 Day VD Treatment

T-Minus 13 days till i see the woman i love
T-Minus 14 days till Valentines Day

and as you can see by my HNT i'm very excited

(i cropped out the part of the picture that showed just how excited, hehehe)

This Valentines Day is a special one for us, for while it isn't Our First Valenentines Day, it is the first one that we will get to spend together!

And since last Valentine's Day the only thing that's changed since then is that i love Her even more.

So to celebrate this momentus occation I've decided to try something that we can all join in on. I call it...




here's the way this little game is played, every day until Valentine's Day you must complete the Daily Treatment listed below, then you post your progress on your blog.

The 14 Day VD Treatment

Friday, February 1st– first thing you do, when you first wake up, on the first of this month is to ask your partner if they’ll be your Valentine. If you’re in a relationship you usually don’t ask, so today you absolutely should.

Saturday, February 2nd– Write a poem about one of your partner’s body parts, pick a good one

Sunday, February 3rd- make a hand-made Valentine’s day gift. You can save it till the day, but feel free to drop a few hints.

Monday, February 4th- take a picture of yourself giving your partner a kiss, with a note reminding them that you’re all theirs this Valentines Day.

Tuesday, February 5th– leave a hidden note for your partner somewhere telling them how you feel. A post-it note in their car. A letter taped to the bathroom mirror, or somewhere else that you know they check on a daily basis.

Wednesday, February 6th– leave a dirty message on their voicemail. Make it hot enough that you know they’ll store it for a while.

Thursday, February 7th– Sex Shop HNT- Make a purchase at your local Sex-shop, then take a picture in the store. Post the picture of you in the store on your blog with a hint that they’re going to get a present on Valentines Day. (You don’t have to give away what you’re buying if it’s a surprise)

Friday, February 8th– Send your partner a Saucy picture of your self (extra points for sending it on their phone while they’re still at work.)

Saturday, February 9th– write a dirty letter to your partner; show them how smutty your mind can be.

Sunday, February 10th– do a cell phone strip tease. The first picture will be in the morning wearing something. The next picture will be in the afternoon wearing less; the third picture will be at night wearing hardly anything at all.

Monday, February 11th– give your partner a detailed shopping list of saucy things you intend be doing this Valentines Day. Go into gratuitous detail.

Tuesday, February 12th– Send your partner some porn on-line. Extra points for sending them pics or vids that would go with the list you made yesterday.

Wednesday, February 13th– Make dinner for your partner. It doesn’t have to be anything terribly fancy. Just a meal with a little note that tells them how you feel, and what you have planned for dessert *wink*.

Thursday, February 14th– being Valentines Day, it’s only fair that you post a tandem HNT picture. Show off your love. After that, make with the Snu-snu



Now then, once you've completed the day's task, give everyone an update on your blog. if you'd like, you can even use one of these snazzy buttons to seperate your regular blogging from the Daily Treatments.



Copy and paste the code below into you blog to get this cool button!
<a href="http://exileindustries.blogspot.com/2008/01/14-day-vd-treatment.html"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2070/2231776381_90e8ed74fd_m.jpg" width="240" height="148" alt="The 14 Day VD Treatment" /></br>click here</a>


here's the code for a smaller version of the same button
<a href="http://exileindustries.blogspot.com/2008/01/14-day-vd-treatment.html"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2070/2231776381_90e8ed74fd_m.jpg" width="100" height="62" alt="The 14 Day VD Treatment" /></a>


Feel free to drop by my comments section to let everyone know when you're done with each treatment!








Exile

Random Memory: Look'n For Treasure

Back in the day...
Waaaaay back in the day, i used to go look'n for treasure.

I was about 18/19 years old my friend Peter introduced me to something that he started a year before... Throwing Bread


Throwing Bread?
throwing Bread.
Throwing Bread?
no ya perv, just Throwing Bread.

allow me to explain so you can understand...
OK, allow me to just explain, i don't know if you'll understand.

See, grocery stores have a policy that when bread gets old they throw it out. but the new to old bread ratio in your average grocery story means that they have to throw out a lot of this old bread. when it comes to the employment system of grocery stores, the average cart monkey doesn't really like their job (shocking). so in order to do their half ass job in a half ass manner (quarter ass?), they cut corners. One such corner is when it's midnight and it's their turn to throw out the old bread. so instead of taking it out and throwing it in a dumpster they will often just fill up a shopping cart and push it behind the store to feed the homeless (community service in action.)

This is where Peter and I enter the story.

Peter found out about this useless fact and realized that this was too damn weird to pass up. so he thought "what could i use this for..." thus an Epiphany was reached.

late at night, peter would set out and reclaim this forsaken bread and, well throw it. but the thing was, Peter didn't want to do anything "bad" so we would always throw the bread on his friend's lawns. we'd set out ever weekend and do this (obviously neither of us were getting laid). we'd hit someones house and put the bread (while still in the bags) all over the place. hang it from the door handles, on car antenna's, and if you had mail box we'd stuff it full.

Then, one night, there was no bread, not one store had bread... but we continued on, eventually we started looking behind other types of stores, looking for other stuff...

We were looking for Treasure!

you'd be amazed what's behind these stores.
oh sure, there are urine stained couches, urine stained mattresses, and urine stained urine (it's urine-errific!). but there there's other stuff.

Behind different pet stores i found a perfectly good fish tank which i used to hold rats for herb (when he wasn't hungry), and even a really big ass tank that i rebuilt to hold Herb!

(you wondered where i got that big bastard of a tank from, didn't ya?)

Then one Saturday night, we found the mother load!
Behind the local Ralph's, we found what seemed like an infinite supply of Cinnamon Rolls! imagine it, Two by Three aluminum trays with clear tops full of Cinnamon Rolls. we loaded the car to capacity with these things, the trunk, the back seat, all the way to the roof! we decided that the person to be blessed with this mess would be a Girl named Stacey. Stacey went to high school with Peter, she had a huge crush on him but he was too much of nerd to realize it, so we decided to build a fort of Cinnamon rolls around around her car. (like i said, we had a lot of these things)

a week later I met up with Peter, he printed out the e-mail and read it to me (I'll paraphrase, it's been almost 10 years):

Dear Peter,

Awwwwww, you guys are the sweetest things ever! i can't believe you bought all those Cinnamon Rolls for us, and right before our big church outing too!

Thank you and your friend so much for getting all those for us. Everyone loved them.

Hugs and squishes,
Stacey

yep...

Peter confessed to her that he didn't buy them, but whether she ever told the church we'll never know...






Exile

Unique

i guess we're all unique


Exile

The Meaning Of Forever

Lately this song has been playing on the radio with ominous regularity

Death Cab For Cutie: I Will Follow You Into The Dark
(the video is at the bottom)

every time i hear it, i think of Hella.
I think of her and i think of the meaning of forever

to me, always and forever is not an empty promise. it's not something to say instead of "i love you".

to me it's a reaffirmation of a promise, a promise that my heart will belong to one person and one person only.

dedication
commitment
love

these are things i don't take lightly.

but the focus of the song is not of staying together forever, but rather the other side of always and forever. the side that reminds us of the truth that while love is eternal, we are not.

I've said to her before that "i don't want a life without you," but the truth is that i don't think i could survive a life without you... and really, i wouldn't want to.

I love you Hella, always and forever




Exile

Haiku Fridays

On this VD Trip
showing her more of Cali
then just my bedroom

Hella had homework
"make a sightseeing list
we'll hit Hollywood!"

She didn't' do it
Bad Girl! getting a spanking...
probably like it

HNBC- Half Nekk'ed Butt Crack

On the phone with Hella:

Exile- so what are you up to tonight?
Hella- nothing much, i just posted my HNT
Exile- Oh yeah?
Hella- mmmhmmmm, you should go check it out
Exile- i intend to
Hella- what are you doing for your HNT?
Exile- ummmm... i haven't even thought of anything... What do you think i should do?
Hella- Do you remember the one you did with Moe and your bum?
Exile- Yeah
Hella- I liked that
Exile- i see, well if you have any more specific ideas txt them to me

A Txt message that quickly followed that conversation:
"i think U should show some fine tushy 4 HNT..."

well, you know i'm always happy to oblige'
(especially when i can't think of something to do for HNT...)

So this HNT, i thought i'd just take hella's advice, turn around, and show off my AXE!



So, why the Axe you ask?

Well, this Christmas, Hella bought me some Axe Body spray and whispered "this particular smell... it does something to me..."

needless to say, i used it every day i was there, hehehe


now... let us all do the Humpty Dump



Exile

I'd Do Anything For You

Haiku Fridays

Spent six twenty five
'sposed to have my truck fixed
"check light" just came on

recooped from boarding
made for a good HNT
sixteen comments, wow!

work was hell today
but i'll have Hella fun soon
Four weeks and counting






Exile

HNS- Half Nekk'ed Snowboarder

Last weekend I went snowboarding, and let me say, i needed it.

two years without snowboarding had made me a bit... crazy?



(this was part of an original idea for an HNT where i was going to wear all my snowboard gear including an old pair of goggles and ear-muff thing.)


Snow boarding for me is my little slice of zen. from the first moment i ride the chair lift up and sail through the trees i just feel at ease


when I'm carving i don't have a problem in the world. even if my legs are sore, my back is aching, and my toes are frozen, the only thing i concentrate on is carving my way through the obstacles littering the slopes (aka, beginners)




now, it might be a combination of demeanor and posture, but i personally think that i look my "coolest" when I'm boarding.



of course, there's something to be said for being off the slopes too, hehehe



HHNT




Exile

What The Truck?

Yeah... so remember when i fixed my alternator?


yeah, well, that was just the tip of the shit-berg...


I dropped my truck off at the shop yesterday, and i got a call from the mechanic today...

One Oil Change (synthetic)
Eight Spark Plugs ($9 bucks a pop)
One New Spark Plug wire set ($90)
One fuel filter
One random oil spewing gasket
One air filter
A bunch of extra work
And One full blown exorcism

Yeah...
just Seven Hundred Measly dollars and three days later and i get my truck back


the sad thing is that my truck isn't even worth $700 dollars...
just don't tell her that (she's sensitive)




Exile

Snow-blogging

It was the 1st time in 2 year & i rocked that mountian!

i also took a this kid with me & had him rideing like a pro.

i had a blast

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Haiku Fridays

Do you see the pic?
six A.M., my truck broke down
stranded in the cold



Bad alternator
my dad and i fixed it up
didn't go to work



i did get lucky though
Alt was under warranty
replaced it for free!






Exile

HNS- Half Nekk'ed Sitter

As you may remember, a few posts back i mentioned that i was going to reform a bit from hating children. (click here)

but for the gist of the previous policy on children, please see the illustration below.



So a big step forward in reform is to face that which stands in the way. so I've decided to face down he fear aspect of the hatred i have for children.

Step 1, Babies.

i did some research on this, and it turns out that children actually come from babies. and babies, amazingly enough, come from vagina's.

seeing as though I'm a fan of vagina's i figure that i should be able to ease my way into the concept of being around babies, right?

So far I've had two chances to test my mettle

Recently my friend Gordon had a baby... well, his wife did

This is Gordon and Sabrina

(Gordon is the one with the goatee)

so after a great deal of nervousness and a command by a woman who just had a "C-section" i actually did it. the first time in nearly six years

i held a baby!


after i pulled this off, i immediately called Hella to tell her so she'd be proud of me!
(of course, my flesh was crawling)

it was weird, her head was like a hot peach, but she was only a few hours old, so guess it's normal.


then someone else i popped out a kid!

So, with hella at my side, i fortified my self and...

Held another baby!



That's two! Two babies, and held the shit out of them!

i so rock!



Exile

A Year In Review

2008 is upon us, and oddly enough, this year is feeling unusually natural. it's true, i have yet to accidently write the date as 2007. (writing the wrong year is something i usually do all the way through the month of January)


now, normally, when i look back at the year i usually see it with a general melaze laced with lament. but not this year...

this year had something special about, something that i haven't had in what feels like forever...

i had someone to love.


Hella has made this year one of the best years i've ever had.

-2007 started the way a good year should, kissing the girl of my dreams at exactly 12:01 am.

-In March we we had our 1st visit of 2007.
it was a trip of firsts for Hella, 1st time with sushi, 1st time at Coldstone, and her first footsteps on a California beach.

-In May Hella and I had our Florida Trip. This trip i felt was a very important one for me, it was my first time i really got to know Hella's monkey. i also got to spend my birthday with my girlfriend. so worth it.

-August was the vegas trip that nearly didn't happen. My work was resisting my request for time off (even though i was willing to take the time off without pay). but at the last min my boss gave me the time off and i had one of the best family vacations ever! sitting pool side with my girlfriend drinking wiht my family. that's a vacation right there.

-hella's Surprise B-day!. This trip was not only the biggest thing i've ever pulled off, but it was also the most fun ever! of course, it did take me fibbing to hella for over a month, but luckily i had some help from her friends.
Here's the never before seen clip of hella's surprise!
(yes, it's sideways, but i never got a copy of the "good video"... below the vid is what she's reading on the card)

Read along with Hella:

Your big “Three O” birthday is here at last,
Time to look to the future and move on from the past.
Your friends have all gathered in a celebration of you,
Of everything you’ve done and everything you do.

This year your birthday is going to be a special one,
With a dash something really super duper extra fun.
And if this “something” happens to take away your breath,
Just be sure to thank Hollz, your Mom, and Elizabeth

This little poem isn’t just a means to deliver some mush,
It’s also a crafty device to delay you a touch.
I’ve made you wait long enough to tell you this…

inside the card:
Turn around for your birthday kiss!

-Our Christmas Trip.
This is the most recent trip, and it was our 1 year anniversary! yep, December 27th 2007 I told Hella that i loved her, and the best part was that she said it back.
The trip started out a tad unnerving what with an hour wait in the airport for a box i brought with me on my flight, and one box that was supposed to show up in the mail. but everything worked out, the airport found hella's move-in present (a sleek new office chair) and the box i mailed showed up on the 27th.

see... when you travel on an airplane they get real touchy about traveling with liquids, and one of hella's x-mas presents was a snowglobe with our pictures inside. not to mentions some lotions, potions, and a spray can full of vanilla scented glitter!

we opened all of our x-mas presents we set out to spend our anniversary together doing the things that all couples should be doing... enjoying each other. we also went out to dinner, can you say Teppanyaki?


Saturday was the big move, and you know i got to see something that really surprised me. Hella called all her friends to help her moved, AND THEY ALL SHOWED UP! not only that, they acctually stayed and helped her unpack. this totally blew my mind! See here, in Cali, if you ask ten people to help you move, you'll be lucky if you see five. and good luck if you think anyone is going to stick around to help you unpack. I tell ya, it was really touching to see friends that devoted to eachother *sniffle*

I also got a chance to meet Baby Mason,

and hella was quick to kiss those toes.

... then New Years rolled around and Hella got smashed (and so did Hollz camera).


New Years day we kissed our goodbyes and Hella ran off with another man

(it's ok though, he's working for me!)

Sigh, with our x-mas trip over i guess it's back to bussiness as usual...


atleast... until our next trip, hehehe



Now, i know i'm a bit late, but Os had asked to post our favorite HNT pic from 2007, but i for me i dont' have a favorite pic, but a favorite project...

The video i made for her birthday.




I also i wanted to give mad props to all the bloggers who stuck with me through this year of senseless ramblings. i tell ya, i wouldn't want to to go to hell with anybody else but you guys.


(you all remember that you were nominated, right?)

and what does 2008 hold for all of you out there in blogger land?

How's about...

-Exile Interviews
-Semi-Regular Postings
-HNT Requests
-Spell Checking

oh, and probably a little taste of the Appocolypse...


Which Survivor of the Impending Nuclear Apocalypse Are You?
A Rum and Monkey joint.

brains any one?








Exile

Haiku Fridays

Back in town again
a wonderful Hella trip
too short like always

unfortunately,
i got sick on the first day
it's lasted till now

a cold and "gut-rot"
sigh... food goes in, food goes out
(hence the lack of posts)







Exile