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Exile Industries: Department of Redundancy Department

Monday, December 03, 2007

Monkey For Sale

Here at Exile Industries we have had a long standing policy:
Unattended Children will be sold as slaves


This policy has served us quite well.

recently we have attempted to branch out selling monkeys as well.

Take this unit:
baby monkey
This one was a real bargain! the small hands make it great for industrial work and the prehensile tail has unlimited possibilities in most automotive industries.


unfortunately, recently, this "child black market" or as we like to call it "child African American market" has hit a bit of a snag.


here's the skinny...
see, I've been "joking" about trading Hella's Monkey in for a puppy for a while now. I've even made a few good cases for trading him in for a puppy:

1. Puppies eat less
eating

2. Puppies are cleaner
messy

3. Puppies are easier to train
psycho monkey


but Hella's stance has been quite firm on the subject:
coloringnot equal toboxer puppy

*pout*

So, i wasn't that serious about trading him in for a puppy (right?). but what i didn't realize is that little 5-year-old monkeys have a bit of a hard time telling the difference between joking and "for-real-zies".

i found this out the hard way when the last time i saw him he asked his "Mummy" all sadding if she was really going to let me trade him in for a puppy...



So... I guess I'll turn over a new leaf, so starting now Exile Industries will be opening a new division:

Uncle Exile's Child Impound And Containment Center

yes, as a means to make up for past transgressions, Exile will span time with one special monkey to bring a little joy.
fun with the monkey

can't you see the joy?
fear


and who knows, with the proper amount of time and training, the kid might just make a decent minion.
playing games





... of course, if he's a minion i might be able to trade him in for a Delorean...

(Just kidding monkey!)




good and evilor
you decide





Exile

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4 Comments:

  • I always tell my kids that if they don't behave, I'm going to sell them on Ebay. Or trade them for well-behaved children. Or a puppy.

    They get over it. :-)

    You two are adorable together.

    By Blogger Bunny, at Tuesday, December 04, 2007 10:47:00 AM  

  • Awwwwww.
    I dont know what makes you sweeter to me...your loving posts about us or the fact that you are showing that you actually aren't completly revolted by my child.
    Admit it, he is cute and he likes you a lot.......say it....say it!

    "And in hoo-ville they say...."

    I love you!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tuesday, December 04, 2007 4:01:00 PM  

  • bunny- yeah, but i've been taking offers

    hella- i'll admit it, i like your kid. but other children... hell, they'd be better off as lunch meat. (that's a vast improvement and you know it!)

    i love you too squishy

    By Blogger exile, at Tuesday, December 04, 2007 7:11:00 PM  

  • I will admit it is a vast improvement Exile.
    I am sooo very proud of you baby!

    Accomplishments dont go un-rewarded ya know!
    MUAH

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tuesday, December 04, 2007 8:36:00 PM  

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