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Exile Industries: Department of Redundancy Department

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Germ-A-Phobic Nerd And A Blast From The Past

So it's the weekend and I felt you should rock.

So first I give you the god of rock (Weird AL) Invader Zim style!

(being a germ-a-phobe I connect with this one)


As we all know, I roll rangsta style




And finally, for all you "wake n' bakers" out there I give you the greatest show that no one ever saw. Sifl And Olly!



Rock!


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Friday, September 29, 2006

Haiku Friday

"Can't save'em all,"
said Ghost Of Christmas Past.
disappointment

Trouble with Condo
a tagger in the complex.
vigilante Exile!

Time is running slow
Excited and explode-y
fourteen days to go



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

HNP- Half Nekk’ed Potter-itice

Potter-itice?

Yes, Potter-itice.

My dear friend Skookumjoe has brought to my attention a condition most foul.

I never even realize I suffered from this condition until I, innocently enough, posted my Half Scruffy Thursday post.

This is where is started. It turns out that Skookum has done some research and revealed a discovery, my pre-pubescent facial hair is actually linked to a de-habilitating disease. Click here for his research into Potter-itice.

Since the first time he shed light on this condition he's brought it back here and there. sometimes he was subtle about his finding.

But recently the evidence has become overwhelming, his last post (with the help of his offspring) confirmed that there is a direct correlation between Exile and Potter-itice.

At first I thought it was the glasses.
harry vs exile
Hell, the prescription is practically the same...

but then I saw this...
Harry Potter

I didn't think much of it at first, but under closer inspection I finally saw what Skookum had been saying...

There was a connection...
Exile Potter


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Love Slave

Her eyes opened to greet the cool morning light piercing through the blinds. She took in a deep breath to capture the scent of her lover beside her. She scooted closer to him and brushed the hair from his still sleeping face. It was her guilty pleasure to watch him sleep, but Janie knew she had to wake him. She kissed him lightly and he let out a short groggy moan.

“It’s time to wake up babe,” Janie whispered in the softest of tones. “And if you don’t get up I’m just going to keep kissing you till you do.”

Timothy cleared his throat.

“That’s not much motivation to get out of bed.” He whispered back attempting to cuddle his way past the obligations of the day.

“I know, but you need to get up.” She then kissed her way down to his neck and with a deep breath she pressed her lips to him and blew out against his skin.

After a girly yelp he was awake, and reluctantly made his way to the bathroom.

As he walked she bounded from the bed and wrapped her arms around him kissing him again.

“Hurry up sleepy,” she chirped. “I’m making breakfast!”

He turned and looked at her, her body was perfect in every way imaginable, so perfect that the line between what she was and what she wasn’t blurred.

In the kitchen, Janie tied the back of her apron began to cook the food with methodical efficiency, eggs cracked without a wayward shell shard, even the pancakes were exact replicas of one another. While it was only a meal for one, the portions were large enough for two.

She cleaned the kitchen as she cooked, making sure the counters were spotless and that everything gleamed with cleanliness. The smile on her face was the unmistakable smile of love. Everything she did, every motion, every rhythmic breath taken was centered on her love for Timothy. Her mind wandered to the night before, the dinner she cooked, the love they made. So lost in her train of thought that she didn’t even realize she knocked the spatula into the dirty dishes in the sink. The splash of the spatula reminded her that she was about to take the bacon from “perfect” to burnt. So without a second though reached into the pan, pulling each of the sizzling strips of bacon out with her bare hands.

Timothy walked in just as she pulled the last strip out of the pan.

“Oh baby, no!” Timothy exclaimed, rushing up to her.

“Careful,” she said, in her usual calm tone. “I don’t want you to burn your self.”

He grabbed her hand and led her to the sink to rinse her fingers.

“Baby,” She smiled. “You’re so sweet, but please go eat, your food is going to get cold.”

He inspected her fingers closely; there were two deep burns all the way through her fingertips, while there was no permanent damage a glint of metal could be seen through the wound.

With her unburned hand she placed her fingertips under his chin and brought his eyes to hers.

“Baby, please go eat, I will repair this as soon as you leave.” she pleaded, quickly putting two fingers to her forehead. “Scout’s honor!”

He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her deeply, something she felt was most called for. He ran his hands down her back and with all the excitement was just now realizing that she was naked under the apron.

“Still naked are we?” timothy asked as he sat down to eat.

“Of course,” she replied. “You love when I’m naked, I love you, so it only makes sense that I should always be naked for you.”

“I most definitely do,” he said finishing a bite of food. “But you’re walking around with all the blinds open.”

She turned her back to him and looked over her shoulder.

“You said I looked beautiful in the morning light.” She pushed her hands up the back of her head and through her hair. “So it only makes sense that I combine them all.”

As her hair lifted from her neck the metal on the access port at the top of her spine glinted in the light. Her hair cascaded back over the port as her arms stretched out.

He laughed as he finished another bite.

“You realize the neighbor kids will be drooling at the windows if it gets out you’re doing your own nude cooking show.” He joked, wiping his mouth with the napkin he set on the plate.


“You worry too much, besides, as long as you see me I’m happy.” She said as walked across the kitchen intending to kiss him again. “Hey, you didn’t finish…” she pouted.

“Sorry baby, but I think I overslept somehow,” he sighed. “Your time clock must be off, I’ll recalibrate you later tonight.”

“Ooooooh,” she sighed with playful seduction. “Recalibrate me baby.”

They both started to laugh as he searched for the motivation to leave for work. With a muttered growl he began walking towards the front door.

“Ok you, I’m off to work so make sure you throw some clothes on today.” He instructed.

With his hand on the doorknob he turned and kissed her again.

“You mean I can’t just lay around naked till you come home?” she giggled kissing him on the cheek.

He tried to shake his head free of naughty thoughts.

“I have way too much to do around here. Windows to wash, lawns to mow, a kitchen to clean…”

“And fingers to repair” he interrupted.

“I said I would.” She sighed. “Now scoot you.”

As the hugged their good byes she whispered into his ear the most heartfelt ‘I love you’ she could give and he returned one to her.

She stood in the doorway and watched him drive down the street, as he drove out of her line of sight she noticed one of the neighbors across the street staring at her. Without blinking, the woman just glared at Janie with contempt. Janie just smiled and closed the door, making sure to wave her naked butt at the woman.

Janie walked back into the now empty house and assessed her daily chores. Through her eyes she could see the hologram like image of the list floating in front of her. The list ran through her head as she resorted the list to her satisfaction in order to maximize her day’s efficiency. She paused her sorting for a moment then quickly moved ‘finger repair’ to the top of the list. She knew it would make him happy to know she made the repairs and making him happy was what she lived for.

Janie made a short trip around the house to hang up the apron and slipping into some clothes. She sat down in Timothy’s home office to begin repairs on her fingers. She set down the repair kit and the can of Re-gen-nex and fished around the side of the computer for her interface cable. As she pulled the cable out from behind the computer she brushed the dust off the cable. A new task appeared on her chore list, ‘dust behind computer,’ and was quickly sorted along with the rest of the tasks. As she worked on her hand the computer monitor began to cycle through all the different computer files she was accessing. At first it was her own schematic, she cycled through the pages until the screen stopped on the chapter of skin repair. She applied the Re-gen-nex to the burns a waved another lighted device over the wound. The skin began to bubble and slowly form back into the shape of her finger. As the skin finished growing back she shut off the light and examined at her fingertips.

“Perfect,” She whispered.

The computer screen quickly began jumping from web site to web site. She scanned through all the most popular women’s magazines. Cosmopolitan’s articles on “how to be a better mate,” Red Book’s article on “surprising him tonight,” she even skimmed an adult magazine or two, but they offered nothing she didn’t already know. While scanning the news paper for topics to discuss during dinner later that night she came across and article that filled her with concern. Immediately an e-mail box opened on the screen and she sent the article to Timothy’s work address. She turned to read the screen with her own eyes; she looked down at the “system update” icon and quickly closed it. Janie shut down the computer and removed the cable from her neck. A new task appeared on her chore list, it was sorted with the possible dinner topics for the evening.

She took a deep breath, and felt her mind fill with thoughts of Timothy again and any concerns she had over the article faded away. She then focused on the next task on her list. She cheerfully strolled through the hallway looking up at the pictures on the wall. She stopped and smiled at the pictures of the two of them together. She stroked his cheek in the picture recalling the moment in her memory. She replayed the video of their vacation together from her memory, she marveled at how beautiful she thought he was and it filled her with happiness. She blew the picture a little kiss and walked back into the bedroom where she flopped down on the bed and took in a deep breath, inhaling his scent. She then rolled off the bed and began pulling the sheets from the mattress. She knew he loved the feeling of fresh clean sheets, loving him the way she did even made the act of laundry blissful.

From time to time she often found herself glancing at the clocks scatter through out the house. She had her own internal clock, but regardless she checked anyways. Every day she anxiously awaited his homecoming.

After a long day of waiting, she finally heard his car pull into the driveway. This was her favorite part of the day, she knew any moment he was going to walk through that door and she could just smother him with affection. She primped her self in front of living room mirror by front door, she was already perfect, but she wanted to be sure. Her chore list reappeared and she began moving all the tasks that she didn’t finish to tomorrow, this was her time with Timothy and she didn’t want anything to distract her.

He pushed the front door open slowly only to be surprised as Janie jumped out from behind the door.

“Hi!” she exclaimed. “I missed you so much”

She threw her arms around him and squeezed him; it felt like forever since she had last seen him, even though she knew it had only been ten hours and fourteen minutes. While kissing his cheeks she realized that he wasn’t returning her affections as eagerly as usual. She scanned through her memory of the times he had behaved like this. His shoulders slumped, his breathing was heavy, and he kept burring his face in her neck. Her temperature sensors indicated no signs of fever, which led her to the conclusion that he was troubled and depressed.

She pulled his head back and looked into his eyes, her eyes welled with tears. It pained her to see him so sad, she kissed him and ran her fingers through his hair.

“Oh baby,” she whispered. “Talk to me, what’s wrong?”

Timothy pulled a crumpled print out of the e-mail she had sent him earlier that day. She stood there without moving, she scanned the article again in her memory and waited for his response.

“It’s something I knew we’d have to deal with eventually,” he sighed.

She took the briefcase from his hand and looked around the room for a place to set it. She bit her lip as she searched for the right thing to say.

“Can we discuss it after dinner?” she offered.

A pathetic smile crept past his melancholy lips as she led him to the kitchen. There on the table was the dinner she lovingly prepared, every utensil polished to a shine, everything cooked exactly to his liking.

Timothy ate slowly, chewing each bite thoroughly. While he was partly convincing himself that he was savoring the delicious meal, Timothy knew that he was really trying to prolong the inevitable. Janie just sat across from him, the empty plate in front of her was a reminder to the table’s occupants that the discussion they needed to have was still waiting. Eventually all eyes were focused on the empty plate before her.

Timothy stopped eating.

Without a word Timothy stood up and started toward his home office, he gestured for Janie to follow him, which she did. She paused at the vacation pictures on the wall and smiled, a tear tickled past her lip.

They sat down in front of the computer and powered it up.

While the hard drive clicked and hummed, Timothy reached for the cable at the side of the computer. Janie rolled her head to the side and flipped her hair over her shoulder, exposing the access port on the back of her neck. He handed her the cable and she clipped it into the access port, after a few keystrokes Timothy took his hands away from the keyboard, setting one hand on her knee.

“Could you please pull up that news article for me,” He asked, caressing her knee.

She had already stored the article in her memory, but she listened to him reread the article to her:

Technological Slavery Alive In The United States
WASHINGTON- President Clemmons signed the bill today making it illegal for any person who owns a Synthetic Human to tamper with the machine’s “Free Will Protocol” in order to misuse or mistreat the Synth.

The president also went into detail stating that misuse and mistreatment of a Synth is not limited to that of “sweat shops” and “hazardous labor,” but also to that of prostitution and degradation.

“Synths are being reprogrammed as mindless sex slaves,” The President announced to congress. “Slaves who are controlled by their very consciousness.”


Timothy trailed off and turned his attention back to Janie.

“The people they’re talking about on the news completely deleted or rewrote this code to turn their Synths into mindless slaves,” he stated.

Janie rolled her eyes.

“Is that what that old biddy across the street and her Synth-Hatingcronies think of us?” She scoffed. ““mindless… well un-lucky for you I’m anything but mindless.”

“There is something I never told you,” Timothy interjected. “Pull up your Freewill Protocol and the Default Freewill Protocol.”

She did so, placing the two windows side by side. She became instantly aware of where he was going with the conversation, but didn’t say a word. Timothy pointed to the screen to where he modified the code. Janie closed her eyes and looked away, but she could still see the screen inside her eyes.

“I didn’t take away your free will, I did tamper with it. I changed the code so that every logical decision you make will always be based on your feelings for me,” he whispered.

Janie covered her mouth as tears began to stream down her cheeks.

“I made you love me,” he confessed.

Her mind raced through millions of different thoughts and memories, everything he said was true. The way she cooked, the way she cleaned, the vacations, the sex, everything was always because how much she loved him.

“Early this morning, a patch was sent out to all Synthetic Humans as part of the daily update package to set their Freewill Protocol’s to default,” Timothy explained. “After the update you’ll have the choice to love me or not”

As she tried to regain her composure Timothy moved his hand from her knee and began moving the computer mouse. He brought up the screen for her update and moved the pointer over the update confirmation box.

“Will I…” she cleared her throat. “Will I still love you?”

“Well,” he replied, staring down at the keyboard. “I have no idea what you’ll choose, but I know I love you too much to let you go through the rest of our lives never making that decision for your self.”

Janie pulled her chair closer to Timothy’s and wrapped her arms around him, kissing him softly. She then set her head on his shoulder, running her hand down his arm. Her hand embraced his on top of the mouse, she took in a deep breath, inhaling his scent and closed her eyes.



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Busier Than A Hooker At A Sex-O-Holic's Convention

Hey kids!

Yes yes, my blog has been lacking some substance lately ("no we like seeing nothing but quizzes and videos") but they've actually been making me work!

The nerve.

Suffice to say that all this work has really cut into my screw'n around time. But fret not, in the time that I've been neglecting both work and the Ol' blog I've written a (long) short story. I should have it ready soon so quit yer bitch'n and play nice.

Until then, here's yet another blog quiz thingy.
Your Blogging Type is Artistic and Passionate

You see your blog as the ultimate personal expression - and work hard to make it great.
One moment you may be working on a new dramatic design for your blog...
And the next, you're passionately writing about your pet causes.
Your blog is very important - and you're careful about who you share it with... just like your wang.




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Monday, September 25, 2006

And Now For A Word On Jesus...




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Friday, September 22, 2006

The Funny Thing Is, I Have That Tie At Home...

You Are Fozzie Bear

"Wocka! Wocka!"
You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.
If only your routine didn't always bomb!
You may find more groans than laughs, but always keep the jokes coming.



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Friday Haiku

In a money slump
was over-drawn twice this month
first time in four years


Overcast today
this is my favorite weather
so is snow and rain


Can't put into words
The joy of being wanted
Just twenty-one days



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

HNS- Half Nekk'ed Shocker

As any good master should, I decided to give me Bitch (Misti) a little treat. So I let her pick my HNT pic for this week. She wanted me to showcase my favorite toys.

Well, I happen to have a lot, so I thought I'd show off two of them.

This is my favorite drinking/party game
Lightning Reaction
Lightnig Reaction
The way the game is played is simple.
1. Everyone takes a controller
2. The red light in the middle flashes and plays this horrid music.
3. The light turns green and you push the button on your controller.
4. If you push the button too soon or are the last one, you get zapped.
5. Everyone laughs at you for being a wussy

I also bought a new toy.
And it's so me.
Infrared Trashcan 1
That's right (say it with me) and Infrared Trash Can. Oh yes, my trash can opens and closes when I need to throw a way trash. I needed a trash can for the kitchen, and well, fuck it, I bought an infrared trash can.

And according to my inflatable monkey, I have to justify nothing!
inflateable monkey

(I hope this was somewhat what you wanted Misti.)


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

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Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Picture Perfect

Hello all my little blog-it-teers!

I have returned again because I missed you (and cause Sassy is a pain in the...)

But never the less I am here, and I bring good news, I have completed a long term project I've been working on. Let's think back shall we? way back....

That's right, after all this time, my walls are finally decked out!

Oh yes, thanks to the brilliant work of my buddy Protagonist I now have the art I've been looking for.

He sent me the pics months ago and since I started my new job I've been piecing the project together. I've been cutting corners everywhere I can to pull this off under budget.

Art Collection

The pictures were printed at Kinkos
Art Collection Inspiration Beauty

The frames were on clearance.
Art Collection Passion Contrast

Instead of Mat Board the pics are "floated" on construction paper.
Art Mounted

And I think I stole the nails from my old job...
Art Mounted 2
Art Mounted 3

I'm so stoked right now, this place is really coming together. I also bought a "stand" for my fish-tank. So the conclusion to that project will be soon (in a month or two, hehehe)


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Saturday, September 16, 2006

You Want Naked? I'll Give You Naked!

Jeez-us

I guy mentions in his Haiku Friday post that he was chasing a cricket naked and everyone is all over it!


Did we get any pics of the naked cricket chasing excursion? Thems would be priceless.
By Robyn, at Friday, September 15, 2006 1:24:04 PM

well, your resident blogmates took the question outta me mouth. where's the naked cricket chasing pics?
By mistipurple, at Friday, September 15, 2006 1:27:34 PM

Everyone here wants to see your cricket Exile!!!!!!
Including me ;P
By Hella, at Saturday, September 16, 2006 11:27:01 AM



Sheesh.

Fine, you wanna see my "naked cricket," I'll give you my "naked cricket."




Jiminy Naked

...and don't say I don't give you nuth'n!


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Friday, September 15, 2006

Dark Beauty

There's something beautiful about darkness.

Some see it as alluring
some see it as mysterious.

Personally, I think it's because it resonates with the little bit of darkness in all of us. There are always those times we feel cold or alone, cast aside. It's at these times we feel like we connect with the despondent. In those moments that little bit of darkness can actually touch someone else's. In a way, you're alone together.

So here's my little tribute to all the darklings out there...

The sally types,


and yes, even living dead girls need love too.


There is a beauty in darkness, you just have to learn how to see it.



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Friday Haiku

This was a rough week
Constant state of poopie-ness
way too much drama

The MILF neighbor called
Helped her son with his report
Renewed my kid hate.

Late night bug attack
Had to chase a cricket naked...
Not a word from you!


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

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Thursday, September 14, 2006

A Big Hairy Bone Of Contention, For The Ladies

Ok, I'm sorry girls, but this rant is directed at you.

Not all of you, but a vast majority.

The issue, your hair.

Now I know a lot of you are already thinking "hey, I shave, what are you bitch'n about?"

Yeah, I don't mean that hair. I'm talking about the hair on your head. More specifically, the hair that is no longer on your head.

That's right, I don't know if having a pussy makes you part cat or something* but seriously, you girls shed constantly. (*if you found that offensive then you're on the wrong blog.)

I first noticed it when I lived with my then-girlfriend Jody, she had beautiful long blonde hair. She took very good care of it and it was quite healthy, but every time she got out of the shower she left these "swirl-y" blonde tumble-weeds on the shower walls (to keep it out of the drain). I also remember her bathroom mat had a golden sheen from the layer of hair that was brushed out daily.

Christina also left her own hair trail, pillows, towels, clothes. Even Elena, who crashes at my place from time to time has managed to leave these strands of black hair all over my bathroom (She used it once and their everywhere...)

The most "recent offender" in the hair syndicate has been my roommate amber. Amber's hair is thick, I do mean thick. She's half black and half white, so all over the house are these foot long red hairs that you could re-string a violin with. So thick that she has, single handedly, killed my vacuum. KILLED. It didn't just over heat, it didn't plug up, it destroyed my vacuum! A vacuum, mind you, that nearly sucked the color out of the carpet and she killed it. Oh, I tried to save it, but even after I pulled nearly a pound of hair (it was that tightly wrapped in there) the poor thing couldn't even power up.
(Her hair nearly kill a cat once.)

The funny thing is that you'd think that these girls are loosing so much hair that they must be bald... Nope, full heads of hair, all of them ready to pounce on unsuspecting vacuums.

Is this what girls do? Are you claiming ownership? Instead of marking a tree you just leave strands of hair?

Don't get me wrong, your hair looks really pretty, but please keep it on your head. If this keeps up, I'm going to make hair-nets mandatory.



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

HNL- Half Nekked Last-Min-Post

Yeah, it's been a rough week, so rough I had no time for a clever pic, so I thought I'd show off a few pics of me all nice and wet.

me on seadoo
me on seadoo fast

Here's a Sea-Doo view of the world
seadoo view




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Blogg'n Laughlin Part 2 (photos)

Ok, as you recall I went to Laughlin a while back.
Exile Industries: Department of Redundancy Department: Blogg'n Laughlin
...And as it was pointed out, the only pica I had were of vertical forms of transportation. So here are the belated photos


Here's me on the bow of the boat! Yeah, we get thing nearly vertical when we're out there.
Boat

This is a shot of the cove we took over. The water was only 3 feet deep through the entire cove, so it made it kinda cool to walk out there. There were also little fish swimming all over the place.
beach


here are some close ups of the fishy's that were biting our toes, and my camera.
fishy 1
they're called Blue Gill, very playful, but spook easy
fishy 2

I will say this, there is very little in the world more "purdy" than the river right as the sun goes down.
sunset

ok, that's my vacation slide show. (yay...)



In case that bored the crap out of you here's the Blood Hound Gang action.








Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Cameras

So I finally developed the water camera I took with me rafting and to Laughlin. I'm kinda curious if any of the pics came out (as you know I buy only the highest quality of disposable cameras, hehehe).

before I took the camera in last week I noticed another disposable camera in my room. It had been sitting around undeveloped for a long time, possibly years. With my curiosity peaked I decided to drop off both cameras.

it dawned on me after dropping them off that the age of the older disposable camera would be at least a year and a half to two years old.

I remembered why I didn't develop it, the camera is full of pictures from when I was with my ex, Jody. I guess you don't really realize how much time has passed until something jogs your memory.

part of me is kinda scared about picking up the two sets of pics. One reason is that when you try not to think of the pain attributed to the past the last thing you want is to have a reminder slap you in the face. The other reason is that I accidentally checked off the print & CD box, and it's gonna be expensive.

(figures, I'm now paying to develop pictures of my ex's, stupid curiosity)



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Monday, September 11, 2006

I Drink There For I am

Misti left this comment on a previous post:
lesson time again. I'm obviously lacking in some areas.
why do you want to get drunk? high's a good feeling? kinda floaty right? dizzy does not feel good i mean.

By mistipurple, at Monday, September 11, 2006 10:13:03 PM


so I figured it would be a good "quickie" post to round out the day.

usually when I drink I don't get the dizzy floaty feeling, in fact I don't know of too many people that do, it's more like you just don't really feel anything (but not in a quadriplegic sort of way.)

The reasons I partake in the spirits are many, but gather around and I'll tell you the tale.

well, not really a tale, more of a ramble. In any case, see, when one consumes alcoholic beverages a number of things begin to happen.

1st off, alcohol works as a social lubricant. The more you drink the easier you find it to converse and so on. The reason is that alcohol removes your inhibitions and leads to you to forget about the things like being shy. (believe it or not, I'm actually very shy, I just hide it by being out going.)

2ndly, alcohol tints the way you see the world, things that aren't normally funny seem to have a bit of a silly edge to it. What would normally be a borderline comedy can often leave you in stitches.

Finally, the more everyone else drinks the funnier I am, so drink up bitches!




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Stuff And Junk (Who Needs A Weekend Update?)

Normally when I've had a fun weekend I do a little weekend review, but it looks like in my drunken state from Saturday I took care of that. BTW, if it weren't for the fact that I left my computer out that night I wouldn't have known I wrote that entry.

so obviously I had a good time on burger night, though I was drunk when I went to make the burgers so I "a-salted" them a little too much. Personally I thought they were fine, but I thought everything was fine. Interesting note, when on Sunday when Elena took off I went on my patio to open the gate and suddenly remembered that I threw "my" razor scooter off the balcony. I guess it upset me.

Aside from burger night there wasn't too much excitement over the weekend, Amber and Elena were nursing hangovers and slept in the living room all day.

Oh, and how great was it that when we left the house in he morning to get food we come back to the place stinking of old alcohol. Yeah, I guess because I was the only one still Mobil I got to do all the cleaning (lucky me).

Moral of the story...
Einstein Know What's Up


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Sunday, September 10, 2006

kfuck'nt drunkd

i'm hammered rigtn now, and seeing ashoug though i need to spober up beofee i go to slepeepy i 'dedcdider to blog

oh sure, my findgers can weork elsew ehere but no here
fuckn't quiters

*yawn*

i'm lookinknu8bg to crash out right now but seeing ashough i need to lose this buss i will just keep writeirnbg till i'm sober

first off, i just found out my bestesdft frien ds room mate is gay, dueede, i've alwasy knowant but seriously, why hide it this long? i mean, he's been making advacnes on me for years, he makes his own renecance closthing, and he is GAY@ I'M SORrry by why not just admit it? i mean, i'm going to totallhy tease him for it, but ya know, that's why guys doo. had he palyed his cards right i could have hooked him up with polt! (but he's off getting some 18 year old ass, so it's all good)

i guess in the end every one needs some loven', bbut the take it far to litterallly

hehehe

i can't focus, i gues that' smeant shta this will be the best blog post ever (god d,nows my other's ones such more thatn, well, i guees the jefft's roommmate)

so everyone it talkin'jnn about steve irwain, and i've avoidedd the sumbuject the b est i can. but i supooasdresd i do have to say something about it. so here it goes:
steve irwin was a dork, but more than that he was a great man. he taught people how torespect nattue and understand stufff. heleft behind a whife and twoo daughters (btw, he wifen was a hottied). i can't say ai knew thaman, but, i have to say i respected him. he knewthe meening fo life and persued it all the awyas down to the very end.

burger night, as you can tell was a succeseee. we had a newe pwerosn join the group, linda, she's a total cutes and justitchen' for un, whcih is good cause the otehrer kind of itchen'n rewquieespeniclin. hehehee

needless tto say by huhreger idn't come out their best due to th efact that i makdde eyoutem qhiel ddrunk. a littltoo salkte y for some, but there werer still good eats.

everyone whenr home for theeventing, amber crashed outhe first being too drunk to hnadg, LInda leftdesd nected afollowed by them jeff. elenda passed ou in my bad and i guess i soiudlh follow

unfortuantely i have arule ahganst falling asleeeeepuy drunk


or course nodding offf know seeems woreslaksd


alla thae whiel all i can think is that ai wish hella was still on0line.. being in ddep smit with somenone yu dont' thin of much welse. day and night, in and out, that's what is always on the tip of you rmionly a eawe more weednss hehehe.

one thing i do have ot sah,and this if vitall important.. a sunscreeen that is used a sa ba of soap is justs a bad idead. no matter what i say.

mmmmm.... i want you lips on me, i want to feel you wrap yur self around me...
unkb, i'm too drunk. go play the geee game or somethinhg...


where's the porn
(btw, no on likes my porn(




Exile

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Friday, September 08, 2006

Shamefully Addictive

WTF?

I have a decent laptop, multiple video games systems, movies gallore

and yet I've been trying to get an egg in a frying pan for an hour!

Yeah, it took me a while to figure out that the egg lasts longer if you just draw one line instead of multiple. I have no idea why this little game is so much fun

I have no idea why, but this reminds me of my bitch (Misti)



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Haiku Friday

Progress with condo
Almost done framing my art
Don't recall, do you?

A package was sent
seven days is way too long
tick tock tick tock, *sigh*

by the way Hella
sorry to break it to you
Misti's my bitch

(But don't worry, I'll still share)



Exile

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Thursday, September 07, 2006

HNP- Half Nekk'ed Prize

As a reward for the Labor Day Contest, our sweet and innocent Hella got to choose what my HNT pic would be (though she probably would have been better off with the story...)

I guess there's something sexy about a man's clavicles. I wasn't sure how to do it so I enlisted Herb's help on this one.

it's the new thing, snake bondage!
herb shoulders 1



"love those leather cuffs!"


Exile

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Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Weekend Wrap-Up

Man oh man does it feel good to be back at work.



Bwah ha ha ha, I couldn’t keep a straight face on that one.

Oh man, nothing like a long weekend to realize that you need a vacation atleast every weekend. My weekend was pretty busy, but good times were had by all.

Friday Night-
I took off out to banning to visit my pet lesbian, the night started out fairly decent, we got carls and such. But then things went horribly wrong! Turns out that Elena's little adopted brothers have a penchant for flushing non-flushable items down the toilet. Oh yes, so my first impression on meeting her mom was me saying hello and excusing my self to the bathroom for an hour while I played “Moses the plumber” attempting to stop the waters from rising. Yeah… that was fun. After the “ordeal” we played a few video games then went out to the most expensive bar in Palm Springs. It’s funny; the bar was called Zelda’s yet I was the only guy wearing a Legend of Zelda T-shirt. But nonetheless we had fun, got drunk and had a nice drive home. (In my family we learn to drive drunk while multitasking, it’s a gift.)

Saturday-
You’d think that waking up from a night of drinking would remind of the previous day’s events, but it turns out you just need a toilet hemorrhaging piss water at 8:00 am to do that.

Yes, I had to battle the toilet again, this time I lost…

It was everywhere…

the horror…

after the morning’s toilet fun we grabbed a cheap breakfast and took off to the mountain town of Idlewile. It’s like a mountain town/open air mall, Elena wanted to show off her new show and it was hands down the best one up there. Though the soda shop had some tasty root beer. So after some BBQ foodies, a souvenir for amber, and the world’s largest yellow ducky we were out. (Yes, I transported a 4-foot tall rubber duckier down from Elena’s store and got zero pics, I think Elena has one though.)

When I got home that night it was an evening of herb bath’s, laundry, and Internet fun.
“Napoleon, don’t be jealous that I’ve been on the Internet all day chatting with hot chicks.”

Sunday-
my dad calls me at 10 am asking me why I’m not at the lake with the rest of the family.

Yeah, they forgot to tell me when they were going.

Usually my dad calls me to help him launch the seadoos and set up camp, because they didn’t’ need my help no one called, so I slept nearly through the whole thing. Luckily they needed trash bags or they would have completely forgot to call me.

I arrived, I had a beer or two and I roasted. Yes I put sunscreen on, but at temp nearly 120 degrees (American) you just don’t get to avoid it.

We had some ka-bobs and they were de’liche. They were this bbq chicken smothered in some sort of sauce. (Man I could go for one right now.) I ate 5 of them and had to resist #6. The funny thing is the bbq we used was this football one I bought for my dad nearly 5 years ago. He just now opened his present.

My bro and I took off out into the lake and had a run in with shore patrol. These pricks tried to write us up on 4 violations, but only gave us one. They said we were going the wrong way (lie), going too fast (partial lie), our tags were expired (lie), and in a restricted zone (bull shit.) The truth is that we were going the right way on the water (counter clockwise) and we accidentally headed into a restricted cove (the buoy’s said so), so we made a u-turn and headed out headed out. My bro did speed up a little but it was only to make the turn (you have to give a seadoo some gas to make it turn). Naturally shore patrol rushed us and cited us both. $65 dollars (American no less!)

Naturally we’re going to fight it, we’re stubborn Italians like that.

Monday-
I took off to Redondo beach to visit Jenna.

Man, I forgot how nice the weather is at the beach. It was a brisk 70 degrees, the wind was blowing the sent of salt from the ocean, and the air was full of the sounds of people honking at Jenna cause she drives like a maniac.

Now, in her defense, beach communities California (I don’t know crap about else where) are designed by stoners who thought it would be “tits” if you could make a five way stop. So naturally you have to drive with bit voracity.

Jenna has voracity to spare.

Nonetheless, we had a fine time bitching about relationships, bitching about the good we ate, and watching a terrible movie. We watched Miami Vice at a 3-dollar movie theater and I wanted a refund. The movie was terrible; I think it gave me hives.

But as I said before, good times were had by all and to top it off, I got me some chocolate cake.

Summery-
Even an exploding toilet, a $65 dollar ticket, and Mrs. Jenna’s Wild Ride, is better than a day at work. (and Miami Vice Sucked!)



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Monday, September 04, 2006

Labor Day Fun N' Games

Well, seeing as though everyone is in the "I'm not at work, why should I blog" kind of mood, I thought I'd throw something out there for all of us who are still crawling around on the internet watching free previews of porn sites.


Here's how this little game works, I swiped this AMV from YouTube featuring none other that the greatest accordion player on earth, Weird Al Yankovic. This is the quintessential polka, covering tons of songs from the 90's.

Let's see who can name them all first.



The winner gets to choose what my HNT pic will be for the week (keep in mind it's Half Nekk'ed).



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Friday, September 01, 2006

Haiku Friday

God-damn-fucking-fly!
are attracted to two things...
hope it's that I'm sweet.

Love the off-blog chats
talk'n shit via e-mail
yes, literally

I smashed the fly!
Right on the sign in book
with the boss' paper





Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

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