How To Have A Garage Sale

So, my family had a garage sale last week, the sale went well. everyone made a little extra beer money and if it weren't for the fact that we spend a lot on beer i'd say everyone made some coin.

but when it comes to garage sales with us, well, somehow, someone, always winds up holding the bag. or should i say the box...

allow me to take you through the process on my side of things.

Step 1. the family starts talking about having a garage sale, and everyone comes up with grandiose plans

Step 2. about three months later someone remembers talking about a garage sale and the plans all get drudged up again.

Step 3. everyone remembers than Exile has a garage that he can't rent out and begin filling his garage crap.

Step 4. the crap in exile's garage begins to gather dust, the "out of sight, out of mind" mantra begins to haunt him.

Step 5. Even more crap accumulates

Step 6. Exile finally finds someone to rent his garage and is forced to move all the crap into his brother's garage. finally, someone else cares that the garage sale hasn't happened.

Step 7. Grandma hears about the garage, Exile is now picking up stuff on a weekly basis.

Step 8. Ads are placed, signs are made, stuff is amassed in Exile's cousin's garage for the sale (amassing is done by Exile).

Step 9. Day of the garage sale, and it turns out that everyone has been collecting stuff from all their friends. that would be Crap to the power of Crap...

(this picture is from the second day, we emptied the yard on Saturday and refilled it on Sunday!)

Step 10. After a two say sell-a-thon there was still a load of Crap left... guess where it went.


Step 11. Exile drives around with a truck load of crap for a week. (at this point i would like to point out that none of the crap in my truck was mine, but all the stuff that people kept dumping on me.)

Step 12. Exile drives about an hour or so to Perris (if you think Elsinore is bad, try Perris) to a Salvation Army Donation center that isn't picky.



hmmmmm.... i think this is the only Twelve Step Program that has actually driven me to drink.

in case you're wondering what has happened to the Ol' Trash Truck, with all the work she did over the past few weeks, i rewarded her with a bath


Side Note: when you go three years without washing your truck you have to wash it at least five times to get all the grim and dirt off.



Exile

Broke And Broken

Lots of extra work is bad, but having some extra money is good.

speaking of good, I finally rented out my garage! yup, it's been vacant
since the incident with the homeless tweeker (who decided to store himself
in there.) I'm renting it for $75 a month with a $75 deposit, the guy who
came by last night is really cool and he had cash in hand and signed
everything without any craziness. then, just to make things more gooder, he
even bought some of my dads old tools that I was storing in the garage. so
with that and the money I made working for my dad this weekend I've got a
good sized deposit going into the bank today.

with the extra money I'm tempted, sooooo tempted, to buy fun stuff instead
of being responsible (like Red Vs Blue, the Blood Gulch Chronicles, The
Complete Series). but alas, I must be responsible because I'm an adult and
being an adult means that you can't do anything fun. (being an adult sucks).
so I decided to break out my "broken" list.

the broken list is a running tab I keep in my mind of all the things I need
to fix as soon as I have the money to do so... needless to say the list has
gotten long.


The Broken List

THE CONDO
-the couch has a tear in the back rest and is missing a cushion
-the blinds in the living room were broken by my ex-roommates booty call (he
was either going out for a smoke or contemplating jumping from the balcony,
neither would surprise me.)
-the AC unit needs to be recharged, also, the dick holes who painted the
complex painted the AC unit too. so the thing is running at 1/3 capacity.
-the front window has detached from the frame, so the lock is the only thing
holding it together.
-the washing machine has a leak somewhere under the drum. it randomly starts
to leak
-from numerous burger nights my carpet has gone Dalmatian on me.
-the toilet seat in my bathroom is all "bumpy" from water damage from the
previous owner/renter


THE TRUCK
-it needs a wash. either I pay someone else to do it, or I need to go buy
new supplies.
-my check engine light has been on for nearly five months. I know it's just
the O2 sensor in the exhaust system, but those little bastards are $90
minimum.
-there is a rip in my fill hose (the hose that goes from the gas cap to the
tank). I won't blow up or anything (I hope) but if I fill all the way up it
leaks gas and I think it's evaporating out of the tank quicker.
-the door won't open all the way. my truck has been making that "old man
truck" noise when I open the door. this weekend the pin fell half way out
and the door wouldn't close. I knocked it back into place and this morning
the door wouldn't open all the way.
-I'm still missing the front license plate off my truck. oddly enough while
I was at the gas station I saw a guy with a corvette and asked him if cops
harassed him for not having a plate, he said no one has ever said a word
about it.
-it just dawned on me that I don't remember the last time I paid my
registration on my truck.
-it need the air filter replaced, fluids filled, and some other stuff that
will probably break on my way to work in the morning
-the ignition switch (the thingy you put your key in) is broken, well after
the key is out I have to fondle my thingy to stop it from chiming.


with all that, we haven't even touched on my debts.
$3000 on the American Express
$4000 on the Chiropractor
$400 on the Best Buy Card (for the PS3)
$1 for Daniel at work (I wanted a bag of Fritos)

oh, damn near forgot about my Mortgage, Association dues, Gas, Water,
Electric, Cable/Internet, Gasoline, Cell Bill, Toll Road, life insurance,
and two automated savings accounts...

welp, there when that "whoo-who" I was feeling over my so-called extra
money. I think I'm going to go clip some coupons now.




exile

What The Truck?

Yeah... so remember when i fixed my alternator?


yeah, well, that was just the tip of the shit-berg...


I dropped my truck off at the shop yesterday, and i got a call from the mechanic today...

One Oil Change (synthetic)
Eight Spark Plugs ($9 bucks a pop)
One New Spark Plug wire set ($90)
One fuel filter
One random oil spewing gasket
One air filter
A bunch of extra work
And One full blown exorcism

Yeah...
just Seven Hundred Measly dollars and three days later and i get my truck back


the sad thing is that my truck isn't even worth $700 dollars...
just don't tell her that (she's sensitive)




Exile

Haiku Fridays

Do you see the pic?
six A.M., my truck broke down
stranded in the cold



Bad alternator
my dad and i fixed it up
didn't go to work



i did get lucky though
Alt was under warranty
replaced it for free!






Exile

HNT- Half Nekk'ed Truck

I've had my truck for years, we've been through a lot.

I've rocked out hardcore to music,
it's been my sanctuary when I've been emotionally sick.
it's costed me tons of cash,
it's hauled all my trash.
it's gotten me through all of life's little slips,
and I've taken it on countless road trips...

no road trip more important, than my most recent trip to Vegas with Hella.


so to give thanks to my truck for conveying my love and I across the desert i thought an HNT om age was appropriate.

A side view for you...


and a peak at my tailgate!


These pics are all from our trip to the Cliff top above Lake Elsinore, it's the same place we snapped one of our new favorite pics...

(i love how free she looks in this picture... i guess love will do that to you.)



but don't worry, we behaved on the cliffs, after all, we didn't want any accidents.


HHNT


Exile