How To Have A Garage Sale

So, my family had a garage sale last week, the sale went well. everyone made a little extra beer money and if it weren't for the fact that we spend a lot on beer i'd say everyone made some coin.

but when it comes to garage sales with us, well, somehow, someone, always winds up holding the bag. or should i say the box...

allow me to take you through the process on my side of things.

Step 1. the family starts talking about having a garage sale, and everyone comes up with grandiose plans

Step 2. about three months later someone remembers talking about a garage sale and the plans all get drudged up again.

Step 3. everyone remembers than Exile has a garage that he can't rent out and begin filling his garage crap.

Step 4. the crap in exile's garage begins to gather dust, the "out of sight, out of mind" mantra begins to haunt him.

Step 5. Even more crap accumulates

Step 6. Exile finally finds someone to rent his garage and is forced to move all the crap into his brother's garage. finally, someone else cares that the garage sale hasn't happened.

Step 7. Grandma hears about the garage, Exile is now picking up stuff on a weekly basis.

Step 8. Ads are placed, signs are made, stuff is amassed in Exile's cousin's garage for the sale (amassing is done by Exile).

Step 9. Day of the garage sale, and it turns out that everyone has been collecting stuff from all their friends. that would be Crap to the power of Crap...

(this picture is from the second day, we emptied the yard on Saturday and refilled it on Sunday!)

Step 10. After a two say sell-a-thon there was still a load of Crap left... guess where it went.


Step 11. Exile drives around with a truck load of crap for a week. (at this point i would like to point out that none of the crap in my truck was mine, but all the stuff that people kept dumping on me.)

Step 12. Exile drives about an hour or so to Perris (if you think Elsinore is bad, try Perris) to a Salvation Army Donation center that isn't picky.



hmmmmm.... i think this is the only Twelve Step Program that has actually driven me to drink.

in case you're wondering what has happened to the Ol' Trash Truck, with all the work she did over the past few weeks, i rewarded her with a bath


Side Note: when you go three years without washing your truck you have to wash it at least five times to get all the grim and dirt off.



Exile