HNA- Half Nekk'ed Angel *And The Last Night Of The Contest

Seeing as though the hills by my house are on fire, again, and i passed out flyers while it was snowing ash, i'm not up to snap anything too fancy tonight.

So instead i will share my last family outing to the Angles' game.


for those of you who don't know, the Anaheim Angles are a team Disney bought in order to cover up for the mistake of buying the Mighty Ducks (quack). Well, my Dad happens to be a huge fan of the boys in red, well, red and white, so he i usually heading up there for a game. (he went to the world series when the Angels played in it)

My dad has always seemed to have luck with getting tickets. When he had his construction business he did work on a bunch of the Angles' homes in the area (he did the landscaping on million dollar homes.) so these guys were always giving my dad stuff, signed baseballs, jerseys, and tickets. Brian Harvey was probably the most generous of the guys, usually hooking my dad up with either seats behind the dug out, or posters with the team's autographs.

now that my dad is working out here (yes, even with chemo he's still working, the show off) he's still getting choice seats from his boss (another huge fan.)

last week my dad called me to take me out to the ball game (i asked for peanuts and cracker jacks), and i figured what the heck.

we arrived at the game and he was all happy like a kid who just got out of class on Friday without homework, and when we found the seats i could see why.



yeah, that white line in the grass, that's the first base line. it was like watching really ultra hi-def television (except the only thing on was baseball.)

now, admittedly i'm not much of a baseball fan. usually i'll ask my dad questions at nausea, but he likes that i put in the effort.

we only took a small group, but look how happy my dad was to have us all at the game.

in order Left to right:
My Dad (he was smiling really big in the first picture, but i thought this one was better.)
My Mom (drunk)
A Drunk guy that was hitting on my mom's cousin
My Mom's cousin (also drunk

it was fun, but my favorite part of the night was me drinking the whole time for free!

i pulled it off using the pattened Exile Flirt & Fall (yes, i have a patten.)
what i did was i went to the beer bar thing and ordered beers for the family (i'm such a giver.) while there i flirted with the older, overweight, black girl behind the counter (she loved it.) they told me i could only take so many beers at a time so i playfully pouted and took my beers. upon my return i splashed a bit of beer on myself (why don't they put lids on these things) and so i went back to the counter to order one for my self. while there i told them i dumped my beer and i was very sadding. they said just bring back the empty cup and they'll refill it. so i went, grabbed a random cup, brought it to the bar and they gave me a brand new beer (that i never paid for) in a brand new cup (instead of the one i found on the floor.)

stolen beer tastes better.

after that beer and numerous others (my mom and her cousin kept buying me beer) i was pretty toasted. so by the fifth inning i whipped out the camera phone, unfurled my monkey and snapped my HNT pic


yes, that is an official rally monkey... with a tail wang.

after the churro, the rest of the night was a blur. i know i tried to talk some kid into giving me his popcorn, then i passed out in the car on the way home.

Btw, i think the Angles lost, but at least they all had fun... oh, and made shit loads of money for sucking. hehehe




Exile's Sex Contest

Ok, tonight is the final night of the HNT Contest. in light of that i am reposting the contest (because some of you are too lazy to click a link) for you to have one more shot at guessing (although, you're allowed to guess as many times as you'd like.)



Here's How it works: I'm going to list out a bunch of Facts about yours truly. weaved in are Five out right lies. all you have to do to win is guess all five lies (or more than anyone else) and leave your answers in the comments along with an HNT theme.

Hint~ there are no "trick truths," for example if i say I masturbate every day, I'm not going to say "it's not true because i don't do it every single day." it's true enough.


Exile's Sex Contest

1. Once while getting a blow job i "twinged" and headbutted a shelf nearly giving myself a concussion.
2. I went to a BDSM club once, and flogged a girl that was tied to a rack.
3. I've graced the pages of the Other HNT
4. I'm a member of the Mile High Club
5. moments after having sex with a girl she called her boyfriend to reconfirm their trip to San Francisco that he was paying for.
6. during a heavy make out session a booger made its way out of my nose and, well you get the picture...
7. I gave a girl a black eye during sex
8. the first girl i had sex with was a "friends with benefits" situation that i broke off when she started falling for me.
9. I've had sex with a pregnant chick
10. after a night of sex i was sleeping with a girl that kept farting, so i took her pillow and stuffed it against her butt.
11. I've participated in a threesome
12. while going down on a girlfriend she farted. i coughed.
13. i was getting head while watching a trivia show and exactly the wrong moment i answered one of the questions
14. I've had sex at work
15. while going down on a girlfriend her cat jumped up on the bed and sniffed my naked ass.
16. I've had sex in my parents Jacuzzi in the middle of the day while they were home
17. i used to sleep with an ugly chick in exchange for rent
18. I've never had sex with someone else while in a relationship
19. i have never told a girl i loved her just to have sex with her
20. a girl told me she would never sex with me again because my wang was too big
21. pigtails are huge turn off for me
22. i only go down on girls that i love
23. i rearended a car while fingering a girl in my passenger seat
24. I've had sex with twenty five different women
25. i don't really like strip clubs

Seeing as though this is the last night i have to remind you that cheating is totally encouraged. "how do i cheat" you ask? well first off, don't ask to cheat, that's just silly. just go back through the answers everyone else has given, while i say who got what right, i do say what precent they did...

good luck little monkeys!



Exile