Well, We Brand Cows So People Know Who They Belong To...

today they were giving a tour of my company to a representative of one of our customers. this sort of thing happens a lot, usually it's some dumpyl ittle dude or an older chick. but today it was different, the girl taking the tour was a total knock out.

now, being the suave and debonair guy you've all come to know and love, I ogled her for a moment then ran out of the room (what? I needed to refill my water bottle...).

it was pretty apparent throughout the company that all the guys were checking her out, and why wouldn't they? she was a cute little blonde with a low cut pink sweater and a white tank top thingy showing just enough cleavage you make you go "yum."

now, you're probably wondering why I didn't try and hit on this girl. well, I figure that hitting on one of our biggest customers in front of my boss's boss would probably get me fired (and if not, it was still a damn good excuse for being a coward). of course, the wedding ring on her finger was
also a big detour ant.

after she left my lab, I started talking to one of my coworkers about how it was so odd to see someone like that from our customer. the coworker asked why I didn't try asking her out and I mention that she's probably married or engaged. the coworker laughed at the fact that that was the first thing I noticed (which I must correct, it was the second thing I noticed, hehehe).

palpitations aside, this whole even has now sent me on a tangent that I think must be discussed, labeling women. now I know what you're thinking, "women shouldn't' be labeled, they're not objects." to which I say "actually they're nouns, so ppppppttttttthhhhhhhhttt!"

the kind of labeling I'm thinking we need is in regards to a woman's relationship status. look at it like this, when a woman is engaged, there's an engagement ring. when she's married, there's a wedding ring. (and when they're divorced they're a new Jaguar in the driveway.) but what about the other classed women fit into?

I say we need a system to categorize women. For the single women I'm thinking a type of bracelet. a bracelet for Single and looking, Single Not looking, and Fun and sex (no commitment.) this would solve the problem of girls have with guys hitting on them for the wrong thing. hell, if I just want to "throw down" for the night, I'm not going to bother Single Not Looking, nor would I want to trick Single And Looking. the only girls that would probably suffer from this scenario are the ones who are looking to get free drinks and have no interest in the guy (they're bracelet would say "Stuck Up Whore.")

my system would also be expanded to the "girlfriends" out there. I'm a single guy, if I meet a girl and start talking to her, eventually I'm going to ask her out. do you realize how awkward that is when you talk to a girl for an hour and when you finally work up the nerve to ask her out she has a boyfriend? after something like that there is no "let's still be friends" or "lets go hang out anyways" because you already tipped your hand. as for the girl, now that you know the guy wanted to "stick it in you" you refuse to see him as anything else (don't lie, this is how your minds work.) but, let's say instead a "girlfriend" wore a necklace with a simple little ring on it. well this is completely different, guys looking for just a date would probably shy away, and those who want to be friends would feel more comfortable engaging (yes, sometimes guys just want to be friends too!)

I personally think that with every woman's status on display it would remove a lot of the confusion and awkwardness (especially for us geeky guys, cause rejection of any kind and we retreat into our nerd shells.)

as for labeling guys, that's kind of superfluous. after all, most women can size a man up just by watching him walk into a room, and all the single guys will most likely gravitate towards the easy targets. (you know, the stragglers at the back of the herd.)

exile