A Slight Distraction

Well, for someone who didn't have work i sure was busy. here are the events that followed the humping condoms post:

-I did yard work at my parents house on Thursday, it was the earliest I've woken up in weeks and i spent the whole day trimming trees, bushes, and palm trees with four inch needles. (i hate those things). To top it off it kept raining on and off, not enough to stop working, but enough to make the ladder very slippery.

-Friday i woke up with a severe respiratory infection, ever since i got back from the ER with grandma i was feeling sickish, and it finally took hold. "luckily" because i had the week off of work i took care of things real quick like. got into the urgent care, got my meds, picked up my prescriptions, and got back on the road to healthy. (i put luckily in quotes because that's the only positive thing i can get out of missing a week's worth of f'n pay.

-On my way home from the urgent care i stopped by Petco (a pet store chain) to use up a store credit on some expendable fish. here's what happened after twenty minutes of waiting for service:
Employee- Can i help you?
Exile- yeah, i would like to buy some fish
Employee- Is your tank already established?
Exile- Of course (this is a novice question, it means has the tank been running long enough to support fish)
Employee- did you have fish in there before?
Exile- yeah, they didn't last, i'm hoping these one will.
Employee- they didn't last? what did you have in there with them?
Exile- a few Barbs (a type of fish) and a turtle (a type of turtle.)
Employee- and you're trying to put fish in with a turtle?
Exile- well, sometimes you can get fish and turtles to live together.
Employee- No you can't.
Exile- actually...
Employee- (interrupts) NO YOU CAN'T.
Exile- What? I've...
Employee- (interrupts a story of my boy hood about turtle/fish cohabitation) No sir.
Exile- You're not going to sell me a fish?
Employee- No. (with contempt) The only fish i would sell you is a feeder goldfish.

With that she walked away... So i just went down the street to the next Petco and bought the fish i wanted.

-Saturday and Sunday were spent doing some gaming and hanging out with the girl from the bowling alley (we both have insomnia). while the things with the girl went alright, the gaming put me only 12 trophies behind Gary! And that just happens to be the amount of trophies in the new Penny Arcade Adventures Game. (Exile is closing in).

-On Monday i showed up bright eyed and bushy tailed ready to put in some major work at work (my job is redundant and so is the description) only to find out that they're cutting all over time. now, seeing as though my survival is based solely on the extra cash from overtime (i get about six hours worth a week). So with short week before, the week off last week, and now not getting overtime... i'm pretty screwed.

-tomorrow i'm going to have to square off with my Chiropractor about money she owes me. Remember me talking about running fliers and such? yeah, well, she owes me for $170 for the work i did in September and October. all through November and December i've called all three phone lines, mailed invoices, and slipped them under the door, and delivered them in person to the receptionist. it's been too long to assume she's simply "forgotten" to call me back, so now i have to go down there and demand payment. And with my money situation, i can't walk out of there without it.



On A Positive Note:
I played Buzz: Quiz TV (a PS3 game) and managed to get over 5000 points on the single player match by answering 20 questions correctly each one under a second. (ba ba BOOM!)


and now, a happy song.



Exile

You Can Always Count On Your Friends To Take A Shit On You

I have a small collection of friends. it's a small group because i only keep people as friends if they are trust worthy. The Jeff, Jenna, Elena, Amber, and Herb (if you don't know Herb's story click here. (in case you're wondering, Hella is definitely in the trust worthy category, but her girlfriend status trumps the friend status.)

So tonight i decided to unwind on my couch, it had been a long day and i felt like watch'n some TV. needless to say Herb eventually joined me watch'n cause he does that, and so did Amber.

We were all chill'n, Herb did his usual thing of knocking everything off the coffee table and Amber did her thing of hiding from Herb. (She likes him, she just doesn't like him touching her.)

Amber enjoys watching these reality surgery shows where they take take physically revolting people and show gut wrenching close ups of their surgery. well, unbeknown to Amber and myself the surgery is pretty gut wrenching to snakes as well...

Yeah, a surge and a gurgle and Herb Shit On The Couch! For those of you uneducated about snake shit let me let you in on a few fun facts.

• Snakes make a mookey stink only once a month. so if you've ever followed your dad after he's used the bathroom, realize he goes every other day. Herb stores it up for a month.
• Snakes have what is called a Cloaca. A cloaca is a what birds, fish, and reptiles have to expel waste. What this means is that when a cloaca owner goes to the bathroom this multipurpose anus/urethra/birth canal/penis thing opens up and the animal excretes feces and urine at the same time.
• Snakes have a linear digestive system. This makes it so when they go poop they really go, and seeing as though he's mainly made of muscle, he didn't just defecate, but expelled his bowels.

Snake shit stinks. his tank is full of kitty litter just to make sure that the smell is contained... the couch is a giant sponge... so the cushion is destroyed, and so is the blanket that took one for the team. (and my t-shirt...)

and of course, once the situation was cleaned up, Amber began to laugh so hard i nearly lost another cushion.

I've had Herb nearly 10 years now, not once has he done anything like this. Never has he given me cause to question my trust in him... until now

Thanks Herb...

(seeing as thought it is HNT today i thought i'd show off a classic Herb HNT, and check out the hot chicky chick in the background)

now before, you get all uppity, i 'm not dwelling on this to make Herb feel ashamed. but if you come over to my house and SHIT ON MY COUCH i will do a post about you too.

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com