You Can Always Count On Your Friends To Take A Shit On You

I have a small collection of friends. it's a small group because i only keep people as friends if they are trust worthy. The Jeff, Jenna, Elena, Amber, and Herb (if you don't know Herb's story click here. (in case you're wondering, Hella is definitely in the trust worthy category, but her girlfriend status trumps the friend status.)

So tonight i decided to unwind on my couch, it had been a long day and i felt like watch'n some TV. needless to say Herb eventually joined me watch'n cause he does that, and so did Amber.

We were all chill'n, Herb did his usual thing of knocking everything off the coffee table and Amber did her thing of hiding from Herb. (She likes him, she just doesn't like him touching her.)

Amber enjoys watching these reality surgery shows where they take take physically revolting people and show gut wrenching close ups of their surgery. well, unbeknown to Amber and myself the surgery is pretty gut wrenching to snakes as well...

Yeah, a surge and a gurgle and Herb Shit On The Couch! For those of you uneducated about snake shit let me let you in on a few fun facts.

• Snakes make a mookey stink only once a month. so if you've ever followed your dad after he's used the bathroom, realize he goes every other day. Herb stores it up for a month.
• Snakes have what is called a Cloaca. A cloaca is a what birds, fish, and reptiles have to expel waste. What this means is that when a cloaca owner goes to the bathroom this multipurpose anus/urethra/birth canal/penis thing opens up and the animal excretes feces and urine at the same time.
• Snakes have a linear digestive system. This makes it so when they go poop they really go, and seeing as though he's mainly made of muscle, he didn't just defecate, but expelled his bowels.

Snake shit stinks. his tank is full of kitty litter just to make sure that the smell is contained... the couch is a giant sponge... so the cushion is destroyed, and so is the blanket that took one for the team. (and my t-shirt...)

and of course, once the situation was cleaned up, Amber began to laugh so hard i nearly lost another cushion.

I've had Herb nearly 10 years now, not once has he done anything like this. Never has he given me cause to question my trust in him... until now

Thanks Herb...

(seeing as thought it is HNT today i thought i'd show off a classic Herb HNT, and check out the hot chicky chick in the background)

now before, you get all uppity, i 'm not dwelling on this to make Herb feel ashamed. but if you come over to my house and SHIT ON MY COUCH i will do a post about you too.

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com