Exile Industries: Bureau Of Unfounded Theories

As part of an on going attempt to reshape the world, Exile industries would like assist in the long since lost art of free thought. We bring to you a list of ideas that, while they have no current scientific backing and are most likely untrue, will hopefully inspire many to look at the world differently.

The Bureau Of Unfounded Theories resulted in many of these concepts through the act of Observation and Conclusion.

Though many of our sponsors may disagree with the following keep in mind that much of the world and society was based on unfounded beliefs and rumors, just look at organized religion.

Bureau Of Unfounded theories report as of 08/17/05:

• Observation: While pens and pencil are superior to each other in their own ways. But the logical fusion of these writing implements were huge failures. Conclusion: Brilliance is seconded to marketability.
• Observation: The world's wealthiest will spend $5,000 at a charity to raise funds for the spotted owl, but won't lift a finger to feed the homeless. Conclusion: The homeless should start eating owls.
• Observation: A woman can get receive intercourse with less difficulty than asking for a glass of water, yet many women complain about "dry spells." Conclusion: If a woman is not having sufficient sexual activity there is a chance the bar is set too high.
• Observation: The successfully homeless no longer carry signs that say will work for food, but rather have signs that say "kick me in the nuts, $5". Conclusion: Some people would rather get kicked in the nuts than go to work.
• Observation: Often times when you hear a rumor around the office it's usually spread by the same person, every one is disgusted with the gossip, but eagerly listens. Conclusion: When it comes to gossip the difference between being a hypocrite and a gossip is in who you tell your secrets to.
• Observation: When someone asks you to help them with a project, they often give you the most difficult portion of the assignment. Conclusion: When someone realizes there is an easy way out of a situation they'll take it, at your expense or not.
• Observation: Many people assume that some women never reach climax, this assumption is reached usually after the act of coitus. Conclusion: Every woman can orgasms, it just means someone's not using the right kind of effort.
• Observation: Men enjoy sex. Conclusion: Men enjoy sex.
• Observation: Somewhere in an office for the County of Orange, a decision was made that office supplies such as toner, paper, pens, and paperclips were not in the budget and were removed from the purchase orders. Conclusion: bureaucracy is like a toilet, shit floats to the top.
• Observation: often it's the women that claim to be superior to men are the same one's that complain about the toilet seat being left up. Conclusion: you can't be that superior if you never learned to look before you sit.
• Observation: ignoring any criticism that may say other wise, every man thinks he is the worlds greatest lover. Conclusion: yes I am.

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