Random Thoughts

These are just random thoughts running through my head...

• If you're stranded in the mountains with no food, how long should you wait until resorting to cannibalism? After all, you still need your strength to over power your fellow hiker.
• If you do something special, but you do it all the time, does it become less special?
• I hate when i ask someone how they're doing and they drone on about everything in their life, only to walk away with out showing any remote interest in you.
• It is such a cruel bit of irony that when those of us with glasses set down our corrective lenses we can no longer see where we left them.
• We all have some restaurant (or fast food place) where every time we eat there we feel over charged and disappointed in the quality, yet we keep going back. Mine is Subway.
• I always find it funny that every Halloween people get all secretive about their costume and think they're so original, only to arrive at a party with 50 other "Slutty Dorothy's." (Or Slutty Cops, or Darth Vaders...)
• Do you ever spell spell check an e-mail someone sends you, then delete it?
• When someone farts on you in their sleep you never feel like you can trust them again.
• I'm behind in my work. I am so behind that even the collective pull of the entire office couldn't get out of this hole... And yet, not a single person has noticed... How important is my job if it not getting done doesn't affect anyone?
• In regards to finding a roommate, I'm starting to think i should write the whole thing off as a bad idea and just rent out the garage as storage. (Current number crunching has it that Income-expenses= -$150.)
• There's a place out on the Ortega Hwy (near where i live) where they sell every kind of jerky imaginable, from buffalo jerky to venison jerky. And they're a busy place, cars are always lined up out there. This leaves me wondering, how much does a job pay where you have to jerk your meat all day?
• "With enough caffeine one could take over the world."
• The past couple of nights Herb (my snake, to those just tuning in) has been running laps in his tank. For a pet with no feet he sure acts like he has somewhere to go at 3am.
• One thing i hate about my job is that i can't really talk about the things that happen here, confidentiality aside, when people hear about the things that happen they become horrified and depressed. (I'll bet meat jerkers don't have that problem.)
• during sex women will sometimes say "harder," "deeper," or "faster." But if i guy ever says "tighter..."
• I wish i had a pet midget. If i had one he'd be the toughest midget on the block. I'd give him a spiked collar and tattoos. I'd put a raw egg in his kibble once a month to ensure a shiny coat. I'd teach him the best tricks, how to fetch, play dead. I'd even take him running on the beach. And we all know how well a midget works for picking up girls, they always want to pick them up and play with their stubby paws. Of course i would eventually get to busy to take care of my midget and one night, during a thunderstorm, he would run away through the fence i neglected to latch. Years later, every time i saw a midget rummaging through the trash i would think of him.
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Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com