Instruction Without Insult

the day before yesterday I went bowling with my Dad. as you may remember
before, one of my main concerns with him "teaching me" how to bowl would be
that he would make fun or laugh at me.

oddly enough, I must have caught him on a good night because there was no
cynical remarks or judgments.

these were the major bones of contention with my current performance:

1. the stance- for some reason when I bowling I start off way back where
"the floor meets the boards". according to my dad starting up back there
throws off my alignment, making it so I veer to one side or the other when I
make my approach. (just like the alignment in your car.)

2. the release- my dad's preferred method of throwing the ball is to do a
motion like you're shaking hands. my previous style was what I call "stealth
bowling", it didn't make a sound down the lane. and while it was accurate,
it didn't' make the pins explode into each other (that's what causes a
strike btw)

3. "Umpfh"- evidently I don't put enough Umpfh into my throws. the way I
bowled before was all about picking the exact spot I wanted to hit. the down
side is that my previous style didn't allow for throwing hard. (any time I
threw hard I'd wind up all over the lane). with this new "hand shake" throw
I can hurl Ichabod a lot faster, and because he's acrylic the pins bounce
pretty hard. (of course, my aim isn't the best now)

4. focus- "karate here, karate here" or so Mr. Miagi says. essentially, when
I bowl I get distracted, either by the cute girl one lane over, the
little-son-of-a-bitch-bastard crawling on the other lane

5. heavy balls- turns out I'm even picking up my ball wrong. when I walk up
to the ball return I go to the ball, put my fingers in, swing it to the read
position and wait. my dad says the right way to do it is to roll the ball
into your left hand so your arm doesn't get tired. I guess I've been wearing
my right hand out this whole time (funny, you think it would be used to a
work out.)

so after a game and a half's worth of instruction we did some serious
bowling... I got a 128. I am trying to stay positive saying that these were
training games, but a 128? egads, I did worse than last time!

I'm going to try sticking with this new style and see how it goes. but if I
don't show improvement soon then the next time Ichabod will see the light of
day will be Halloween, AS A DECORATION!

(btw, I still haven't gotten a solid answer from my minions, do I keep
calling the ball Ichabod or do I give it a new name? and no, Ichabod 2
doesn't count as a name.)

exile