The Dumb Smart Guy

I’ve always considered myself a pretty smart guy, but here is a list of some of the dumb things I’ve done (and may do again)…


· When I was a kid I made a blowgun out of a copper pipe. I had pretty good aim with it, one day I was so impressed with a shot I made I flipped the pipe around in my hand and smacked my self with it. I was too embarrassed to tell my parents that I put a gouge in the lens of my brand new glasses.

· I have a bad stomach so I can’t eat spicy food and I can’t eat eggs (along with millions of other things) yet the other morning I ate a spicy egg burrito.

· While looking for a job I would e-mail numerous people regarding jobs and so on. In the e-mails I would always include that I am well versed in computers as well as many commonly used programs… then I would forget to attach my resume to the e-mail.

· I was always coming up with new ways to do things, and safety precautions for minor tasks. When we used to go fishing I would always tie a rope around my reel so that if a fish ever hit it I wouldn’t lose my pole. Every time we went fishing my family would tease me for this (natch). So finally I decided I would just take off the rope so the wouldn’t pick on me. With in seconds of doing so the pole flew off the boat and back into the water. (ironically I had caught that pole fishing in that same lake a year before.)

· A while back my foot started to hurt. Every day the pain got worse and worse until I was actually limping on a regular basis. I considered going to a doctor until I realized that I was just tying my shoe too tight.

· I decided I’d help out my parents one day by hooking their TV up to their stereo speakers. I wired everything into place and had the whole thing working. But then I wondered what would happen if I turned on the stereo while the TV was on… the deafening POP was the last thing I heard before the “you blew up my TV!” lecture came from my dad.

· When I was with my ex I tried to refill her power steering fluid on her car but poured it into the break fluid reservoir… I essentially ruined her car.

· When I was a kid my family and I went out on one of our family water skiing trip. On a particularly choppy day we pulled into the dock and the boat was bobbing up and down quite a bit. I decided in my 9-year-old mind, to grab the dock to steady a boat full of 12 adults. The boat began grinding up against the dock with only my thumb between them. It took my mind a moment to wrap around the idea that all the skin had been rubbed off my thumb.

· When fishing with my dad and brother, I was usually more interested in the creatures living near the water than the fish I was supposed to be catching. One day while I was at the bottom of a lakeside cliff my dad caught a fish. As he was reeling it in the kept getting caught on the rocks. So I decided to run over and help bring the fish up (seeing as though I was at the water’s edge.) the instant I grabbed the line the fish let go, and with the full force my dad was pulling up on the fish the hook went into my hand. Oh yes, the barbs got tangled in the tendons of my hand, and yes, it took forever to actually pull the hook out…

· I decided to post a list that proves that I’m slightly retarded…



Exile

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