Southern California, Barbie Style

I usually don't just go cutting and pasteing e-mails and calling them blog entries, but this this on is pretty spot on. anyone who wants to know about the areas of southern california can just take a tour with Barbie:


Mattel recently announced the release of Limited-Edition O.C. Dolls for the Southern California market:

Irvine Barbie: This princess Barbie is only sold at The Irvine Spectrum. She comes with an assortment of Louis Vuitton handbags, a Lexus SUV, a toy dog named Honey, and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with "augmented" version.

Orange Barbie: This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and white silouette stickers of family members on the rear window. Known as a "soccer mom" she gets lost easily and has no full time occupation or secondary education. Has PTA membership and comes with Tupperware accessories. Cell phone sold separately.

Garden Grove: Barbie In addition to perfect English, this Barbie also speaks fluent Japanese, Chinese, Mandarin and Tagalog. Comes with her own street-racing import car, complete with Japanese animation decals. Large collection of video games sold separately. Careers or homes for this Barbie are not available, because she will stay with her parents until they die. If you purchase a Ken doll, he must move into her family's home and wait for their inheritance.

Buena Park Barbie: This recently paroled former "Porn Actress" Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is only available after dark and can only be paid for in cash.

Tustin Ranch Barbie: This yuppie Blond Barbie comes with your choice of a convertible Mercedes AMG55 or a Cadillac Escalade. Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card, and Curves membership. Comes also with Giorgio Armani fragrance, Gucci bag and Kate Spade sunglasses. Additional options for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. (You won't be able to afford any of them).

Yorba Linda Barbie: This brunette Barbie is the sister to Tustin Ranch Barbie and comes with or without highlights. She comes with a BMW convertible or Hummer H2, Kenneth Cole Sunglasses, a Country Club Membership, and a Pier 1 credit line. Options for Yorba Linda Barbie are the Shiseido makeup kit; the Bvlgari jewelry set, or the Prada shoe collection. Yorba Linda Barbie has optional yuppie Ken doll complete with Corvette, hair gel and Rolex watch.

Newport Beach Barbie: This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears an Yves Saint Laurent leopard print bikini outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends at the beach house. Percocet prescription and monthly alimony checks are included. This Barbie is only sold in Fashion Island.

Laguna Beach Barbie: This doll comes complete with craft set. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, no makeup, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her "Willow." She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Laguna Beach Barbie's, you get a rainbow flag sticker free.

Long Beach Barbie: This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and a bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of an infant.

Huntington Beach Barbie: This very tan Barbie comes with string bikini, wet suit, 3 friendship bracelets and surfboard. An MP3 player, Blockbuster video membership, pair of Vans and a beach cruiser are also included. Optional is her Lifeguard Yellow Ford Ranger with board rack (free KROQ sticker included!) Spicolli Ken can be purchased separately and comes with Hawaiian shirt and board shorts.

Rancho Santa Margarita Barbie: She 's perfect in every way. Her home is perfect. Her family is perfect. Comes with a part time job to earn her own spending money and a bible for church on Sundays. Also has a pre-assigned carpool day. We don't know who Ken is because he's always away hunting or biking or something...

Santa Ana Barbie: This Spanish-speaking-only Barbie comes with a 1984 Toyota with expired temporary plates and three baby Barbies in the back seat, but no car seats. The optional Ken doll comes with a meat-packer's uniform and is missing three fingers on his left hand. Green cards are not available for Santa Ana Barbie or Ken.

OUT OF COUNTY BARBIES:

Fontana Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in low rise Levi's, a NASCAR shirt, and a Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Coors Light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set.! She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. A mobile home is also available.

Norco Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with her own horse and dog! Her ensemble includes pair of Wrangler jeans (2 sizes too small), straw hat, fake rhinestone belt and belt buckle bought from the local pawn shop. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker -absolutely free!

Hemet Barbie: This aging Barbie is best kept indoors. She comes complete with wire grocery stroller, Omni Trans bus pass, food stamps, c! oupon book and sewing machine. Optional mobile home comes with choice of colored rock and various cactus varieties.

West Hollywood Barbie/Ken: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts


And I just had to come up with my own~

Lake Elsinore Barbie: This brittle haired Barbie has really moved up in the world, the days of hooking up with Ken in her Ford Escort are thing of the past. This Barbie rents an apartment in for pennies on the food stamp but dreams of owning a rundown home. She comes with the optional Walmart vest which can be turned indside out to become a Big Lots vest (incase she decideds just not to got to work anymore.) ($.98 Store playset not included.)

Optional L.E. Ken is sold seperately with "action" couch and MGD bottles. (Ken cannot be removed from couch.)




Exile

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