Agony Of The Gods

When I originally though about writing this post I wanted to go a different route, but now that my goat was “gotten” I guess it will be a half review half bitch session.

I recently started playing a new game and I’m absolutely hooked (no I know, exile hooked on a game, who’d see that one coming?) The game is God Of War and it’s everything one could wish for in a hack and slash game.



In the game you play as Kratos, a Spartan who, directed by the gods, brutally slays and butchers all those who stand in his path. Now, when I say butchers, I don’t mean you whack an enemy with a weapon then they fall down. Oh no, that would be too easy for Kratos. In God Of War you smash your enemies to the ground, rip them limb from limb, hack them into pieces, gouge out their eyes and occasionally swing them on a chain to throw them at other enemies. (Personally I like to pin them to ground and stab the fuck out of them.)

But this isn’t some “bad guy with a heart of gold story” either, oh no. On your mission to murder the god of war (Aries) you are not above stabbing a peasant to death just to regain some life.

There’s also a fair share of boobies (nothing like blood and boobies to make your day a little brighter). Because, like any man trained by the gods, he usually has two topless women in his bed. Don’t get me wrong, Medusa has a nice rack too, but you’re too busy trying to twist her head off to cop a feel (this is where I differ from Kratos, oh, that and the huge muscles…).

The game, in its entirety has been brutally beautiful; the bitching is in regards to a slight computer glitch. See, in the game there are puzzles all over the place you have to solve. You know, doors to open, keys to find, levers to pull yadda yadda yadda… well, while playing a few nights ago I decided to screw around in the game with one lever and see what happened if you pulled really fast… yeah, it turns out my luck with machines in real life mirrors that in games. The computer now assumes have pulled this lever one too many times and will not let me do so again (it thinks I solved the puzzle) so the game is locked up. There’s no reset, no start over, nada. I’ve had to start all the way over from scratch. This is the bane of every gamer, usually it happens when your memory card erases data or you accidentally save over your game, but this, this just sucks…

Luckily there’s blood and boobies, so I’m fine with it.



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com