Icky Day

Yesterday was just full of ickyness.

A little after midnight (still technically the same day) I’m driving home, it’s a clear night and suddenly a clear fluid started dripping on my through my rear window. There was no rain nor dew, so I have no idea what it was. All I know is it spattered on the dried sweat on my arms (I just got off from my night job) creating a bit of a mess.

In the morning (after oversleeping) I jumped in my car and sped down the road. As I was driving I felt a slight tickle on the back of my neck. The tickle increased until I reached up and grabbed a big spider that was trying to nestle behind my ear. When I grabbed it popped squirting spider jizz all over my hand (luckily no behind my ear).

At work I felt a sniffle coming on. The sniffle got worse till I realized that my nose was bleeding. So I snorted back as much as I could and tromped off to the bathroom. There I proceeded to fill up countless paper towels with blood. To make matters worse the bathroom has one of those trashcans with the metal swing tops so while I’m hemorrhaging I’m wiping down the bathroom like Norman Bates on a blind date. Finally I cleaned enough blood up so that I could tell my boss that I may need to take a longer lunch in case I start bleeding again (where’s my nose tampons?) and yes it continued dripping down my throat all the way through lunch.

Man, with the way that day was going I wouldn’t have been surprised if someone had pissed on my shoe at the urinals (I actually worry about that every time I use one.)


Exile

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