To The Lady With Too Many Children

Dear Lady With Too Many Children,

The other day I went into Burger King for my hour lunch and had the unfortunate privilege of crossing your path. While I do see many people like you from time to time, I have chosen to write to you specifically.

I distinctly recall watching as you stood inline with your three children... Wait, let me rephrase this. I watched you stand in line while your children ran about the "restaurant" like brain damaged lab monkeys. Yes, you stood there, doing nothing, while your eldest offspring mad the rails that mark the order line his own personal jungle gym, while your 2nd oldest child threw a ear-piercing tantrum on the floor. While you stood there with the look of pure parental inaptitude, the other child you kept slung over your shoulder continued to cough on every person in line.

Now, I'm not sure if this the first time you've ever let those things out of their cages before, but you may want to reconsider this course of action next time.

To be honest, I'm not sure what is more horrifying about your parenting skills, that you'd released such foul creatures into the world, or that you are axially creating a new one as we speak (I apologize if you're not pregnant and just fat.) Even though I know you cannot change your past mistakes, someone should have advised you that if you can't even raise one child successfully don't attempt to raise three (or four).

Ma'am, I tell you this in the hopes that you will refrain from polluting this planet any further with your offspring, thank you.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com