My Balls Are Huge

Families often have past times that they bond over.

For some it's Baseball
For Red necks it's Nascar
For Canadians it's Hockey.
For the Irish it's drinking

For my family, it's bowling!
(well, we also do a lot of drinking, but try and bowl while we do it)

In my family everyone eventually gets their own bowling ball.
My Mom and Dad bought theirs when i was a kid, they had joined a league consisting of the other parents in the neighbor hood.

My mom had a baby blue ball with her name engraved on it, it was cute and friendly.
my Dad had a ball that was black as obsidian, it was so dark that your eyes just slid off it.

The thing is, my parents are good, damn good.
Back in the day my Dad nearly broke 300, my mom, well, as goofy as she is rarely can be beat.

A few years back my brother perfected his bowling technique

(it's like this, but with more style)

Last Christmas my brother got his own bowling ball, it has a swirl of dark colors and a bowling ball bag consumed with flames.

When it comes to my bowling style i have a bit of a hindrance, well two of them
1) because i don't have my own ball, ever time i bowl i have to use a different "alley" ball
2) the only time i can bowl well is when I'm drunk (i have no idea, it just works that way)

So, while the "drunken bowling" skills can be attained with proper applications of copious amounts of beer, the ball is another issue. I figure I'll ask the 'rents for one for my birthday which will make them happy to know that i will be that much closer to not sucking at bowling (Last time we bowled i was nearly beaten by a six year old using bumpers)

lately I've been thinking of what kind of bowling ball should i get. my first instinct was to go with something jet black. But as hella says "not all balls look the same, sometimes they have different colors." while the context of that conversation may have been of things non-bowling in nature, i realized that if I'm going to get a ball, it's gotta be very "exile."

With that I've decided to take some insperado from one of my favorite movies:
Mystery Men


That's right, the skull ball!


right now, i have my choices narrowed down to two styles:

The Traditional Skull:


The Zombie (Crazy) Skull:


Naturally, i would insist on getting "exile" engraved on the ball.

feel free to leave a comment on which of these magnificent balls i should play with (after all, i can't go walking around with two big ass balls, now can i?)


Of course, i could always go with Ernie McCracken's Rose Ball

Exile