Job Slob

One of the most irritating situation that we all must go though is that of interview for a job. This is usually an excruciating time because you have to dance the interview dance and word everything just right. It's always the same scenario, you arrive at the future employers office, either really early or way too late. You fill out your basic info on a clipboard racking your brain for the name of your boss from three years ago. While sitting in the reception room chairs you realize everyone is staring because you are so over dressed with your tie and dress shoes. You make a mental inventory of things that don't normally cross your mind, "How long ago did I brush my teeth?" "Am I wearing too much deodorant?" " Do I really want to work here?" "Ok, I have two clean copies of my resume and a credit card bill that I don't have money enough to pay." Finally you're called in to meet with your interviewer. The conversation is quite vague in regards to the work you'll be doing, all they want to know is how fast you type and if you're on drugs. You have to keep your self from making any incriminating jokes and stick to interview humor. "well my last boss offered to buy me a hammock for my cubicle, because I worked so much" (that's a side splitter). Or "there are few things in life I love more than filing, but not many." you can't make the jokes you want to make, like the question like "so how do you feel about working under a woman?" I can't reply "well, I find that when their on top I have to do less work." after an hour of mind numbing questions they then ask you "is there anything you'd like to know about the job." um, yeah, there's tons of stuff, I can't ask though, it will make me look bad. "I have a question, how much are you going to pay me?" "Can my hours be ten to seven? I like to sleep in." "how strict are you with the whole sexual harassment thing?" the end of the interview is left off with "ok, I'm going to look over your resume and well be in touch." wonderful, now I have to keep in mind that I might not get this job, but I have to do this ten more times this week and they most likely will be for nothing.

On your drive home you start thinking to your self "well, being homeless wouldn't be so bad, it would be like camping every day. I used to like camping."


Exile

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