Revelation

This whole time I've been looking at the darker side of all of this. is my nature, to look at the problems and find ways to fix them. This isn't a terribly bad thing, but it's not exactly fun to always see the bad in every situation, regardless of how much i strive to fix things, I'm still focusing on the bad.

Lately things have been at their worst, and knowing that i could not fix what has happened i felt as though i had no place to stand. i watched as the end came for me, and i began to welcome it. I've finally given up. i decided that i wouldn't think about how things went wrong, and why they did. And so i have given up.

With all my thoughts in chaos, swarming with depression there was no way out. It is only though giving up that i have found salvation. i realize that this is the end, but not the finale. This is not the finale at all. It's just the end of a chapter.

Lately my mind has focused on the fact that i was going to have to find some shitty apartment, and start my shitty life over. But why? There's no reason i have to. i am not going to simply shackle my self back down with my old life. I'm not just going to exist, i plan to live. i plan to make this next chapter far better than the last one. I've decided I'm going to have all the fun in live that I've denied my self for so long.

Yes, i say denied my self, there's no one else to blame, and there's no one else can solve this. I'm no longer going to focus on a life that I've lost, but rather work on a life worth living. There are plenty of things i plan on doing, things I've always wanted to do. Many people make a list of things to do before they die, but they make this list intending to die when they're done.

My list is quite different, it's going to be something remarkable. And while i don't have her in my life i will have something much better, freedom. No more holding back. i don't know what's commons next, but it's going to be fun.

Hell, i might just invade Canada!



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com