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Exile Industries: Department of Redundancy Department

Monday, October 08, 2007

A Whole Bunch Of WTF

Man, my day was full of WTFs. or should i say, i had a day's worth of WTFs. three of them.

Who The Fuck?
I charged out on my lunch so that i would have enough time to hit the Costco gas station and have enough time to eat. When i got there there was a line of cars (5 per pump). so i sat there in the heat and waited.

when i was finally "next to next" i noticed the car at the "front pump" pulled out. now, normally this is the key for the person in front of me to drive through the station, then back up to the pump. instead, some lady comes driving up between the two aisles of cars.

at first i figured she probably just wanted to leave, but no, as soon as she made her way to the front pump she backed up. THE BITCH BACKED UP INTO THE FUCKING PUMP! i was pissed to the point of enraged, who the fuck did this stupid bitch think she was? what made her so god damn special? so not only did i have to wait my turn for gas, but i had to wait hers too.

i was completely livid and i was dying to go out there and say something... unfortunately i couldn't think of a single thing i would say that wouldn't end with me shoving that nozzle up her... well, she'd definitely have gas.

How The Fuck?
for the past couple of weeks my truck has been acting up, a little bit of grind here and there when i go to shift. after first i thought it was my clutch slipping, but when i checked the fluid it looked full...

it looked full

today after lunch i decided i was getting tired of grinding every time i put it in reverse, so i popped the hood. and opened the clutch reservoir. now when i say reservoir I'm being generous, this thing is the size of a shot glass. when opened the cap i saw that the small black rubber bucket (i have no better term for this thing) was full of clutch fluid. so i decided to pull the stupid black thing out of the reservoir... bone dry!

how the fuck did this happen? i was told by a mechanic that the little black bucket was a filter for the clutch fluid, but this was ass backwards. the fluid was supposed to be poured directly into the reservoir, and when it needed to be pumped back into the reservoir it's supposed to crush the little black bucket to make space without getting air in the line.

so i used the little bit of fluid in the bucket to get my clutch working again (i filled it later on at the parent's house).

this leaves me wondering one thing, HOW THE FUCK DID SOMEONE BECOME A MECHANIC AND NOT KNOW THIS SHIT! I've been grinding my gears like a pole dancer try'n to earn money for baby formula because this ass clown doesn't know how to fill a clutch reservoir!

Why The Fuck
At work we have the job books at every machine.
the technicians often staple the work orders to these flimsy little paper books

when they need the work order they just rip the sheet of paper off the book leaving the staples in place. the staples of doom!

do you see this picture of the cute little buggy? (photographed by Brapps)


imagine right there in the corner where his little antenna is a very sharp, very hooked staple being jammed into that small little space between nail and flesh. now imagine that the hooked staples was scraping the whole way in, gouging that tender skin beneath the nail. now imagine that the book that i was holding was in mid-spin and thus twisted the staple deeper into my thumb.

i had to unscrew the staple out of my thumbnail.

the two parter to this one is WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE LEAVE A STAPLE STICKING OUT LIKE THAT? and WHY THE FUCK DOES THIS SHIT HURT SO FUCKING BAD? i mean sweet dead baby Jesus that fucking hurt, it's been hours since and it still aches




man...
What The Fuck?

Exile

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7 Comments:

  • Ohhh MAN... do I know about having this kind of day. My heart goes out to you friend. Sorry It was one of those days where :fuck: is in every question but not in the right way. ;)
    I am sure you can get Miss Hella to kiss that ouchie alll better :)
    xoxo

    By Blogger Shibari, at Tuesday, October 09, 2007 1:51:00 AM  

  • You crack me up. You can make even a rotten day funny. Thanks for making me smile!

    And think maybe i should give my Master some stapled paper to use on me?? That totally made me grin.

    By Blogger brooke, at Tuesday, October 09, 2007 3:29:00 AM  

  • Sounds like it was a completely WTF day...those are possibly the most irritating days of them all!
    As for your ouchy....I could kiss it better but I know that if I kissed other things it may take your mind off the whole day....and not just the ouchy!!
    HOpe today is better!
    MUAH
    Love you!

    By Anonymous Anonymous, at Tuesday, October 09, 2007 4:34:00 AM  

  • I hope your day tomorrow is full of fucks - but the better kind ;)

    Ms SD

    By Blogger Sexy Duet, at Tuesday, October 09, 2007 4:37:00 AM  

  • cute bug

    By Blogger Hollz, at Tuesday, October 09, 2007 5:11:00 PM  

  • Even though you don't come & visit me I will still take pity on you.....a little bit:)

    If I was having a bad enough day I would have said something to her but then agian that could get real ugly.

    By Blogger Mackey, at Tuesday, October 09, 2007 10:21:00 PM  

  • shibari- mmmmmmm... hella kisses tend to make any day better

    his pet- i'm glad my pain brought you some joy, hehehe. but i have to say that hurt way too fucking much to recomend that one. friends don't let friends staple their thumbs!

    hella- i fucking hate days like that, of course, i've had so much worse... and yes my ouchie could use some hella TLC *muah* i love you baby

    SD- tommorow sees way too far away, hehehe

    hollz- thanks, you too

    h.wood- the other concern i had was... what if she kicked my ass?

    mackey- i gladly accept your pity, as undeserving as i may be...

    By Blogger exile, at Wednesday, October 10, 2007 12:27:00 AM  

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