Your horoscope
As a means to further provide a service to the blogging community I thought I'd write up a horoscope for you. That's right, this horoscope is specifically directed to you, the reader. Using the alignment of the cosmos and the occasional comet I will give you a glimpse into the future and beyond. The spirits, or something, have asked me to ask you to filling any info I placed in the parenthesis:
Greetings (your zodiac sign),
It turns out that today will be a memorable day for you. After all, today is the first day of the rest of your life, in that it will be much like yesterday. Your arrival today at (work/school/prison) will at first seem uneventful, save for those who have already attempted to ruin your day on the (freeway/bus/kitchen). Today you will find humor in something that is often not considered funny by others, most likely (the physical pain of others/a subtle innuendo/ this blog).
Be wary of a financial transaction today, it will leave you with less money than you started out with this morning. Keep in mind that someone from (your past/your home life/rehab) will think about you fondly, but you will know nothing about it. Today, someone will smile at you first, and then greet you; this person wants something from you and will attempt to get it.
The movements of the planets have revealed your future. The planets tell many things, they speak of an alcohol problem you will face soon, the problem being that you will not have enough. The planets warn that a long since forgotten mistake in you past will soon complicate your future, like (toxic gas from last night's dinner/realizing there's an unsightly stain on your underwear/running into a "one night stand" who can't seem to stop itching.) they also say that you will eventually die, and while many will be sad, someone you owe money to will be pissed.
Today's wisdom- "It's ok to be you, it's better to be someone else. With enough self improvement, one could deny all kinds of horrible truths about themselves."
Lucky numbers- 24, 8, 14, 69, 36-DD
Lucky color- pink Lucky website- www.stupid.com
Lucky time- happy hour!
With my Venus in Uranus
Exile
Original_exile@hotmail.com
Greetings (your zodiac sign),
It turns out that today will be a memorable day for you. After all, today is the first day of the rest of your life, in that it will be much like yesterday. Your arrival today at (work/school/prison) will at first seem uneventful, save for those who have already attempted to ruin your day on the (freeway/bus/kitchen). Today you will find humor in something that is often not considered funny by others, most likely (the physical pain of others/a subtle innuendo/ this blog).
Be wary of a financial transaction today, it will leave you with less money than you started out with this morning. Keep in mind that someone from (your past/your home life/rehab) will think about you fondly, but you will know nothing about it. Today, someone will smile at you first, and then greet you; this person wants something from you and will attempt to get it.
The movements of the planets have revealed your future. The planets tell many things, they speak of an alcohol problem you will face soon, the problem being that you will not have enough. The planets warn that a long since forgotten mistake in you past will soon complicate your future, like (toxic gas from last night's dinner/realizing there's an unsightly stain on your underwear/running into a "one night stand" who can't seem to stop itching.) they also say that you will eventually die, and while many will be sad, someone you owe money to will be pissed.
Today's wisdom- "It's ok to be you, it's better to be someone else. With enough self improvement, one could deny all kinds of horrible truths about themselves."
Lucky numbers- 24, 8, 14, 69, 36-DD
Lucky color- pink Lucky website- www.stupid.com
Lucky time- happy hour!
With my Venus in Uranus
Exile
Original_exile@hotmail.com
posted by exile at
3/16/2005 01:28:00 PM
2 Comments:
This is the truest rendition of horoscopes....anyone could write one and it would apply equally to ALL, and people would still fall for it, in fact I related all of it to something that happened to me at any given time today. games!
By
Anonymous, at Thursday, March 17, 2005 11:51:00 AM
someone i used to knwo wrote the horoscope for a magazine i worked on, he told me that people acctually thought he was putting effort into what he was writing. he just laughed.
By
exile, at Tuesday, March 22, 2005 10:33:00 PM
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