Pleaser

I've never really been a happy person, but I have tried.

Unbeknownst to many, there is a great deal of sadness inside me. It’s kind of always been there, chewing away at everything around it creating a dark little hole.

Oddly enough, this hole doesn't bother me.

Don't get me wrong, I don't like it. I mean, who could really like being sad?

You’d think that when someone has one of these holes they try and fill it, because that empty void leaves them feeling cold and alone. Unfortunately, the reality is that most of these people create sadness around them in order to not feel alone outside them selves. (Think of the "misery loves company" thing, except they create the misery and the company.)

Personally, I don't like this idea.

What I do I try and do things that will make it a little more bearable. I do this by trying to make the people around me happy.

A smile.
A laugh.
Whatever.

When you see me, you see me making a joke, or a silly face, anything to keep the group happy. When I’m not playing the "jester," I’m often the "care taker." the caretaker role often involves me making sure that everyone is in a "good" state.

"Here, drink some water."
"Let me get that for you."
"Hold on one second, I’ll set you up with a place to sleep."

I'm usually the guy at the party that makes sure everyone is having a good time, and also making sure the drunks are not going to choke on their own vomit. (It’s a fun job.)

Someone told me a while back that being a "pleaser" is a bad thing, and that it makes you too focused on other people.

Perhaps it is a bad thing to lean on others by helping them as a form self-serving altruism; doing things for other just to make your self feel better.

But by this logic, doesn’t it mean that that the every person who gives to charity should stop? After all, they’re doing so to make themselves feel better, or to possibly alleviate guilt for living a life without tragedy?

I’ll admit that the reason I do things that make others happy is because it makes me happy. I can also admit that if I’m ever “there for you,” I’m doing it because it makes me feel like a good person.

This probably does make me selfish.

But the fact that I choose to do to actually make others happy as opposed to sad should far outweigh my selfish motives.





And now, the Happy Song.





Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com