Drunk Post! REady SEt go!

Wahoo! I'm so msashed right now. I'm so drunk even my typos have a slur. it's been a while since this.

In sobriety my mind is a malstrom of thoughts, chaotic, there is no peace. but being drunk, the machine has come to a halt. i acctually skipped. my thoughts are random, but really, aren't all my thoughts?

sperm travel at .001 mph.

no i don't know what that is in canadian.

it's true, most of the the people that read the tripe i call writing are canadian. it's ok, i love them for it. canada is to america what america is to mexico... do you buy piggy banks down here?

Did you know i have a friend named jenna that is on par with me sexually (well, nearly) that is engaged. i could never provide her a future, but man the present would rock her world.

I also have friend named jenni, I'm sure she's reading this thinking oh god, please don't mention me. jenni is cute as hell, but I'm far to tainted for her. it's ook, i'd enjoy making out with her, but it will mostlikely never happen. after all, i can't seem to console people on death. i tried, i fail, I'm used to it.

I have a muse, i'd mention her name, but she knows who she is. she is fucking incredible. i don't care how far away, it's true. if i close my eyes i can hold her in my mind. sometimes i think that if i hold her tight enough that i can find the elusive mayfly of peace. that i could feel as if I'm not who i am. sometimes i think that i could be happy in her arms, if only a moment. the times i think about this are the only times i can acctually sleep.

I want to write more about my muse. i want to tell the world that she is so wonderful, that with a single smile she can light up the world. i want to say all of this. but i know that any one who could see this would know, and anyone who can't doesn't deserve to.

i know that all the pain i feel will pass, i knwo that i am transparent right now, but that will pass too. it's like i am what the evil of the world would create if it purged it's self of what good it had. tainted as i may be, I'm still evolving.

did you know i've distroyed every life that has ever come close to me? meh. if you know the story of icharas then you knwo that you shouldn't fly so close to the sun. such a sunny disposition. no i know.

carmine is awsome. i wish he's post more. something tells me i don't want him on a thought sensitive dimond heist, but i'd love to buy him a beet.

the hot libraian is cool. i would enjoy hanging out with her. she's the kind of girl that would like to see kung-fu huste with me. niether hanky nor panky, just to go out. i dont' think she'll call back.

my favorite game to play at parties is lightning reaction. you can find it at www.stupid.com. if you have the means i highly recomend it. mind has served me well for years.

i would love to have a woman tell me she desires me. to get naked and tell me that, atleast for the moment, i am the most important thing to her.

i am Arthur Dent. if you don't get it, you may have to read a book.

I am jack's sense of rejection.

you're reading this at work. you occationally look over your shoulder for your boss. you think as long as you minimize you'll be fine. just so you know, he knows. you know he knows. he knows you know he knows.

i have to pee.

...

i don't any more. yes i took care of that in the bathroom, no it wasn't in the sink.

i think i drank every palletable form of alcohol in my apartment. it was worth it. it drowned out thoughts of an empty champaign bottle and two glasses on the counter last night. i don't want to think about it.

i watched sin city last night. thoughly enjoyed it. it fed my male bloodlust. heros rising out of the darkness in a world where hero's are scare.

And now a random Johnny The Homicida Maniac Quote: Dear diary, today i stuffed some dolls full of dead rats i put in the blender... I'm wondering if there really is something wrong with me.

earlier tonight i was immasculated. it wasn't significant to anyone but be but it happened. while in my gym class i set up the leg extention machine. as soon as i was done some big guy pushed me out of the way saying "mind if i use this." before i could answer he was already working out. i said, "sure, go right ahead." i know why i couldn't stand up for my self. i knew what she had taken from me. i knew it was petty for me to blame her.

i have a statue in my room. it's small, barely a foot tall. when you look at it, you see a woman infront of a skull alter in thong panties. she faces away from you, when you look at the alter there is a mirror wher you see her face. her entire torsoe seems to be torn away. i bought this because i seemed to speak to me. i was a symbol of vanity and death. everyone else thinks it's dumb.

i want to sleep. i want to feel like I'm weightless in oblivion. i dont' always get waht i want.

spell check is going to be hell on this one.

i have a king size bed and no one to share it with. it would be nice if that weren't true.

everytime you use the restroom you wash your hands. when you walk out you touch everything on you way back to your desk. not everyone washes their hands.

i know i'll be hungover tomorrow. i don't care. it's casual friday.

i want to chat with someone, late at night. unfortunately none ever IMs me. is it sad that no one IMs me, or is it sad that i miss that?

technically, if i go down on a lesbian it should be the same thing, but then, wouldn't it be the same thing for a gay guy?

While i write this, my muse is sleeping. she sleeps in a bed that is so far i can only dream of it. i imagine big cushy pillows and an oddly comphortable down comphorter. she grips a pillow to her breasts with eyes tight. durring the day she thinks of me, and smiles. at night she dreams of dreams that should never be tained by my kind. i want only to touch her, the rest will play it's self out as it does.

i loved a woman named susan bastian. she said she loved me. one day she stopped talking to me, stopped writing. i wonder where she is and how she's doing. i know she regards me as a stupid kid, a mistake.

one day i will prove my self to the world. i will become something great. in the end i will realize it was all worth it. but I'm not at the end, and i don't see it all as worth it.

alcohol fading, must publish before sobriety and reason prevail.

you know what? fuck spell check, tonight i will leave this raw.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com