I'm Not A Goddamn Jungle Gym

Why do people let their offspring run amuck with out the forethought that their child is annoying. I'm sure at home it's cute when the child climbs all over the furniture and tries to make family members eat paper. But not around me. For some reason one of my coworkers thought it would be a great idea to bring in her brooding while she was working at let the thing run about the office.

As if the screams for attention weren't bad enough the thing spots me in my cubicle and decides I'm it's new play thing. Pulling on my arms it attempts to feed me paper while yelling in it's shrill voice. Personally I have no patience for children, so I scooped the thing off the ground and set it down right in front of the mother. Needless to say this only kept it out of my way for a few moments before it decided to bother me again. If felt cornered in my own office. After all you can't strike a kid if it's not yours, and it' really hard to "make it look like an accident" at work. "I swear, she fell down the stairs."

Take some goddamn responsibility for your child, tether them to the desk if you have to, just keep them away from me.

Needless to say that my meager pay does not cover the duties of a babysitter. Next time I'm setting a bear trap with some poke'mon cards in it. Just in case.

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Anonymously yours...

I love you, tony.
cindy
--Posted by Anonymous to Exile Industries: Department of Redundancy Department at 9/9/2004 09:52:23 PM


Anonymity, it's a very interesting state to exist in, but it's even more interesting when people write to you from said state. Back in elementary school, we were not above passing notes with this message "do you like me? Check yes or no." granted when I was in school I probably set up this form in triplicate, and requesting that it be notarized, but I was a dork, that's what I did. In those days we were so shy that no one ever directly asked anyone about their feelings, in fact it was always a friend who had to play the part of Cyrano just to get the ball rolling.

But we grew up, we got jobs, and we stopped passing notes with check boxes, but we still remain bashful. Along with our coy nature we have also developed a distrust for the unknown. The comment at the beginning of this entry arises many questions. Who is this Cindy? Why would she say she loves me? How does Cindy know me as Tony? And why are such feelings of infatuation posted anonymously, and on an entry regarding voting and other futile activities?

There may be no way to find out who are what Cindy is. Be it a random crossing of paths or a poorly played ruse, it is only my reaction to this that I may hold as tangible. So Cindy, whether you're real or not I thank you for your kudos and I hope you enjoy what I writer, and if you're not real, well, at least you gave me something to write about.



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

And you still want to vote?

So at this point you can officially say that a vote for George Bush is a character flaw. Those people that are voting for him don't even know why they are. "oh, he's a Christian," yeah, so was Hitler. (ok, Hitler most likely wasn't a Christian, but it's a theory of mine.) So now every one is on the "Anyone But Bush, 2004" campaign. After doing more in one presidency then any other leader to damn our environment it seems like a simple choice to simply not vote for him. Hell, at this point John Kerry could sodomize your grandmother and you'd still say "yeah, I'd vote for him." and yet there's still an election to be had.

What no one really seems to realize is that no one really elected George to begin with. Don't get me wrong, there was an election, and everyone who voted was counted, but the majority did not win. Thanks to the manipulation of the electoral college (an arcane system that no longer serves purpose) a president was elected and put into "power" without the American people's say so. Bush was brought into office for one reason, to go to war. It's simple, they (by they I mean those running the country) needed someone who could play John Wayne, put a stop to Saddam (who we gave power to) and put us in control of the Middle East. Al Gore was a bad choice for this role, after all, he might want to be president, but George had no interest in presidency. Picture the monkeys the put in the first space capsules, no real interest in what they were doing, after all they were dumb monkeys. So George agreed to dance on the strings like a good marionette and go to war. He wasn't worried about his political career because he didn't have one.

And four years later there's another election. George Bush is running again, but I'm pretty sure it's not of his own volition, he simply has to continue his role, which transitioned from John Wayne, to "Bad Cop." The role of good cop will be played by John Kerry.

So now the ones in control of our country will have to make a choice do they want to muscle the world and keep George. After all, they used George to successfully urinate on the UN with wild abandon. Or do they bring in John Kerry, and try and convince the world that we're not bad, we just happened to give a handgun to a monkey, don't hate the US.

But feel free to vote this November, after all it's your right. And hey, they just might listen to what you have to say this time.

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com