Mad Props

I rarely ever read a blog that keeps me entralled but this guy's got it. Very funny, well written, and Canadian... two out of three ain't bad.

http://clucarelli.blogspot.com/

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

A Not So Merry Knott's Scary Farm Situation

Piece of flying monkey shit! I just received word from a friend of mine that her and her boyfriend will not be going with me to Knott's Scary Farm. Now, while that may not seem like such a horrible sequence of events I'm now stuck with two tickets which were $75 out of my pocket. We're going tomorrow night at 6:00-6:15 and I need to find someone who can go. It's a Thursday night so most of my friends can't go due to work.

The really irksome part of this is that she e-mailed me today that she forgot to ask for the time off of work to go. I've been planning this for over a month, in all that time there was no mention that she didn't ask for the time off. I'm not mad at her because she normally doesn't work Thursdays, but she still should have made positive. Nothing I can do about that now.

So now the quest begins, to find two people who are willing to go at a moment's notice and have one hell of a time.

I don't have too many doubts about finding people to go with, worst case scenario I just scalp the tickets on my way in, (I really don't want to go to jail for that, so it's a worst case scenario). I just really hate that I'm now in this position.

In summation: "Bitch bitch bitch, whine whine whine, wanna go to Knott's Scary Farm?"

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Competition Competence

I had talked about it a great deal before, but I never mentioned what happened with my Super Smash Brothers Melee tournament through The V Games (www.thevgames.com). Going into the tournament I knew that I didn't have much of a chance of victory, after all to some of these guys these games are there lives. When I first arrived at the tournament and began practicing it became clear where I stood in all of this.

during the practice the guys I was playing against seemed to have very intimate knowledge of the game. Is was as if the majority of them knew every cheat and glitch in the system.

My first match I lost, the fact of the matter was I was out played. This guy was just better, I had no problem with that. He played as Fox McCloud and whomped me yay verily. The main advantage he had was that he knew how to fall through platforms without landing on them (glitch in the game).

My second match was against a little kid, I won, but it felt kind of hollow. This little guy was in the tournament because his older brother was, he didn't stand a chance.

My third match was a loss in the most upsetting of means. The reason was that I shouldn't have lost. I was playing against another kid, slightly older than the last, and for the most part we were evenly matched. This didn't bother me in the least, after all, I wanted a good match and it was. Unfortunately I didn't get to play at my best. While I was playing his older brothers came over and began shouting while I was playing. As events like this go, you expect to hear yelling and cheering. But these guys were doing it to distract me. Every match they were yelling in my ear and trying to taunt me. "I can't believe you let him hit you," "man you're not very good at this," or "this guy sucks." with them yelling and at times actually bumping me I couldn't focus and I made too many mistakes. I wouldn't have had a problem with losing to this kid, but not like this.

At the end of the tournament was stewing, it wasn't that I lost, it was that I was cheated out of my game.

But the other thing that kept ringing through my mind about the tournament was how I played. I shouldn't have been outed so quickly, but I knew why. The entire time I was practicing for the tournament I didn't have any human competition. None of my friends play video games, and no one wanted to learn. I played against the machine, but all that did was teach me how to play against a machine. I haven't really played since because I know practice won't amount to anything. I want to compete again, but I need real people to play against.

After years of searching I'm starting to give up on the idea of finding a sparing partner. It's a simple case of cause and effect, I can't compete if I can't practice, and I can't practice if there's no one to play, and there's no one to play.

It's never easy to watch the things you're good at slip through your fingers, but it's even harder when you never had a chance. I know I have the potential, it's the means to achieve it that I lack.




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Saying Goodbye

From time to time friendships end. Some end with distance, some with indifference, some with yelling, and some with tears. Today I believe I have lost a friend in the most permanent sense. She has always been a friend of great distance, mainly because she's on the other side of the country, but at times I feel that the distance was never physical. A very bright girl, but with a life far harder than anyone should have to go through.

We've all felt alone in a crowd, some feel alone when someone's close, but my friend has lived with both for far too long. Victim of circumstance, or lost on the way side, she's found her self with out family, and without a decent set of friends.

She loves music and she loves Hell (the club, relax). She enjoys a good laugh and is very patient, she'd have to be to be my friend, after all, she did the pencil test for me just for our mutual amusement (it has to do with bras). Every time we've talked I've tried to make her laugh, because I think we've both needed it. Sometimes, when we've both felt the cold of being alone we could always just talk to each other.

I never like saying goodbye to good friends, because I know there's not a good reason to lose them. But I guess this isn't the same for her. With the prospect of homelessness and the lack of emotional support from her so called friends she is set a drift. Last night she told me that there may be no way for her to contact me again and vise versa, for that matter. She's made the decision that she will not lose it all again and has the a final solution to her problems.

Any and all plans that I may have constructed to help her have failed to meet her needs. Offers to help her restart a new life here have met with no appeal. I may never hear from my friend again, and I fear no one else will either. I could not console her, or help her find meaning and I can only hope that a warm bath and a bottle of pills can provide her with the warmth and comfort that life could not.

I know that if she was here I could help her, I could show her that friendship can be worth living for. Some say that there is always a way out, but what they don't' realize is that the way is very difficult, and that sometimes it's a path that cannot be followed.

I can only hope that something has changed for my friend, something has made it where she can continue on. I hope that one day I will get to see her and embrace her as my friend. But how far can hope really reach?

Goodbye Elizabeth, and I hope you land safely where ever you're going. Remember me, because I'll never forget you.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Remote Control President

After the presidential debates conspiracy theorists began throwing around the theory that President George Bush was wired during the debates with a little transmitter in his ear. They said that someone was feeding him answers. This is impossible, there's no way there could be someone else out there saying the same stupid things he does. At this point he's like the highlander of stupidity, "there can be only one."


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Not to rush you, but there may be something seriously wrong with you

When it comes to the whole "my first time" situation I'll be the first one to advise that you should only do it when you're ready. Sex is a very big change in your life, it's not meant to be life altering, but it does becomes a dynamic of your life and personality. Unfortunately some people rush into this act too soon and miss out on the joy of it all. We've all heard the stories of teenagers who found themselves in the situation and went through with the act simply out of fear of social rejection. Ah, to be horny teenager in your parents house while they're at work with a girl who only has her Learner's Permit... But I digress.

The interesting thing about being ready is it applies differently to different people. Some people are ready as young as sixteen, while others eighteen. In these situations, once again, the best advise is don't rush, but there is such a thing as being overly-precautious.

Be it religious devotion, or social leprosy there are some people who wait far longer than they should. I'm talking about those who are pushing thirty, or even past thirty. These people handle their genitals like they're gonna break them. Now like I said before, you shouldn't do it until you're ready, but after thirty years if you're not ready there is far more to be concerned about than timing. For the average human our sexual nature become active in our late teens, at this age we are frothing over with hormones. A great deal of confusion arises in these years because this surge of chemicals redefines our emotions and perceptions. The lines between crushes and love blur and we rebuild our selves. slutiness is viewed as promiscuous, and the values of virginity depreciate. To work through this is difficult, and it takes time to find where you stand and where you're going.

It's the ones that don't go anywhere that are in trouble. Virgins pushing thirty and/or waiting for marriage don't understand the long term damage. After chugging the puberty hormone cocktail it takes time, but by your early twenties you should be able to handle it. Self-discovery aside, if you can't figure your sexuality out within six years of activation then waiting is no longer the best means of discovery. As with all good things in life you must actively peruse your own enrichment, I'm not saying go out to the local bar and get laid, but rather put in the effort to find yourself. Don't wait till you're ready, get ready. After all, if you wait too long it may be too late, as with all organic life forms we have a short shelf-life.

Unless you can be content with sexual atrophy.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Who are you people?

From time to time my mind has wandered into the familiar realm that all writer find them selves stumbling into. It a place where a writers wind up in where they feel the overwhelming urge to call out to see if anyone is listening (or reading, for that matter.) I call this mental Way Station the Echo Zone, mainly because usually when you call out you often only hear your own echo. For my own selfindulgence and because I spend far too much time there already I've decided to steer clear of this Echo Zone. To do so I've decided to allow the cold hard truth of the world to block my wandering mind. At the bottom of this page (you've got to scroll way down to see it) I've place a counter to see how many people wander past my work.

Originally I figured the comments link at the bottom of each post would let me know who was reading. But the link is so tiny it most people just gloss right past it, or have nothing to say... at least that's what I tell myself whilst crying myself to sleep.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Electric Love

From time to time our friends in Japan tend to introduce us to new ways to become that much closer to machines. We all remember the Tamagochi fad that swept the nation. Children all over had a pet that fit on to a key chain. These little cyber pets played, slept, ate, pooped, lived and died. They did this all in their little "egg like" computer world. Consider it the evolution of the pet rock, if you will. no longer did children beg mom and dad for a dog, they wanted computer Fido, not the real thing. This fad thrived for much longer than it should, until the children started seeing that artificial life holds seemingly less relevance to organic life. And so the Tamagochi's faced extinction, exiled to junk drawers and the bottom of toy boxes. Their watch batteries eventually ruptured and corrosion set in.

But the market still had a nitch to be fed.

Soon more toys similar in nature began to be produced. Some were monsters that you hatched and trained to fight. Some were small robots that could walk on your desk. Eventually entire computer programs were devised for these simulated creatures, or Sims as the name was coined. First the Sims just lived, then loved, then worked, after a while they didn't shower, and then they died. Before long the Sims were Livin' Large and Bust'n Out of their pre-made mold. They went on-line, and gave us the ability to socialize though little artificial life forms.

And like the Tamagochi before them, they two faced extinction. This is the fate of all artificial life, to exist and thrive as a fad, but soon face the oblivion of disinterest. Be it buttons or keys, batteries or space on out CPU, we create this artificial life responsibility, and maintain it only at our whimsy.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Left To Write

I have nothing to say, nothing to write about. The feelings inside are woven together like a snake orgy, writhing, attempting to force themselves to the surface, only to be suppressed. Suffering from the cold asphyxiation of your own pain, chewing back a tide acidic self loathing.

I've spend a year of my life working to figure out what has been wrong with my life. Now that I know it's almost worse then never knowing. It's that moment in life that proceeds a big change, good or bad, change none the less. Before, I had looked to find a solution to a problem that I believed I could solve. Now I find that the solution was there the whole time.

There have been many times that I have worried about what the future would bring, now I fear it.

All the while the pain and hate that brew inside me begins to boil.

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com