I Have A Gift That's A Curse....

I don't know why, but I seem to have a knack for attempting to do nice things only to have them backfire on me.

Usually when I'm having a crappy day, week, month, year, life... I usually try and do something nice for someone who truly deserves it. a gift, extra attention, whatever.

There are times when it just doesn't work out, sometimes the idea I have just turns to crap. Usually I over think and plan something and when it finally comes to fruition it just falls apart. To give you an idea: EG (Example Given): A kid is making a birthday card out of noodles or something. The kid gets so excited about his idea he glues every noodle in the house to this one card. Now not only are there no more noodles, but the construction paper buckles under the weight and the whole thing falls apart.

There are other times when the idea I have has the best of intentions, but the delivery is just bad. EG: I buy you a new leash for your dog, not realizing your dog was run over by a truck this morning.

Then there are the times when I'll try and do something for someone and the action I take actually makes them feel bad, guilty even. It's like as if I unintentionally impose a sense of obligation for the reciprocation of the act. The thing is that I actually do these things with no intention of reciprocation save for a heart felt "Thank You." EG: My neighbor just moved out here from the east coast and they have no furniture (her son is sleeping on an inflatable mattress). When they eat dinner they're usually eating off their laps or on blankets. So I go out and buy them a little table set (that's just an example, I'd find it cheaper, hehehe) so they'd have somewhere to eat. Now she would feel bad that she couldn't return the gesture so she'd feel awkward.

All and all the bottom line is this, I know I'm not a good person, and I don't pretend to be. But sometimes I like to feel like I am, I like to do something for someone who would enjoy what I can do for them. I guess I just like to feel needed, or appreciated (I'm selfish like that.)




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

What Kind Of Looter Am I?

What kind of looter am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

"i know where you live and i've seen where your children sleep..."

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Did Someone Ask For Something Naughty?

Per Request...




She slips into the hotel room with an anxious sigh and kicks off her high heels. With only ten minutes until her appointment she primps her self in the bathroom mirror. She turns and gives her ass an arousing squeeze, slowly sliding her hands down the skirt.

“No panties, no panty lines.” She announces to her self as she walks out of the bathroom, intentionally leaving the light on.

Grabbing one of the high heels from the floor she peers out the peephole. “Good, he’s not here yet,” she thinks to her self as she opens the door, propping the door open with the heel.

Walking back to the bed she stops.

And the waiting begins.

With what little light that escapes the bathroom her fingers undo the top buttons on her blouse. In the dark room she can barely discern between shadows, but she knows that he’ll find her.

In the dark there is nothing to distract her from the random thoughts in her mind, thoughts of how she all this started. Thoughts drift to the sex in her marriage had turned so bland over the years. So many predicable nights of the same routine, rolling on and off of each other. And then there was the night that it all changed.

A smile creeps across her lips as she recalls the “incident” at last year’s Halloween party. After one too many drinks on the part of both her self and her husband the two of them found themselves arguing in a back bedroom of the party. The alcohol let loose of a torrent of insults and in a rash moment of anger her husband had grabbed her threw her to the bed, pinning her down. Costume clad, she looked up at a man that looked nothing like her husband. Anger quickly shifted to passion and she soon found her having the most intense fucking of her life. The mystery and aggression was the spice that she had been looking for. She often found herself starting arguments just for the angry sex that would undoubtedly follow.

A voice comes from the hotel hallway and she holds her breath, but it was a false alarm. She remembers the first night her and her husband had rented a hotel room for their little game. It was months after the Halloween party and her budding rape fantasies had bloomed into full role-play. Once every couple of weeks she would leave a note for her husband to meet her in a bar or hotel room. But soon even their monthly rendezvous seemed to take on the same air or repetition their sex had before. She needed more.

Repositioning her bare feet on the hard hotel floor she could feel the result of her anticipation starting to drip. She breathes deeply as the door was creaks open. The hallway light slices it’s way through the darkness as her long awaited intruder enters the room. He callously kicks the shoe out of the doorway and walks up behind her.

Her arms tense as he stands inches behind her; his hot breath cascading down her neck. As she turns he grabs both of her arms tightly and pined them to her side. She struggles as he pulls her arms tighter, pulling them behind her back. Her breasts squeeze against the inside of her blouse. With a smile on her lips she pushes back attempting to wriggle free, but his hold remains unbroken.

“Not so rough” she whispers.

“Shut up.” He responds throwing her down on the bed.

Picking her self up on her elbow from the coarse comforter she feels him pushing her skirt up over her ass and around her waist. His hand lightly caressed the pale skin before slapping it hard; she could feel a red handprint branding it’s self into her cheek. She exhales with a moan, the sharp slap was electric and her hips could not help but to grind in response. She wants more, but still she resists, knowing he was going to take it turned her on, and knowing she couldn’t stop him made her made her burn for it.

His left hand grasps the back of her neck and presses her face on the bed while he unzips his pants. The hand on her neck clenches down tightly, so tight she felt herself unable to breath. A gasp of air passes though her compressed windpipe as he shoves himself inside her. Digging her nails into his wrist was motivation enough to take his hand from her neck and grab her hips.

To say they were fucking would be considered an understatement; his this thrusts were impaling her. With the anger and fury that consumed her fantasies all these months he kept slamming her against him.

Again he slaps her ass and she cries out, her fingers now claw at sheets while the mattress slides beneath her. His hands leave her hips only to find their new target. She moans loudly as his fingers clamp tightly onto her nipples. Her body bucked and surged as she reaches climax, every part of her body clenches tightly.

Midway through her orgasm his hand slithers past her breasts and grasps her throat. Pulling her close to his body he sinks his teeth into the soft flesh of her neck as he surges inside her. Her knees went weak as he took his mouth from her neck and callously drops her on the bed. She doesn’t move move. She just rests her head on her arms as he pulls his pants up and walks toward the bathroom.

“Fucking whore,” he mutters as he exits the bathroom and leaves the hotel room.
After taking a moment to catch her breath she walks to the bathroom on unsteady legs. She smiles at her self in the mirror as the word “whore” escapes her lipstick-smudged lips. As she glances around the bathroom she sees the used and discarded condom floating in the toilet.

“Fucking whore,” she says flushing the condom.

She pulls skirt back down she proceeds to straighten out her wrinkled clothes, attempting to make herself presentable.

With fantasy complete she vividly recalls the last e-mail she sent him. “The room will be propped open with one of my high heels,” The e-mail said. “No names, No strings.”
Wiping the smeared lipstick from her mouth she notices the teeth marks on her neck. She wonders how she’ll explain the “intruders” teeth marks to her husband, then turns to look for her shoes.





Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

What I'm Thankful For This Thanksgiving.

Seeing as though it's Thanksgiving here in the states i thought i would talk about what the one thing that I'm always thankful for.

it's warm, it's welcoming, it's fun, it's playful, and it's great for snacking right out of the box



That's right, pussy.

it's such a wonderful thing.

Sometimes it's coy


and sometimes it's just clever


It goes by many names too. Vagina, Pussy, Smiley Sam, Bearded Clam, Ham Wallet, Face Faucet, and even the "C Word"

(though in this case it's kinda cute.)

So this Thanksgiving I'd like to give special thanks to our special friend, one we're always happy to see.

because it always has a smile for us.

Happy Thanksgiving


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Suck In the Gut Herb, It's HNT

I'm going tandem with Shora & slither this HNT (but they pull off sexy far better than Herb and I do.)


Fyi: It was Herb's idea to pull up my shirt like that... i swear...


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Spending The Weekend With The Mentally Disabled

So, this weekend I decided to do some charity work for the Mentally Disabled.

It wasn't for money.
It wasn't to balance karma.
It wasn't with an organization.

And the person isn't handicapped.




Yeah, so this is my brother. Recently he bought a condo in the same complex as me and his place was, well, barren. He had nothing. No food, no cleaning supplies, nothing.

So I had him make a list, which he had 14 things on it, and after my revisions, the list doubled. To make matters worse, he had no idea where to shop or even how. So I spent all day Sunday taking him to Big Lots first, then upgrading to Target, then Cost-co.

See, the boy lived in a house with two other guys who basically did everything, so as far as he knew all this stuff I used to do was all weird stuff I did all on my own. I showed him how to get discounts at Target, and what things are better to buy at Big Lots than at real stores.

When I finally got him back home I began programming his garage door openers, remotes, and so on to get him situated in his place.

At the end of the day I realized we missed Cost-co, so I took his list and picked up all the stuff he needed while he was at work. I bargain shopped like the damned but now the kid has stuff. Yeah, $190 worth of stuff.

Keep in mind, before I started his fridge and freezer combined only had 2 beers, 1/2 a bottle of water (he stole from me), and a yellow substance frozen to the bottom of the freezer.

Some people say it's nice to feel needed, but it feels better knowing he's not going to be borrowing any more of my stuff.
Exile Original_exile@hotmail.com

Late HNT Pic, Brought To You By My Shitty Internet Connection

Yeah, I'm a half hour past the deadline, but seeing as though Shora was supposed to tandem post with me I guess I'll can get away with it.




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Time To Get Stupid

I can't believe I'm getting such a late start on my shopping, but I've had a lot on my plate lately. Luckily the boys at www.stupid.com sent me an e-mail with their awesome deal!

All you have to do is type PIG in the promo box when you buy something over $20 and you get this:


I'm so getting that hat, it will be the perfect gift for my mom (don't ask). But what I'm wondering is instead of one big order if i should do two so i can get two hats.

hmmmmm... i could get $20 worth of flying pig hats...

i think i might be done with my Christmas shopping.


even better, imagine how many pig hats i could buy with this:

My blog is worth $10,161.72.
How much is your blog worth?

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Crap

I have all these ideas for posts, but no frigg'n time to post them.

So I leave you this to tide you over...




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

HNG: Half Naked Gamer

And just what is sexy about the hands of a gamer?

• the ability to play for hours with out the tiring of fingers
• quick reflexes
• adapt at manipulating numerous buttons
• pressure sensitive interaction
• always eager to score extra points

Of course, all of this is mainly put to use on the ol' joystick.

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

For All Of You Who Think I Have A One Track Mind

Remember that...





you didn't see the dolphins until just now.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

What The Blog?

Wow, i guess everyone is up blog creek with out a paddle.

it's as if the blog well has run dry.

It's times like this when we must ask our selves why the blog are we doing this? Is it for amusing anecdotes about blog? Or perhaps we have a lot of blog on our minds. (There are many of us that see all this blog as just a big pile of blog.)

But to think that none of us have anything to write about is just re-blogging-diculous. Of course, in that same breath, the last post i was working on to tag everyone was total blog. i mean, I've seen dogs leave tightly coiled piles of blog on the lawn that were better crafted.

So should we give up on this blog? Write this off as another steaming pile of blog?

Never!

I say we pull our selves out of the blog, wipe the blog from our eyes, and start writing again. There's plenty of blog to write about, and even if it does come out as blog, we should not stop.

What do you say, are you going to blog or get off the pot?




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Bloody HNT

Sorry about the HNT delay, but i was feeling a bit drained (puns are punny).



(Yes, i have white face paint on, and yes, i am trying to look dead-ish...)


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Burger Night

I miss having burger nights.


It became a bi weekly thing (but straight and gay weeklys were welcome as well) where I'd invite everyone over and make burgers. Now, I'm no chef, and really, i don't even follow receipts. But man do i make a wicked burger.

the nights usually followed the same friendly pattern. I'd invite Jenna and The Jeff, and anyone else who was up for some munch'n. When everyone would show up I'd whip up a batch of my screwdrivers (i add a little extra something). And everyone would crowd around the kitchen and talk while i cooked.

now, unbeknownst to many, i am the GFG master. As with damn near everything i do i had a flawless system, burgers were cooked in minutes and as soon as i was done cook'n i was almost done clean'n too. (i reckon).

Everyone would take the time to savor my meat, nestled between their eager buns. It was during these times of intense mastocation we'd watch one of the millions of movies i had. Afterwards the drinking would commence... Then jenna would get buzzed and pass out.

All in all i think the best part for me, aside from making dirty meat jokes, was that i could get all my friends together for a night and we could just hang out. There were no games, just a good time.

I haven't had anyone over for a burger night for a really long time (9 or 10 months) and now that i live so far away i think it's going to be longer still.

Figures that i would be left here to play with my meat all by my self.*
hehehe





*yeah, those kinds of jokes...


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com