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Exile Industries: Department of Redundancy Department

Friday, February 29, 2008

Haiku Fridays

worked twelve hour days
Four AM to four PM
for the past FOUR DAYS

utter exhaustion
stacked with bad insomnia
sleep depravation

Full Throttle* Sucks
No way as good as Monster
(It tastes like Pee-pee)

exile


*"Full Throttle" is an energy drink made by Coca Cola and Satan

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Thursday, February 28, 2008

HNAC-half nekked alarm clock

For the part three days Ive had to wake up at three to be at work at four, so this is all the nekked you get.

And before you point it out, yes my alarm is showing four, not three. thats because i set it ahead to what time ill get to work so i know he in late... its just my system.

hhnt
Grumble grumble

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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

What's Long, Black, And Fits Snugly In All Three Holes?

The Power Cord for my Laptop!

with the remaining juice in my battery I ordered two of the cords last
night. I also ordered a USB powered fan too, but that's only because my
order had to be over $10 (and it looked cool!)

the thing I'm really stoked about on this one is that the cord only cost me
three dollars. normally in the situation I'm in, once the cord goes bad they
(the computer industry) want you to buy the entire AC adapter which runs (at
minimum) $90. needless to say I don't have that kind of cash to shell out,
but my tech addiction wants what it wants.

but seeing as though the AC adapter is in relatively good condition (I've
made a few repairs) the cord that runs from the adapter to the wall was the
only part I needed to replace.

the weird thing about all this is that in every store I went to (Staples,
Office Depot, Best Buy) the guy working there told me the same thing: "you
know, we get people in here all the time looking for those, but we don't
carry them, maybe you should try_______. but I think you're going to have to
contact the manufacturer for that."

hmmmm... call me crazy, but if you have a giant office supply store that
carries everything from designer paperclips to iPod speakers in the shape of
a dog (that dances to the music), why wouldn't you keep a couple of these
things?

hell, I could start my own internet store and make a fortune just selling
cords to things. and what would set me apart from all the other cord
dealers? I'D ACTUALLY PUT THE SPECS FOR THE CORD ON THE WEBSITE!

Yup, when I finally found a site that sold my cord ( www.cords4computer.com
) I actually had to call their sales department, who referred me to the
manufacturer, who had to talk to a tech, who e-mail the IT department, who
used a Ouija Board to determine the Amps and Volts of the cord I wanted to
buy. (btw, the Amps and Volts for the cord are imprinted in the plastic on
the damn thing)

*sigh*

now I get to play the waiting game. I placed the order last night, so with
my luck I'll get my cord in 10 days...

I can make it that long without my computer right?
I mean, it's not like I'm addicted.
I'm sure I can find better things to do when I get home, like... read a
book, clean my fish tank, vacuum...

crap, I knew I should have paid the extra two bucks for express shipping...

well, if the Professor on Gilligan's Island could build batteries out of
coconuts, I'm sure I can figure out something... then again, if he was so
damn smart why couldn't he find a way to patch a hole in a dinky little
boat...


exile

Monday, February 25, 2008

Powering Down For A Bit



crappy crap crap

welp, this sucks

not only did i damn near burn down my condo (again) but now it looks like this will be the last of my "at home blogging" for a bit.

here's the skinny, when they make laptops they make the unit it's self very capable of being transported. they make them light, they make them semi durable, they make them fold up. yay for that.

unfortunately they don't make the power supply so user friendly. the cords going into and coming out of the AC adapter are very cheap, so after packing mine up and unfurling it so many times the plastic wore out and the wires frayed.

so last night as i was returning from a relaxing shower, i went to retire my laptop (which provided the porn that led to the relaxing shower, hehehe) and accidentally tripped over the power cord.



yup, there was a bright flash a little pop, and a nice brown singe on my carpet. luckily the laptop was off so there was no harm there, but I'm writing this post on borrowed time, see, very very soon the power is going to evacuate the battery and when that goes i won't be able to do anything on my laptop until i get a new cord.

this means:
no catching up on Lost
no "at home blogging"
no e-mailing (there's a blog at the office)
no chatting
worst yet, no porn!

ugh...

Oh speaking of e-mail, Facebook can go fuck it's self.
why you ask?

well, they decided to put in a cute little feature that make it so if you unwittingly stumble into the wrong location of their site they will use your information to access your e-mail and send out an e-mail, on your behalf to everyone in your contacts list to come view your Facebook page. yeah, that's all fine and fucking good except i have a lot of e-mail address of a lot of people that i really would prefer to either remain anonymous with (like co workers) or just not have contact with me again (like people i don't consider friends anymore).

thanks Facebook for hacking my e-mail and fucking me over, oh, and btw, YOUR QUIZZES SUCK!



now that that's off my chest i'm going to scurry off and preserve what's left of my battery life.


Exile

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Saturday, February 23, 2008

My Balls Are Huge

Families often have past times that they bond over.

For some it's Baseball
For Red necks it's Nascar
For Canadians it's Hockey.
For the Irish it's drinking

For my family, it's bowling!
(well, we also do a lot of drinking, but try and bowl while we do it)

In my family everyone eventually gets their own bowling ball.
My Mom and Dad bought theirs when i was a kid, they had joined a league consisting of the other parents in the neighbor hood.

My mom had a baby blue ball with her name engraved on it, it was cute and friendly.
my Dad had a ball that was black as obsidian, it was so dark that your eyes just slid off it.

The thing is, my parents are good, damn good.
Back in the day my Dad nearly broke 300, my mom, well, as goofy as she is rarely can be beat.

A few years back my brother perfected his bowling technique

(it's like this, but with more style)

Last Christmas my brother got his own bowling ball, it has a swirl of dark colors and a bowling ball bag consumed with flames.

When it comes to my bowling style i have a bit of a hindrance, well two of them
1) because i don't have my own ball, ever time i bowl i have to use a different "alley" ball
2) the only time i can bowl well is when I'm drunk (i have no idea, it just works that way)

So, while the "drunken bowling" skills can be attained with proper applications of copious amounts of beer, the ball is another issue. I figure I'll ask the 'rents for one for my birthday which will make them happy to know that i will be that much closer to not sucking at bowling (Last time we bowled i was nearly beaten by a six year old using bumpers)

lately I've been thinking of what kind of bowling ball should i get. my first instinct was to go with something jet black. But as hella says "not all balls look the same, sometimes they have different colors." while the context of that conversation may have been of things non-bowling in nature, i realized that if I'm going to get a ball, it's gotta be very "exile."

With that I've decided to take some insperado from one of my favorite movies:
Mystery Men


That's right, the skull ball!


right now, i have my choices narrowed down to two styles:

The Traditional Skull:


The Zombie (Crazy) Skull:


Naturally, i would insist on getting "exile" engraved on the ball.

feel free to leave a comment on which of these magnificent balls i should play with (after all, i can't go walking around with two big ass balls, now can i?)


Of course, i could always go with Ernie McCracken's Rose Ball

Exile

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Thursday, February 21, 2008

One Fine Valentine (With A Dash Of HNT)

43 days

it had been 43 days since the last time i had kissed those lips
smoochies
and let me tell you, it felt like forever ago.


We needed this trip, we needed it badly.

Wednesday the 13th
this was the day that Hella was supposed to arrive. now i say supposed to because in theory she was supposed to arrive at LAX at 8:45 pm.

but a bunch of "dick farts" at Pearson Airport thought it would be a good idea to delay Hella's flight by Four Hours.

the poor thing was so exhausted, and understandably so, by the time we got home she had been up for 24 hours!

needless to say she needed some serious snuggleing

Thrusday the 14th, VALENTINE'S DAY!
our much needed sleep was callously interupted by repeated early morning phone calls.
here's something i don't get, if a someone hasn't seen his girlfriend in two months and it's Valentine's Day Morning, why the hell would you call?

yeesh...

Our morning started out with smooches, snuggles, and the final day of The VD Treamtment
The 14 Day VD Treatment
click here

Thursday, February 14th– being Valentines Day, it’s only fair that you post a tandem HNT picture. Show off your love. After that, make with the Snu-snu

For This HNT Project i came up with many saucy ideas for a tandem HNT post, but waking up with hella, i realized there was one moement i had to imortalize...
morning snuggle
Waking up with her in my arms

After a groggy awakening we exhanged presents and had a much needed shower
mirror hearts

I made Hella a full blown breakfast:
make'n breakfast
apple slices with peanut butter
waffles
eggs
tea
and of course, cranberry juice
Cranberry

After a fine breakfast it was off to get our asses fisted!

allow me to explain... we went out to meet up with my friend Tracy who is a massage therapist. Now the thing about Tracy is this, she's tiny, but mighty. so when she works on your back she doesn't just give you a "fluff and buff", she works you. she throws in elbows, forearms, and fists. and when she's working her way down your back and hits your glutes she attacks with fists a fly'n! (she's damn good)

After being massaged into a drunk'en stuper, we headed out to a little english pub for some pretzels and hummace (yeah, i had never heard of this combination either) where i learned A) don't doubt hella's ability to spot parking spots, and b) sometimes beer tastes like bannanas.

the rest of our Valentine's Day was very simple, we we home and relaxed, watching movies, lazing about. later on that night we stopped by my parents house and exchanged a few Valentine's presents with the parents.

though there was one final stop before bed time, a mad dash to the Cheesecake Factory! the girl loves Cheesecake, and I love the girl. there's no way i was going to let Valentine's Day get by without a trip there

Friday the 15th
Sight Seeing!

Today was the the day that Hella hit hollywood.

Even for a friday, the drive took forever.

We took the 405 all the way up to Mullholland then drove over the crest of the Hollywood Hills.
the beauty of the hills of beverly
if you look real close you can see houses that are worth more than i'll make in my lifetime

but needless to say it was a beautiful day to see some sights
couple on the cliffs

for this portion of the trip i'll just throw out some pics (a picture is worth a thousand words, and i'm tired of typing, hehehe)

Mel's Trip Pics 015
Cement Ponds, Movie Stars...


beverly Hills Hotel
Beverly Hills Hotel
"if those wall could talk" nuth'n, imagine what the sheets would say


Rodeo
it says Rodeo, but i don't see a single horse...
ChanelGucci


Viper Room Drive-By
in traffic the whole time, as soon as we want to get a shot we moved... figures


The Jim Henson Company
we didn't even see this one at first! it's just randomly sitting on a random street
so random


Kat's Place
There it is, Hella's Mecca, home of Kat Von D


High Voltage!
Awww look how shy the little fan girl is in front of her idol's shop


LA Ink
A star is born!


High Voltage Couple
High Voltage Couple


the gates of the theater
The Gates Of Hella
(she took a ton of pics of the stars, but i didn't upload them)


in front of the theater there are all kinds of "wacky" charactors prancing about for you to take pictures with
hands off jack!
Now this i find funny.
Here's Jack Sparrow attempting to steal the necklace that my parents bought Hella for Valentines day. note how she pulled a gun on him.


jack steals a kiss
yet as soon as he kissed her hand that gun dropped real quick, hehehe
(busted again?)


The award goes to...
Oscars are heavy!
(turns out the ones we posed with are the ones they'll acctually give away at the oscars, neat!)


The best girlfriend award
Click here to get a better view of her award


While on top of the building looking for a good spot to see the sign we found these giant stone elephants
the 2nd biggest thing she had in her hand that trip
(it's the 2nd biggest thing she's held in her hand all weekend)


then it was off to a fancy Hollywood Resturaunt
macdonalds hollywood style
dollar menu, ahoy!

After that, it was back home, well, there was a stop off at the parent's house for wine and hot tubb'n!


Saturday the 16th
This was Hella's shopping day
we cruised the Lake Elsinore Outlet Mall

Durring a call to her monkey i picked Hella a single yellow flower. she smiled that smile at me and i realized that for her this is full spring, while winter was still waiting for her back home.

So i had to capture her in spring time
pose'n with poppy's

the orange flowers you see behind her are California Poppies
the hill side

of course, i had to join in!
poppy to see you

(here is a close up of the poppies)
california poppys


That night...Party time!
boo!

It was my cousin's husband's b-day party and we joined in the drinking fun

Hella and my mom
Here's Hella and my mom dancing and carring on drunk.
(btw, look at how tiny my mom is, even Hella is bigger than her!)

hella was enjoying the Hurricains, and the they were enjoying her...

the Tequila on the other hand...
uh oh
The Tequila, it was a bad idea, and we left shortly there after

but not before Hella said bye to my dad
Hella & My Dad
here is the conversation that preceded that shot:
Hella- we're going to be taking off
Dad- *looking at her* you're drunk aren't you?
hella- No...
Dad- *smiles*
Hella- *giggles* ok, just a little
From there hella droped down catching her self as she squated next to my dad... i had to snap the pic

Sunday the 17th
Poor little Hella was a bit hung over

Luckily a trip to IHOP took care of that!


I got a regular breakfast...
wanna know what hella got?


we spent the rest of the day chill-lax'n and went out to dinner with the rents.



with all my dad's free time he's taken to making sushi as a hobby, and he's damn good at it.

on our way home we decided to make an imprompt tu icecream run

being our last night, we stayed up kinda late, ya' know...

by the time it was bed time Hella passed out.

So sleepy, she forgot to take the towel off her head and the glasses off her face
sleeping hellasleeping hella2
even asleep, she's so beautiful

Monday the 18th
*Pout*
I made her the last breakfast of the trip as she packed up all her goodies.

and she did all her packing in one of my hoodies!
hella hoodie

I dropped her off at the airport and waited till her flight took off. (there was a big snowstorm in toronto and i didn't want her stranded in LAX all by her lonesome).


*sigh*
the hardest part is letting go. we kiss our good byes in the hustle of the airport, but we can always take solace in knowing that a part of us always stays with the other...

even if it is in the form of hair on my shower wall
love hair
(click here for a better view)

even now, as we sit three thousand miles apart, we are still together
shadow couple

I love you hella and i can't wait for our next trip
*muah*


Exile Signature

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Friday, February 15, 2008

hehehe

Thats hella's Tushie while she's checking here e-mail. Grar!

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