Helloooo From Canada (HNT & Haiku Friday, EH?)

Hey kids, I thought I’d take a moment from my world domination tour to catch up on my weekly obligations (HNT & Haiku Friday)



the flight went quite well
save for the kid convention
the filthy bastards

Seriously, why is it if you don't like something you seem to see it everywhere? I mean, the plane was swarming with the little dirt-monkey's (bleck). Luckily I didn't have any sitting in the same row as or I swear to god I would have made a rudimentary box cutter and took that bitch down.


lost in the airport
do I "exit" or "Sortie"
(the tricky canucks)


Yes, turns out when you ask someone for directions when you're lost in an airport you're fair game to be fucked with. (I’d be pissed, but it was kinda funny...)


Then I saw Hella
t'was too long to go without
The heart does melt...


When you miss someone so much that you don't realize how much you do till you realize that you don't have to miss them anymore. The fact that we're not even half way though the vacation and it's already the best six days of my life should tell you that.


As for My HNT of the years best, well I thought it would be fitting to show that even though I’m on Canadian soil, I’m still American.




in yo face


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Merry Fuck'n Christmas, Bitches

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Haiku Friday

Dad is doing good
marbles back where they belong
... Old pain in the butt

time to watch the fights
can't wait to go to the mall
my shopping is done



just five days to go
and then I'll have her again
everything I want





Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

HNT Wishes

As part of an HNT theme,
OS has asked us to make real his dream.
He wanted us all to write out our wishes for others,
especially to all our blog sisters and brothers
But instead of picking a few people to make them wishes,
I thought I'd make them for all my bitches.

The First Wish is that you get lots of holiday treats,
hopefully they will consist of meals full of lots of meats.


The Second Wish is that of a simple one,
I want you kids to get out and have some fun.


For my third wish I have to reserve and not get all mooshy,
but I'm really hoping you all get some pussy!


As for me well you know there is only one wish for this fella,
and in six days I get it, and it's sexy is all Hella!




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

To The Lady With Too Many Children

Dear Lady With Too Many Children,

The other day I went into Burger King for my hour lunch and had the unfortunate privilege of crossing your path. While I do see many people like you from time to time, I have chosen to write to you specifically.

I distinctly recall watching as you stood inline with your three children... Wait, let me rephrase this. I watched you stand in line while your children ran about the "restaurant" like brain damaged lab monkeys. Yes, you stood there, doing nothing, while your eldest offspring mad the rails that mark the order line his own personal jungle gym, while your 2nd oldest child threw a ear-piercing tantrum on the floor. While you stood there with the look of pure parental inaptitude, the other child you kept slung over your shoulder continued to cough on every person in line.

Now, I'm not sure if this the first time you've ever let those things out of their cages before, but you may want to reconsider this course of action next time.

To be honest, I'm not sure what is more horrifying about your parenting skills, that you'd released such foul creatures into the world, or that you are axially creating a new one as we speak (I apologize if you're not pregnant and just fat.) Even though I know you cannot change your past mistakes, someone should have advised you that if you can't even raise one child successfully don't attempt to raise three (or four).

Ma'am, I tell you this in the hopes that you will refrain from polluting this planet any further with your offspring, thank you.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

A Woo-Whoo Too Soon

Oh man am I exhausted, and I think you would be too if you were spending every day at the hospital. it's pretty much been the same routine for the past few weeks.

wake up at 5:30am
get out of bed at 6:00am
realize I’m late for work and leave at 6:20am
get to work a little before (and sometimes after) 7:00am
call my dad on my lunch to see how he's doing at 12:00pm
get off work at 3:30pm
go to the hospital at 4:15pm
go home at 9:00pm (sometimes 8:00pm)
eat, unwind, shower, chat, and go to bed by 1:00am

ugh... needless to say I’ve been a very tired boy lately

the most taxing thing has been what's happening with my Dad. it turns out that the "good news" I got on his condition was a bit off. so here are the stats:

1. My dad officially has cancer, I don’t' know what stage it's at, but I do know that while he has cancer in his brain, the cancer is actually coming from somewhere else (and seeing as though he's been smoking for the past 26 years...)
2. only 60% of the tumor was removed, the rest of it is too tightly wrapped up in his brain
3. since the operation until yesterday my dad has been bed-ridden, the dizziness and nausea has finally subsided as of yesterday
4. my dad has a big "zipper" of staples going down the back of his head
5. they are releasing my dad home today, but he will have to start "Kee-Mo" in a few days.
6. we are reconsidering taking him to the city of hope seeing as though it turns out to be the #1 hospital (for cancer) for people who don't have insurance.
7. it looks like the Doctor we're going with is the expert is in the field and his whole team is on board to tackle this (each of the doctors are visit my dad daily).

So that's everything as of today... as for the real reason I didn't write about this info when I got it on Thursday is that I didn't want to. this still feels like it isn't happening, and putting in writing just makes it a little more real than I want it to be.


on a side note, two days ago I threw away a piece of cheese cake that was in the fridge, last night when I got home I realized I forgot to take out the trash... needless to say I opened every window in the house, lit every candle I could find, and called a priest to exercise the smell from my house.
"Christ, even stink would say that stunk!" ~ Fat Bastard (Austin Powers...)

HNTY- Half Nekk'ed Thank You

With my dad out of his surgery and coping with a splitting head ache, I thought I'd say thanks to every one who wished us well.

Thank you for all your moral support and donation... Oh wait, I didn't get any donations ya cheap bastards
(hehehe, just kidding)

But there is one person who deserves extra special thanks, someone who was there for me to talk when I needed it and reminded me that I need to be strong.

For being so wonderful you deserve extra special hugs, and seeing as though it's another twenty days till I can do it in person I hope this will do.



Thank you for being the one who was there for me.




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Woooo-Whooooo!

He's all good!

My Dad's surgery was today and everything went smooth. The doc pulled the tumor with out a problem and patched him up.



I went to see him before he went in and he was in good spirits, on his way down the hall way he made car noises as they pushed him. After they wheeled him off my mom, brother, and cousin went out to breakfast, I went to back to work. (I just needed to keep my self busy so I wouldn't worry)

Later in the day I found out that the surgery went well and he was asleep. After work I went to the hospital to check on the old guy. The nurses didn't want to let me in, but I have my ways.

It was such a relief to see my dad. he was exhausted and laying in the dark, but he was still able to joke with me. (he pretended he didn't recognize me)
, the jerk). I only got to see him for a min, but he was breathing on his own and able to shake my hand.

Now that the worst part is over it's finally time to relax and Feel Good.


I think I'm going to pass out now.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Postponed

The surgery was postponed again...

that's the 5th time it's been postponed

but today they had us collect his personal belongs and bring them home
this seems a little more serious than before


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

We're Not Really Good At "Decembers"

Man, it looks like my family is just not have a good run when it comes to Decembers. Last year we had a loss in our family.

And this year, well...


A few weeks ago my dad started having some neck and back pains. At first he just wrote it off at a pinched nerve that would work it's self out. As the days progressed the pain increased. Finally after 3 weeks my dad was nearly bed ridden. But the Quack doctor he was seeing was insisting it was a nerve and kept drugging my dad up.

Finally Thursday night, around midnight my brother picked my dad up from the bathroom floor and drove him to the ER. A shot or two of morphine and my dad stabilized, the blinding headaches and nausea subsided. It was shortly after that they did the MRI. It turns out that my dad has a tumor the size of his thumb on his on his cerebellum right by the Brain Stem (the part where your spinal cord connects to your brain).



The doctors say it is superficial, but the problem is that the tumor is sitting in a position that any blood flow to the area causes it to swell essentially crippling my dad with headaches. Translation: any time my dad gets up, moves, or turns his head the tumor gets pissed. Luckily the steroids they have him on are keeping it in check.

there was supposed to be an emergency brain surgery done on Friday, but the found out that my dad had an infection in his system, and the meds the Quack was giving him masked it (this also made it harder to figure out what it was.) Because this infection has been so damn tricky we've spent every day (Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday) thinking that day was going to be the day of the surgery.

The final word as of today is that the surgery is supposed to be Tuesday, they finally identified the virus/infection.
E-coli!
WTF? Yeah, I guess he's had it for months and it just never bothered him. I swear this guy is a frigg'n take, it took his brain to nearly explode to finally put him down...

you know, that's actually the hardest part about all this. My father has always been the rock in our family. No matter what was happening, no matter where we were, we have always depended on him to be strong for us all. Now, he's the one that's sick and everyone is feeling lost. My brother is taking on the majority of the responsibility of keeping everyone updated but, it's taking it's toll on him. My mom has worried her self sick, and with her surgery coming up in a few weeks we can't afford to let her keep worrying her self.

As for me, well, I'm waiting. If everything goes well I'll let my brother continue to take control of this one, but if anything goes south. Even though I'm staying positive I know that there's a lot to go wrong here. I mean, the three options are he could Live and be back to his old self again, he could die (he is getting up there in years), he could be paralyzed, or he could become a veggie. If any of these worst case scenarios arise it will fall on me to make the decision on what to do.

Years ago my dad and I were working on a landscaping job at a hospital for the terminally ill. As we were wet stacking a wall there was a rhythmic moaning coming from the window we were working next to. It turns out it was a kid, probably 16 years old, who, from birth, spent every day on a ventilator and groaned. As we worked we heard him choking on his own saliva. My dad turned to me and whispered "promise me that if I'm ever in that condition you to let me live like that." I had him make me the same promise.

And what of my dad you ask? Would you belief that he is showing absolutely no signs of illness. He's spry, up beat, anxious to get out, and flirting with every single female nurse who comes in the room and the traffic is constant. I swear he's two steps away from throwing rubber gloves on the floor just to watch them bend over. He's completely up beat about the surgery, usually joking about it. (part of me knows it's a show to make us feel comfortable, but I don't' think anyone else needs to know that.)

So now we wait, the surgery is coming soon, and there's nothing left to do but to wait... The surgery and recovery time should be around 3 or 4 hours.
as it turns out those are going to be some of the longest hours of our lives.


So wish the big guy luck tomorrow











Oh, and BTW, the Quack Doctor still hasn't called my dad back about getting an MRI done... Yeah, this guy wanted my dad to do physical therapy for 3 weeks, my dad would have been dead by then.



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com