Pore On The Friendship, Tits That Simple

Many people don't agree with my philosopy of helpful honesty among friends, and take offence accordingly. "What is helpful honesty?" you ask? it's when you tell someone something before they embarras themself. in other words a small dose of embarrasment among friends or a huge does in public.

Here's an example: let's say you and your buddy are going out to a club. when he shows up at your place you see he has a huge zit on his forehead. as you gaze into the white puss filled orb you can swear it's going to blink at any moment. belive it or not most people would not tell their friend because they wouldn't want to embarras them and allow them to go into the world with an unborn twin protruding from their forehead. can you imagine how he's going to feel at the club when every girl he tries to pick up on in the club just stares with bewilderment at his face funk. instead you can be a real pal and say "hey, wanna put that zephlin in it's hanger and pop that thing off your forehead." sure he'll be a little embarrased walking around with a soccerball on his head all day, but it's better than it erupting at the club.

Incase you're still not convinced here's another example: let's say a friend girl (or girlfriend if you won't get too confused) comes over to your place before her to get your opinion of how she looks. you realize that you can see straight through her shirt, and clearly the restaints of a bra will not be an issue tonight. you culd just let her go, sure it's a cold night and she might put on a jacket, but jacket or not it will still be a bit nippelly. the guy she's going out with might get the wrong idea and put the moves on too fast, she'll think he's an ass and her date might end abruptly. as a dutiful friend you should should tell her that you can not only see through her shirt be you can tell how cold it is too. hopefully she'll have time to change or atleast keep her sweater on.

Sometimes it's better to be privatly embarrased by a friend than by an entire crowd.


In ether senerio it couldn't hurt to snap a photo before you tell them.

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Soul Fusion

It's security. As human being we are all afraid, and when we're in charge of our own lives we've terrified. There is no set path for any of us. But giving up you individuality to be a part of something give great comfort. (This is the reason major religions still thrive.) When someone fuses with someone else in a relationship they sacrifice I for we.

And this works for a while, individuality gives way to comfort and security. But this can't last, soon comfort becomes a natural state and becomes something you never think about, like air. (you don't' realize you need air till you don't have any.) when this stage is reached one partner can look at the other and see there is nothing to them, nothing special, nothing new, and thus they move on. The only solution to this is to not completely fuse. Each partner in the relationship should have their own interests, own likes, and own friends. That way at the end of the night they can talk about things other than work and school. They can enjoy their differences and stay bonded together.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

And I Thought I Loved Pussy

Ok, you can love you're cat, there are people who really love their cats, then there are people who are fucking nuts. I read an article today in the yahoo news that a woman paid $50,000 dollars to have her cat cloned.

Genetic Savings and Clone (http://www.savingsandclone.com/) is a company where anyone can have their loved pet cloned.

I'm willing to make anyone interested a better deal, you give me $49,500 and I'll deliver a cat that looks just like your old one, I'll put a collar on it, hell I'll even put a bow on it.

I don't care how much you love your pet, that is just a frigg'n waste. Everyone is clamoring about the moral ramifications of playing god, screw that. Lets look into the morality of letting someone that stupid have $50,000 dollars to clone a cat. That cat better shit bars of gold, or I'm not buy'n. If you're going to clone something clone something cool, like a dinosaur. Or clone something rare, like a condor (but not pandas, fuck pandas!)

Personally I'd clone something really neat, like Jim Varney, you know, from the Earnest movies.

Here's the full story:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=624&ncid=757&e=10&u=/ap/20041223/ap_on_sc/cloned_cat


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Video Game Junkie

I always joked around about my addiction, never giving it much thought. I always said I could control my self, and that it was just a hobby. it was all lies. I'm a total video game junkie. The latest drug of choice is Jak 2. This game rocks quite hard. To those in the know this game came out a while ago, but with the third game in the trilogy on it's way this one was way cheap at Target so I picked it up.

http://www.jakanddaxterlegend.com/
the story goes as follows after Jak and Daxter saved their world in the first game everything was all good in the hood, so to speak. But in this latest installment the game has taken a much darker turn. Jak and Daxter are flung on to a desolate world full of slums and monsters. Upon arriving on the scene Jak is captured by the corrupt baron of this world. For two years Jak is tortured and subjected to bizarre and painful experiments. Now this average teenager like kid is now thoroughly pissed and out for blood. Daxter still tags along as his side kick (which Daxter disputes at ever turn) providing comic relief and assisting in puzzles. Aside from an intoxicating story the graphics are stunning and the worlds are huge. it seems to incorporate aspects of multiple games, from car jacking hover cars to busting out trick on your hover board. With all this going on the new Dark Powers that Jak was inflicted with are quite wicked (and slowly killing him).

If you want to judge it by hours played I played for two hours on Saturday, nearly 11 hours on Sunday, and four hours last night. The main reason this game (and games like it) is that is a perfect mix of puzzles, fighting, and good story. Unfortunately I'm so strung out on the game that all day at working I'm only looking forward to going home and playing and when I'm home I don't stop playing. I guess the only thing I can do is beat the game. Ouch my arm, stop twisting it.




Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Christmas Racket

"Would you look at that, the Grinch is putting up the Christmas tree." Real frigg'n cute. Someone said this about/to me while I was putting up the fugly office Christmas tree. My boss asked me to assemble our holiday spirit and I guess one of my coworkers numerous kids was with her and started helping me. Personally I don't understand why they bring their kids with them, perhaps it's like the remora, the child attaches it's self to the parents underbelly and winds up in the office. In any case, I'm putting up the tree and enjoying it in my own way and then the kids starts helping me. So far I'm fine. I tell the little girl thing that if she wants to help she can "fluff" up the branches. Of course the kid doesn't. Instead she starts knocking over my piles of branches, which I just finished sorting by size. I continue to work and ask her to keep fluffing up the tree, from my experience you have to explain thing to a child like they're retarded. I personally blame breeding. While I'm doing this and putting together the tree I don't look as happy as someone who's constructing a 'pipe cleaner" Christmas tree. At this point someone walks up and calls me the Grinch. Now, I love Christmas, it's one of my favorite holidays. I hate children, they are vile, disgusting, and annoying. How the fuck to you mix up this glaringly obvious fact. As Christmas approaches I tend to hum Christmas ditties, when I see children I attempt to kick them. It's very obvious. But no, if he hates children he must hate Christmas. This lowered my X-mas spirit a notch so I took the box of Christmas bulbs stuffed in the branches and threw a couple pieces of garland on the side of the tree.

The other day I almost killed a little kid. I was driving down this rather busy street and this stupid kid comes running out into traffic holding a tennis racket. I'm not sure what age kids start walking now-a-days but that's how old this thing was. it just comes stumbling out into the street, eye to eye with my bumper and stares at me as I swerve like the damned. There were no parents outside, no guardian, nothing. I mean seriously, put the damn thing on a leash. Don't they realize what that means if I kill a kid with my car? Paperwork, hours in court, lawsuits, insurance. It's a pain in the ass. If you can't monitor your child and keep them from running blindly into the street why the fuck are you having them?

They were probably inside making more.

My Christmas spirit is still running strong at least. Unless I have to deal with another abomination, I mean child, before then. Somebody asked me "how can you hate children if you like Christmas?" So I asked them "how can you celebrate a pagan holiday and call it Christmas?" that didn't go over well. For some reason people connect Christmas and children like herpes and sores. I don't know why, but people think that my life would be enriched somehow if I had children, like two wrongs have suddenly made a right. They always say that Christmas is about giving, and watching a child's eyes light up when you give them a toy is the greatest gift of all. This is nonsense. Most kids put no thanks into the gifts they get, and no appreciation where they come from. Christmas is a a cycle of self indulgence, you enjoy the presents you get, and when you give you do it because it makes you feel better about yourself. If giving didn't feel good we wouldn't do it.

My stand on Christmas goes as follows: It's the one time of year when we act like the human being we pretend to be and buy stuff for other people who wouldn't/couldn't buy it for themselves. We're a little nicer then we are the rest of the year and we show appreciation to those who have stuck with us. It's not about this Jesus guy, it's about each other, it's about presents.

Merry Christmas


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Life Stinks

Life is like trying to force out a fart. It's a lot of work and in the end you don't really know what to expect.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Life, that's a laugh

Life is a joke. A joke so complicated that we just don't get it. But if you ever get it, you'll find it's funny as hell.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Love Is Gross

Love is popping a zit on your partner's back without hesitating.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Tough Love For "THE BAD HUSBAND"

This was a comment I left for the "The Bad Husband" I figure it's good breakup advice regardless who reads it.


If you're not in the mood for tough love right now read this later...

Ok, that's enough of this. It's about time you start to realize that you have to let go. Not fear it, not dread it, but know it. You're putting so much concern into the fact that she's moving on and she's starting a new life that you're not doing so your self. It's not your job to worry about her anymore. If she want's a circus style three way while a midget in a tutu takes pictures that her deal. The only thing you need to concern your self with in regards to her personal life is if she's exposing your son to anything inappropriate (and by inappropriate I don't mean if your son winds up with two mommies.) Stop worrying about so much about who she's banging and where, it's only becoming pity fodder. Your son is the only thing that should be important to you. You don't have to be happy for her, you don't have to like the situation, all you have to do is accept it. Remember, every argument, every fight, every yell is hear by a kid at the top of the stairs who's pretending to sleep.

http://thebadhusband.blogspot.com/2004/12/personal-ad-created.html


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Complaints

I overheard a conversation today between a couple of my coworkers. The meat of the conversation was that one of them wants to become a cop, but after realizing how difficult it will be to become a cop he is now thinking of quitting his pursuit. He's wanted to be a cop since he was a kid and now he's deliberating over weather or not to go through with it. To be honest I feel no pity for this guy. It's so rare when someone finds what they want to do with the rest of their life. It's even far more rare to actually have a path laid out before them where they can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Most people don't even make it that far, settling into jobs they loath because they don't want one they'll loath equally. Working a job you love is a dream for most, and to pass it up because it will be difficult to get there, that's just pathetic.



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Holy Crap

I have no other way to explain this, it's hypnotically awesome, and kinda disturbing... I like it

http://zoomquilt.machwerk.ws/zoom.htm


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

No Fair, But Fully Engorged

It's just not fair, the office lesbian is telling me all the details of her rich and aerobic sex life and it's reflecting the lack of my own. Earlier today she was telling me about how she divulge to her partner that she has a fantasy about rear-entry and that she wants to make it a reality. She's telling me all the details in regards to their marathon sex and all the while I'm cheering her on. Mean while in the back of my mind I'm thinking that the closest I'll get to this is reenactment it in my imagination while taking a shower. Needless to say at this rate there's going to be a pipe shaped baby crawling out of the drain. But I digress, I have to say I'm very happy for my lipstick lesbian, after the fire-hydrant of a girlfriend she had before (short and squatty) she deserves what she's getting.

Part of me really wants to ask to participate, but I figure that's the idea that all guys have. And really, do I want to disappoint two girls at the same time?

I suppose we all hang on to the fantasy wisdom of Dick Dedrick, "two outlets might look good on a wall, but it takes a plug to turn on the light."

Still, you can't help but to smile about the idea of two hot lesbians, anal sex, and lots of naked!

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Stalker Love

Your dry heaves say no, but your restraining order says yes.


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

Invisible Lunch

Ok, we don't always look at the lowest rung of a latter before we step on it, but this has gotten ridiculous. Every day I eat my meager lunch and look forward to half an hour of solitude. During this little break I am officially not at work. I am less of an employee during this time then any other time of the day. So why is it when I'm eating everyone come up to me , give me work, and talk to me about problems they need me to fix? It's like they can't function for half an hour without giving me more work. I never bother anyone during their lunch, I don't say "hey, I know you're eating, but review this chart before you digest your food." Any time I interrupt someone on their lunch they look at me like I just tried to eat my own head. But when it comes to me hunched over my desk eating lunch everyone just walks in piling on the work. I even turn around, face stuffed with food and point to my meal, but they just look right through it. "all I see is an empty desk" they think, "here's some more work." I'm not the kind of person who eats all day and is constantly on lunch, but I'm starting to think I could be. After all, if they can't tell when I'm on lunch, maybe they can't tell when I'm supposed to be on lunch either.

Moral of the story: Don't feed the bears, and then start fucking with them.

Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

The Truth, Deal With It

Boys are dumb, men are worse. Girls are insecure, women are worse. The smarter boys/men get the more they understand the insecurities of women, understanding this leads to power, power leads to control. Do you yield control to someone who is smart enough to know how to exploit this ability? Or do you want someone who is on the same level as you are, and hopefully you can still come out ahead.



Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com

What's Worse, Apathy or Indifference?

I don't know and I don't care. Of all things I've been called in my life, and trust me there's a lot, I've never been called a optimist. The closest I come to optimism is what I call pessimistic-optimism. (Pessimistic-optimism is the act of expecting the absolute worst to make any outcome seem better. EG: when you break up with someone you think of it as if they died, that way if you ever see them you're almost pleasantly surprised.) But like I said, never an optimist. Today I read a story in the yahoo news that made the glass a little less than half empty. "The Optimist Club of Quakertown, Pennsylvania, is disbanding after 24 years, citing lack of interest. " what does that say for the clubs motto? Or motive for that matter. According to the article no one is showing up to join the club anymore. With attendance dwindling the club is closing. Part of me wonders wouldn't an optimist hang in there till the bitter end, hoping something would come along and save the club?

I can only imagine the meeting where they decided to close down the club. The chairman takes the podium to address the club.

Chairman: order, order we have a very big subject to discuss tonight.
Club member 1: What is it? We've been looking forward to what you have to say all night.
Chairman: not so fast, it looks like we're not going to be doing that any more.
Club member 1: I don't understand.
Chairman: the Optimist Club will be closing soon, we can see now that this isn't going anywhere.
Club member 2: What about the clubs motto?
Chairman: you mean "the glass is half full?" yeah, well it's empty now.
Club member 3: This is a gag, where's the hidden camera?
Chairman: no, no gag, no joke, we're really closing down. We have no new members and we don't think we can get more.
Club member 4: So what are you saying exactly Mr. Chairman?
Chairman: I'm saying this is the last meeting, and that we're disbanding.
Club member 1: But we can still be optimistic on our own, right?
Chairman: I wouldn't recommend it, if we couldn't do it as a group I doubt you can do it on your own.
Club member 2: are we still holding the bake sale?
Chairman: no! Look, there's no more club, that's it.
Club member 4: are we going to go over this more at the next meeting?
Chairman: you're kidding, right?


here's the link to the story:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=5&u=/nm/20041201/od_nm/life_apathy_dc


Exile

Original_exile@hotmail.com