HNS- Half Nekk'ed Smile

I don't smile.

let me rephrase, i usually don't smile. often times if you see me walking around i always have a cold look to my face. sure, i can fake a smile at work, but it's usually a lie.

but there are times i do smile. those times i smile, truly smile, there is only one thing on my mind. that one thing is a girl, a girl who is the logical conclusion to my every happy thought.

it's because of her that i smile.

this HNT i chose i chose this pic from our Vegas trip. i chose it because it shows me completely happy and smiling the smile i smile for her...



and if you look in the reflection of my glasses you can see the girl that brings my smile to life



there's my girl laying there being silly and snapping a shot of me

*big grin*





Exile

Complimentary Peanuts

when it comes to relationships with women, all men will eventually find
stuck in a conflict of communication with their partner.

the specific conflict that I am addressing today is that of compliments.

it is true enough to say that all women have issues with their self
confidence. regardless of who it is, every woman has some aspect of
themselves that they just flat out don't like:

"I don't like my belly."
"I'm too tall."
"I hate my thighs."
"I wish my boobs were bigger, smaller, perkier..."
"I wish my hair was curly, straight, blonde, red, had more body..."

often times a woman will mash all these wayward thoughts together and create
a mental image of her self resembling Quasi Moto.

And while women drive themselves insane with a frenzy of
"does-this-make-my-butt-look-too-big" thoughts bouncing around in their
heads, guys remain oblivious. (possibly for our own safety.)

but the oblivious nature of guys does not protect them for long, after all,
if you're going to interact you can't remain entirely oblivious. (many
married men have tried and failed at this one.)

with women in such metal turmoil, some guys (the good ones) will attempt to
say nice things to their woman in an attempt to either make her feel
better, or just to let her know how he feel. but this is where things can go
awry.

see, often times when you give a woman a compliment the mental maelstrom of
their minds will shred said compliment and strip it of intention. ask any
guy and he'll have a story or two about "The Compliment That Went Wrong"
(coming to a theater near you.)

for those of you tilting your head and saying "I have no idea what's he's
talking about." (you liar faces). here is a typical example:

Boy and Girl are about to go out for the night...
girl- How do I look
Boy- you look nice
girl- nice?
Boy- very nice?
Girl- I just look nice?
Boy- no, I meant you look fantastic
Girl- don't' lie to me, I'm going to change
(momentary pause)
Girl- I'll bet I'd look better with {some girl you both know}'s {tits, ass,
butt, legs, belly...}
Boy- (pauses 1/2 a second too long)
Girl- That's it, I'm not going! why don't you just go with {the same girl
mentioned before}! I hope you both have NICE time! (door slams)

*this is why men have a shorter lifespan than women...

and girls, if you think this little slice of life is a work of fiction you
may want to take an impromptu poll... you've probably done it your self.

now, I know I'm no one to try and change the way women think (I'd have an
easier time perfecting perpetual motion.) but I think I might be able to
help.

I've compiled a list to help women understand Why You Should Just Take The Compliment, in
hopes of closing this communication gap, if only by an out of place hair...

Why You Should Just Take The Compliment:

• Take it at face value- if a guy gives you a compliment that can be taken the wrong way, DON'T TAKE IT THAT WAY! Some guys aren't exactly glib, so assume that his compliment is meant in only the most positive ways.
• Don't discourage- if a guy gives you a compliment don't shoot it down. when you're given a compliment and you reply with a contradiction it's going to result in far less coming your way. if a guys says "you're the prettiest girl in the world" just accept it. if you argue or dispute it, you might just wind up being right.
• refusal offends- if you flat out refuse a compliment it's down right offensive. we all know that compliments are often times opinions, but when you tell someone that their heart felt opinion is wrong... ouch
• F'n Frustrating- sometimes, getting a girl to take a compliments is like pulling teeth, and when it's an uphill battle it often gets to be too difficult to continue.
• Counter Productive- with the insecurities that women have, they often only see their flaws. but guys usually don't pay much attention to these so called flaws, especially if there is passion there. so if the only guy you want looking at you doesn't see anything wrong, why would you point them out to him.
• If you want it, get it- Compliments feel good. So if they feel good, don't you want more? the best way to get compliments is to be receptive to them. guys are very Pavlovian, reward them by accepting and they'll give you more.
• Throw the guy a bone, and you'll get one in return- being a guy in a relationship is tricky, often time guys feel like they are just don't know what their doing. guys will try and compliment because logically it seems like a way to bring a woman out of "a mood". go easy on a guy and accept what he's saying. it makes guys feel like we're doing something right.

The moral of this story is that sometimes you need to ignore your negative self image and accept the view of the person you're with. Let's face it, if you could choose how you look, would you rather be the beast you see your self as or the sexy thing he sees you as?

And girls, if you need a little extra help, here's something to help you feel more comfortable in your skin...





exile

Haiku Fridays

Story work goes well
Chapter One is almost done
always rough starting

working on a new post
I'm interviewing the "M"
In and "S and M"

must blog more often
I'm losing all my readers
"any one out there?"

exile

HNB- Half Nekk'ed Bonding

My last trip with Hella wasn't just an awesome trip, it was her first time meeting my family.

I had no worries about awkwardness, because i knew Hella would bond with my Mom instantly!

This HNT i thought i would show off the new bond my Mom and Girlfriend have...



yes, my mom grabbed Hella by the wrist and drug her like a rag doll over to the big oily guys and insisted on a picture. (they were both drunk)


if you're worried that i was getting jealous don't fret, because i know what Hella was really thinking about up there



(she loves when i wear my shiny pants!)


HHNT!


Exile

Parenting

Exile

Haiku Friday

"check engine light," ON!
three big cracks in my windshield
my truck is dying

working on something
it is for Hella's Monkey
a bed time story

It's funny how this works
yesterday was kinda "meh"...
then I made her smile!

Exile

HNP- Half Nekk'ed Pennies

(Don't get your hopes up Polt, i really mean Pennies)


did you ever start doing something so long ago, that you kinda forgot you still do it? collecting things from places or times even though you have no real use for them?

i'm not sure why i still do, hell, i'm not sure why i started, but i've been collecting pennies.

yes, $.01 in american currency.

now i know you're thinking "oh, so you're not just a nerd,but a coin collecting nerd"

yeah... not quite. see coin collecters look to horde rare coins that could have some value or a unique rarity all their own.

my pennies are anything but rare. in fact they're uncommonly comon. see, back in highschool i used to always gather up my change because i was broke, and sometimes i would look at a coin studdy the little features on it before i dumped into my change machine (like i said, nerd).

at one point i was looking at a coin from 1980 and thought "wow, this penny is as old as i am." so i kept it.

then i found a coin from 1985 and thought "awsome, this is from the year that the car of my dreams was made in"


before i knew it i searching out pennies from all the years i've been alive, i kept track of them, all in order. some were harder to find than other but eventually...




27 years on this planet, and it's not even enough to buy a pack of gum


HHNT


Exile

Shake'n My Bacon

Last night I didn't get much sleep. Not only did stay up past my bed time,
but abruptly woke up around 4am. I dreamt I heard a loud roar and
disregarded it as a dream.

This morning I chatted with one of my coworkers:
Coworker- Hey man, did you feel that quake?
Exile- what quake?
Coworker- the one this morning
Exile- *doubtful* um, I don't remember one
Coworker- yeah, it was at four thirty or something
Exile- oh, I guess I did

I decided to check out the news on Yahoo for more info, here's the local
news:
"LAKE ELSINORE, Sept. 12, 2007 (KABC-TV) - Two earthquakes struck Riverside
County Wednesday morning.
A magnitude 3.7 earthquake centered just eight miles from Lake Elsinore hit
around 4:30 a.m.
A second magnitude 3.2 quake rattled roughly the same area at 7:20 in the
morning.
Eyewitness News received a few calls from folks in Lake Elsinore, Hemet,
Riverside and even Rancho Santa Margarita.
So far there are no reports of any real damage or injuries from either
quake.
Two other moderate quakes shook the Lake Elsinore area in the last week and
a half."

In my asking around, I found out that Lake Elsinore, (where I live, btw) has
a Fault Line running through it. And where is this Fault you ask? why it
runs right down the main street by my house!

If anyone needs me I'll be on an island that used to be California.

exile

For Snakes Sake, Update

Nothing much to report here, i got my self ready to take Herb out.

I made sure to take some extra precautions in case things went awry:

1. small burlap bag in case he gets "bitey"
2. my Rubbermaid laundry bin was handy in case i had to lock up herb to "get rid of him"
3. old towel on the bed in case he decides to strike (they have a lot of tiny serrated teeth)
4. antiseptic in the bathroom to clean out any snake bites


(Yeah, like i said I'm a bit nervous about this)


so i psyched my self up to do pull him out, i figure i need to be confident and sure so he doesn't smell fear. (i don't know if they can really smell fear or not, but why take the chance?)

but when i went i climbed up on his tank to take him out...
(yes, i had to climb on the tank, it's big, you see?)

i noticed that his eyes were all white...

see, snakes have scales all over, including their eyes. so when they're about to shed their scales start coming lose on their bodies, including their eyes! unfortunately while their eyes are all opaque they cant' see to well, and to top it off their very grumpy/irritable. (shedding for a snake is like a chick on her period... so i need to buy chocolate rats).

needless to say, I'm going to wait a couple days till he sheds so he will be less grumpy...

I'm taking my time with this because I'm trying to ease him back into being handled

so tonight i just stood there on the edge of the tank petting him... it's funny, the reason I'm worried he'll strike me isn't because of the pain, it's because it will mean i lost him...


(For those of you not interested in Snakey Current Events, here's a vid of a chick getting 5 inserted at once!)




Exile

Hmmmmm....

I was going to do a post regarding 911, but then i figured I'd either go down a cynical path or one that was far too depressing.

So instead i decided to focus on a conspiracy that few are aware of regarding Bush...




Not to mention his involvement with the WMD's
(Weapons of Mogwai Destruction)


How much longer till it's all over...






Exile

For Snakes Sake

Recently it has come to my attention that I have been neglectful to Herb (my
pet snake) and that this may wind up biting me in the ass (literally).

See, it is a cardinal rule that when you have a pet snake you must play with
them on a semi regular basis. it doesn't have to be much, but once or twice
a month should do it.

the reasons for this are:
1. it keeps them healthy, forcing them to stretch instead of laying curled
up
2. allows you to inspect them for any health issues (cuts from rats, etc.)
3. it keeps them from becoming mean...

it's number three that has me concerned right now. see, a while back (as you
may recall) I wrote up a post about how Herb shit on my couch, while I was
on the couch not less. when this happened I
was quite perturbed. I mean, here's my pet that I've taken care of for
nearly 10 years and he took a dump on me!

unfortunately this bothered me more than I though and I didn't take him out
for a while... ok, I haven't taken him out since that day (boo & hiss, it's
ok.)

but now I'm worried, see, he's been in there this whole time with out being
played with. (yes I've been feeding him, and cleaning out his poop, just not
playing with him). my concern is that he may be getting vicious, and seven
feet of vicious snake isn't a good thing.

Two weeks ago I attempted to take him out, but when I took him to the tub to
take a bath I thought he nipped at the towel rack (it may have been my
imagination). so I quickly put him away.

since then I fed him a big fat rat which he devoured and he'd had time to
"digest".

now the moment of truth is here, I've decided that tomorrow is the day I
will take him out of his tank and play with him. if he's a good boy and
remembers me everything will be ok and I'll resolve to be a better owner. on
the other hand, if he strikes at me I will have to get rid of him, and
depending on how vicious the strike is I may have to... well, you know.

needless to say the prospect of "getting rid of" such a long time pet is not
a possibility I'm looking forward to.

so this Thursday there will be one of two possible HNT pics. either it will
be me posing with Herb, or a picture of a large bandage on my arm...

wish me luck!

(the reason I'm waiting till tomorrow is that when I go to the Chiropractor
they put wax on my hands and I can't wash the smell off... why take the
chance...)

exile

The Things You Find On The Internet?

Where do you usually fit in?






Exile

Just A Cool Vid

Man, and to think of all the things that i've been doing with my hands, when i could have been doing so much else...






Exile

HNS- Half Nekk'ed Sexy

I caught Hella's post tonight and was inspired. (of course, her HNT pics usually inspire all kinds of thoughts...)

She said:

Everyone has favorite parts on the human body that they find sexy or appealing.
Personally I love men's stomachs and arms.
(More so the lower abdomen where the groin begins to meet is enough to send me over the edge)
They don't need to be wash board.
All stomachs have something about them that I like.
In fact I like guys with a more normal look.
The everyday guy tends to be quite sexy!
While abs are nice to look at, they aren't the end all be all in the way a mans tummy can be sexy.

As for arms, I love the strength that can be felt and seen in a guys arms. Plus its always nice to feel a mans arms wrap around you in a great big bear hug!

So if you were looking for a six pack, you've come to the wrong place.



but if you'll looking to see what the normal look is, then look no further. cause baby, I'm abnormally normal! hehehe

For this HNT, here's a little bit of the belly, and arms


hehehe, it's been a couple weeks, and i still have the "after sex body"



HHNT



Exile